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    Momma How Do You Know When….?” (3)

    Tina: No
    Tina looks over to Bette before proceeding
    Tina:  But at some point in our relationship I did go back to men.  But it wasn’t due to fear.
    Angelica:  You cheated on Mom?
    Holding Bette’s hand and gently squeezing it.
    Tina:  Yes and no.  Your Mom and I were going to a really rough time in our relationship.  And at first I was just playing around with the idea of being with a man again.  I though that it would be easier to be in a relationship with one and raise you.  It could have also been the hormonal thing that women go through after having children.  I’m human and I was always attracted to men.  I’m bisexual even though I have lived most of my adult life in lesbian relationship.  I love your mom so much.  Even in my stupidity I’ve always loved your mom.
    Bette:  We both been stupid.
    Angelica:  How so?
    Bette:  Well I knew what you mother was going through before she acted on it.   And I coldly released her to act on what she felt.  But I really didn’t want her too.  Emotionally at that time we weren’t there for one another.  I didn’t want the threat of her leaving me hanging over my head some I kind of opened the door for her to go.   No, I pushed her.  That was me being the control freak that I was.  That way I could control the amount of pain I was going through.  But prior to her going back to men…..  I cheated on her with another woman.
    Angelica: Wow.  And you two are still together.
    Tina:  Honey, no relationship is perfect.  Because no two people are.  There were times when we let the things around us dictate how we related to one another.  We both have grown over the years in ways that have helped us to be better partners for one another.  It’s sad to say but some of the largest growth happened when we weren’t together.  It made us appreciate what we had in one another.  It made us appreciate what we lost.  We hurt one another to the core of our being.
    Bette:  We were blessed to have another chance with one another.  A lot of people never get that chance.  We had hurt one another so badly.  It’s hard to believe that two people who love one another could inflict so much pain. Some times we looked at the things that were happening and thought how could they be doing this to me.  But in reality some times it isn’t about us but our own internal struggles.  But when we hurt, the one closest to us generally get hurt.

    Comments

    1. Yes, Tina and Bette are great parents and they have reared a beautiful and wonderfully intelligent daughter in Angelica. She has traits and characteristics from both of them and that makes for one fantastically beautiful, smart individual. Gread chapter. Loved it. Thanks for posting. PPS

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