I have never looked behind the curtain at the webpages I read. I would have tried to explain their magical assimilation before my eyes as being the artistry of magazine layouts reconfigured through a code of zeros and ones, and that’s about as far I could speak on the topic before I went blank. So, naturally it never came up.  My first look at my special and secret window into this web world began with, ”Howdy!”

Ah! I get it, you need to know my name to speak back to me. What is my screen name? Right. Oh Jesus, everything coming to my mind is just utter, utter crap! Am I mentally vegetating already? In two weeks? Wait. I can do this. I’m actually very good with pictures and words. No animals, no flowers, no zodiacy-psychobabbly rehashed weirdness, but something about the Zodiac catches my attention. Symbols on the wheel, my mind flashes to a mandala of silken threads a thousand years old, then to an eight foot incredibly intricate and colorful sand mandala Tina and I had watched the monks blow back into dusk. So incredibly true, and it shook me when they did it right in front of me, just a few feet away.

Perhaps the reason that is motivating me to start this blog on women and babies is a touchstone back for a screen name for myself as I intend to ANON my way through this journey. Milk, specifically and undeniably, Tina’s breast milk is what has brought me here. Cloaked within all these posts I read and send out I hope is an understanding of what is happening to me. Why am I so enthralled with it?

Yesterday, the oddly arousing, vulnerable feelings that had washed over me made me witness another place where nothing about my strength can be registered. I had dropped my sword for those beautiful moments with my lover and I had changed.

Milkyway099 I type quickly into the box and hit Enter to begin my journey into the blogsphere.

TBC

The next story in the sequence is _Remembering Me_ a comical story where Bette imagines herself as a high diver as she tries to navigate a longed for sexual encounter with Tina.

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