“Nothing really.”

“Nothing really?”

“Well, I’m scared.”

If my past is any sign of your future, you should be warned before I let you inside—John Mayer, I Don’t Trust Myself

“Of…”

“Of falling in love with you.”

Bette brought Helena in front of her, her hands firmly planted on her hips, “You should be.”  Helena looked questioningly at Bette, “I wouldn’t trust me.  I won’t cheat on you, but I’m known for running away when things get too serious…”

“I’ll give you the space you need.”

Helena hated the way she was starting to sound when it came to Bette.  Her voice was pleading, almost desperate.  She just wanted Bette to love her back.

“I can be confrontational when I feel stifled.  I’ll start to force you out by making you hate me.” Bette explained.

“I would never stifle you, Bette, and I don’t know if it’s possible for me to ever hate you.  I just wished you loved me as much as I love you.”

Bette searched Helena’s eyes, “When did you decide you loved me?”

“When I couldn’t imagine anybody else’s lips touching me anywhere, in anyway.”

Bette smiled, “I do love you, Helena.  It just scares me because I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m a big girl Bette.”  Helena placed her hands on either side of Bette, closing the small gap between them, “I can take it, if you break my heart.”

Helena and Bette both knew it was a lie.  If anyone fell in love, they couldn’t just let it go like that.  But instead of questioning it, they decided making love in the pool was a better idea than talking about their problems.

Peggy’s house was completely secluded from the rest of the neighborhood, shaded by trees and blocked by gates.  Because of this, neither woman was shy about tossing their bathing suits to the side, letting them float away from them.

Helena wrapped her thighs around Bette’s waist, pulling her closer.  Her arms around her neck, Helena leaned into Bette.

“Do you love me?” Helena asked.

She only wanted confirmation of what she knew Bette felt too.  She saw it in her eyes every time Bette looked at her.

“I love you.” Bette said it against Helena’s lips, “I love you.”

It had only taken a month for Helena to weasel her way into her heart.  Her heart had been so guarded for so long that she had never let anyone to far into it.  But Helena was on her way to those far-reaching places in Bette’s heart—the places that had been untouched since she was 9 years old.

Bette’s fingers found Helena’s center, moving in and out of her slowly and tenderly.  She watched her intensely as she pleased her.

“I won’t hurt you, Bette…” She whispered, breathlessly, “I love you and…” She groaned, “I will never leave you…” Helena’s whole body responded to Bette in the ways that she’d never responded to a woman before, “I’m not her, Bette…”

Helena moaned loudly as she came against Bette’s fingers.  Bette held her body steady, never moving her fingers.  Helena held her face close to her own, lightly kissing her mouth while attempting to catch her breath.

“If you leave me…” Bette started to say.  She decided to believe Helena, as hard as it was for her.  She needed Helena to know now that if she betrayed her, she would never forgive her for it.

“I won’t.  You don’t have to worry because I won’t.”