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    Lost, part 12

    “I should never have let you go,” Bette said; again repeating the words she had said in a dream, but never said to Jodi. “I would do anything for another chance. I’m not afraid to make a fool out of myself.”

    Bette saw the look of recognition that washed over Tina’s face as she repeated the words she had spoken to her in her dream. Questioning the authenticity of this reality, Tina pinched Bette’s arm hard.

    “Ouch!” Bette shrieked. “What was that for?”

    “Just checking,” Tina said hesitantly placing her lips where her palm had just been. Very quickly, both had traded dreams for reality. Then she remembered the dream again. At this point in the dream, Jodi had been observing everything.

    As Bette deepened the kiss, again, Tina pulled away.

    “Jodi.”                             

    “What? Where?” Bette said as she straightened her shirt and looked around frantically.

    “Nowhere. I was just checking.”

    “I know. I was thinking the same thing,” Bette said, relieved for now, but she knew that Jodi was probably not going to cook them breakfast after seeing them together. She would have to do the right thing and end it with Jodi, but she would think about that later.

    This was enough for now.

    ———

    As Bette and Tina stood, eyes locked on the front porch of the house in which they had built their life together, it was as if they were seeing the other for the first time.

     Though they already knew each other better than anyone would ever know them, they were getting to know each other all over again. They had been putting so much effort into being good parents that they missed the subtle feelings that were hiding beneath the surface as they focused on rebuilding their friendship that had been shattered in their hostile custody battle.

    Over the last few months, their relationship had been changing; growing. They both knew something was different, but it was difficult for them to define and even harder for them to acknowledge. The kiss they had shared which had seemingly come out of nowhere was a culmination of a year’s worth of flirting, stolen glances and gentle touches.  

    The relationship they had been building, which was wholeheartedly intended to be built around friendship, had turned into something deeper as they realized that the other was an irreplaceable part of their life. They found themselves looking and longing to be in each other’s arms.

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    Comments

    1. “You’re the first person I want to talk to when something good, something bad, or even something ordinary happens”…that was my favorite part!!! PPS

    2. Forgot to add this…my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I had an aunt who had three episodes of congestive heart failure and managed to make it through all three episodes and live for at least three more years after the last episode until she passed away a year ago. She passed away due to an infection, but had managed, with the grace of God, to pull through. I wish this for your family. Should you need to talk…trecelovinit@yahoo.com

    3. Wonderful story. Only Bette and Tina can work through their own fears. By talking to a therapist or to one another is the key to understanding those fears.

    4. I don’t really understand the statement about Bette “controlling her fears.” She is not irrationally afraid, what she is afraid of is exactly what happened before, that Tina said she wanted to come home and then tried to destroy Bette. Being afraid of that happening again is not irrational, but normal and rational, and exactly what Bette should be doing. If Tina wants her back, it is up to Tina to find ways to let Bette know for positive she is going to stay, and love her and value her and support her,and that Bette can feel safe with her. Bette doesn’t feel safe with her, and that is what was in her mind, and that is what Tina saw.

    5. Bette should consider her fears but she should also TALK to Tina about them that way they can both deal with thier fears together instead of holding things in. That is how they got into so much trouble last time trying to spare the other pain by holding things back from one another. PPS

    6. I hope that Tina will understand those fears and ask Bette to share so that they can work through them. However, I think that Bette is really going to need to end things quickly with Jodie if she wants to move on with Tina. Great chapter! My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

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