“Get out”, Shane whispered with a cracked voice and looked straight through her tears at Carmen.

“Shane….no. Please I´m sorry. You are not well. Just let me stay here with you”, Carmen pleaded, her own tears threatening to fall as she saw Shanes tears streaming down and heard the two simple cold hurting words.

“Get out”, Shane repeated weakly but Carmen could hear her perfectly.

It was like a sharp razorbald that cut through her mind and heart.

“Please….Shane”, Carmen respond breathless and looked into Shanes eyes.

There were only dark pools of sorrow.

Suddenly Shane sat up straight.

Carmen could see how much energy it took for Shane.

“Why did you leave me alone?”, Shane asked with a now hard and cold voice.

“Shane, I….”, Carmen began but Shane cut her off sharply.

“Why did you leave me alone? Why did my own mother leave me alone? Why did my father leave me alone? Why did my best friend leave me alone while a few f*cked up guys tried to f*ck the shit out of me? Can you tell me that? Can you?”, Shane asked out loud almost screaming hysterical while her tears were still streaming down her face.

“I always thought I wasn´t worth it be loved…………until I met you”, Shane went on now a small bitter smile appered on her face at the memory how she had met Carmen but it faded away faster than it had appered.

“But I was wrong”, Shane whispered defeatedly and looked down.

Tears soaking her blanket.

“Now go”, she added coldly and got waggily out of bed, moving to the window.

Carmen just sat in bed. Mouth opened, tears falling free. 

Shane never had talked to her like that.

Not once in the whole time they were together. She never had showed her feelings like that. Especially when it cames to painful ones. She always shuts down on her.

And not once had it hurt Carmen like this.

But Carmen knew that it was the first and last time.

Shane looked out of the window trying not to break down. She just wanted to go back to bed and hold Carmen close.

Tell her that she loves her and that she should come back home. But Carmen needed her family it was better this way.

She felt cold and weak. Behind her she could hear Carmen who was trying to hold back her sobs.

It took all of Shanes strength not to go over to her. She closed her eyes ignoring the pain in her heart.

Her mind was spinning and it seemed like the room was too. She felt the cold sweat on her whole body. Her skin was burning up but she still felt cold.

Finally she heard Carmen getting out of bed still trying not to cry out loud.

Then she just felt a rush of pain going through her head and back while the room had turned up side down.

“Oh my god, Shane”, she heard a lovely but concerned voice from far away.

She felt someone touching her face gently and laying a warm hand on her chest.

“Shane…baby, what´s wrong? F*ck, you are burning”, Carmen says with a husky voice while stroking Shanes forehead.

Shane still didn´t move. Carmen was just about to go and get help when Shane opened her eyes briefly.

“Carmen?”, Shane asked barly audibly and tried to lift her arm to touch Carmens face.

“Yeah, it´s me baby. I´m here”, Carmen grabbed Shanes hand and squeezed it carefully looking with concerned eyes down at Shane.

Shane started to burst out in tears again, her whole body shaking.

“Don´t leave me alone. Please don´t leave me alone, Carmen”, she pleaded helpless holding on Carmens hand like she would fall down a mountain.

“No….my god, baby. No, I´ll never ever leave you alone again”, Carmen promised holding Shane into her arms letting her cry herself out.

“Shhh….its´okay. Everything is gonna be alright, Shane. Shhh……”, Carmen tried to calm her love down who was shaking and sobbing like she cried for everybody who had ever left her alone. 

“Maybe she really does”, Carmen thought and rocked Shane back and forth while stroking her back gently.