Pulling the chain from beneath her shirt she stared at the two commitment rings hanging side by side.  She opened the clasp of the necklace and allowed the rings to slide off into her hand.  As she held them tightly she silently prayed that it was not too late to win back Tina’s heart.  She understood that in the same way she was holding the rings tightly in her hand, she at one time had also held Tina’s heart but had opened her hand and allowed it to fall and shatter.

She replayed the night that had led up to the first time she and Tina had made love.  After a particularly heavy petting session Tina had begun to cry and pulled away from her.  “What’s wrong baby?” she had asked thinking that perhaps she had somehow hurt Tina.

“It’s just that I don’t know how to do this,” Tina replied quietly.

“To do what baby?”  Bette whispered as she looked into Tina’s eyes.

“To love you so very much, yet be so afraid of making love with you,” she said softly.  “How will I know what to do?”

Bette had gently pulled her closer so that Tina’s head was resting against her chest.  “Baby there is no right way or wrong way to make love.  Just know that you could never do anything wrong.  Let’s just lie here and hold one another no pressure, no worries,” Bette had said in barely a whisper. 

Tina had asked her if she would stay the night with her and hold her.  Bette had simply smiled and stood up pulling Tina gently from the couch.  She had taken her hand and led her silently into the bedroom.  Tina had sighed softly at the tenderness of the moment.  As they started to lie down Tina had asked Bette is she minded if she showered.  Bette had smiled softly at her wanting to ask to share the cold shower but knowing that was not an option.  She’d kissed Tina’s forehead and motioned her towards the bathroom. 

Tina stepped from the shower and heard soft music playing throughout the house.  She entered the bedroom and found several candles burning around the room.  Gentle shadows were being cast upon the walls from the swaying of the flames.  Bette was nowhere to be found and Tina had walked back to the living room thinking that she would be there.  The front door had opened quickly startling her just as she entered the room.. 

“***** Bette you scared me!  Where did you go?” Tina had asked as she tried to calm her breathing.

“I didn’t think that you would be finished showering before I got back,” Bette had answered as she slowly walked toward Tina.  Pulling her hand from behind her back she handed Tina a single perfect rose bud.  She leaned in and gently rubbed her nose across Tina’s and said, “You are like this rose, you will know when the time is right to open yourself completely to me and I can wait for that.”  They held each other tightly for the rest of the night and both of them had realized that they had never even dared to imagine this kind of love. 

Making love for the first time several weeks later Bette had gently kissed her and once again rubbed her nose against Tina’s’ “See baby, just like the rose you too knew when the time was right to share yourself  with me.  

Bette  looked down at the rings and shuddered at the thought that the only things that she had left were her memories.