"You are such a smart ass. Bette pouted. "Hey T, come and lick it off my will ya – huh?"

Tina looked at Bette in disgust. "No fucking way I’m licking that shit off you. That stufff is toxic. GGGGrooooooss!"

Bette ginned at Tina. "Oh sure…you’ll feed it to the kids but you won’t lick it off of me. Some mom you are."

"Ok, queen of moms – you lick it off yourself!" It was a challenge that Tina could not refuse.

"Are you crazy…this stuff tastes like shit!" Bette gagged at the thought.

"Then why do we make the babies eat it. Is this some kind of modern day torture?" Tina looked at Bette and waited for an answer.

"No…people have always had kids so they could torture them with things like this. Little slaves. Little excuses to kill time. No I can not possibly go out tonight, the baby has the plague!"

"Right Bette, the plague!" Tina laughed.

"You know what I mean. You have kids….suddenly being late, being stained, smelling like formula, walking out of the room abruptly….suddenly it is all socially acceptable. Kids are the meal ticket for leaving bad parties, church services and shitty visits to friends and relatives!"

"Really?" Tina was amused by these revelations. "Kind of like the leaky boob thing being socially acceptable – even if it isn’t your baby who cries!? But boy they sure would like you to leave when that happens."

"Exactly Tina. Or….I can’t possibly come to that meeting…poor widdle Dylan has a fever!"

"I think poor widdle Bette has a screw or two missing!" Tina smiled.

"Funny you mentioned….." Bette winked at Tina.

"Screw…yeah…I said it. So you want to…what….just leave this crowd here unsupervised?" Tina looked around. Melvin and Jackie stood in the doorway.

Bette was mortified. "Oh god, how long have you been there?"

Jackie smiled at Bette. "Long enough to….."

Bette raised her hand. "Stop…stop…stop. Some things are just better left unsaid." Her face was flushed. Flushed in anticipation of what she was sure would come next.

Melvin looked at Bette. Bette at Melvin. Melvin grinned. "Well…aren’t you going to go tighten those loose screws with that beautiful blonde over there?"

"Can I just die now? Is it too much to ask to be struck by lightning? To just drop dead. The things I am forced to endure in this family." Bette rolled her eyes.

Tina laughed. "Not fit for woman nor beast. Come on beastly woman. Let’s get some screwing in!"

"Et tu Tina?" Bette shock her head in disbelief. "You know…I have no clue why we bother to do anything private…nothing is sacred is it?"

"Nope!" Jackie took her place in front of the babies. "Go have some fun."

Tina took Bette’s hand. "Yeah…let’s do some screwing babe!"

"How eloquently put Tina!" Bette shot Tina a nasty look.

"Awwww what’s wong with widdle Bette? Are you getting mad?" Tina stifled a grin.

Bette looked at Tina. "Kennard….bedroom….now….we need to talk!"

"Yes sir ma’am!" Tina laughed

"What the hell was that?" Bette seemed stumped.

Tina smiled at her. "So smart…so beautiful….so sexy….and yet….so clueless at times Porter."

Tina dragged Bette down the hall to their bedroom. "Ok Porter…talk."

"Tina…can we take a shower first and remove this toxic waste they call baby food from ourselves?"

"Sure Bette…then I am going to make love to you until you can’t take it anymore."

Bette chuckled. "Yeah like THAT will ever happen!"

"One never knows until they try…and I will do just that. Now strip and get your cute little ass into the shower." Tina gave Bette a stern look.

"Oh…I am SOOOOOO scared. I just want to talk T."

"Sure you do Bette!"

"I do!"

"I think not – sweetness." With that, Tina pushed Bette into the bedroom. "Let the games begin!"

TBC