Who are you? Look at yourself, what the ***** happened to daddys Golden Child?

Bette stared at herself in the mirror through the one eye that was unscathed by Tinas lashings. She looked pathetic, but she didnt care, she felt pathetic. As Bette tried to clean the scratches that spliced across her left eye to her jaw, carefully patting the blood instead of wiping it away–she didnt want to accidentally bump her already swollen lip–she contemplated the destruction that took place a mere few hours before. Bette was surprised by how calm she was reacting to Tina’s leaving and wondered where her emotions were. Her wife left, but she wasn’t able to able to cry or even feel the weight of the departure. Bette sighed and wondered if she was compartmentalizing Tina too, dealing with her the same way she dealt with any other problem.

Damn blood wont stop. Ouch, she really cut me deep. This is going to take awhile to heal. Maybe I should take a few days off from work, I could definitely use the time off.

What the *****? Youre concerned about a few scrapes after you successfully managed to drive Tina out of your life? ***** your face, Tina deserves more than to be disregarded like this!

Bette shook her head as if to purge the conflicting dialog that was plaguing her mind. She needed to focus, concentrate on how she would be able to live with herself, now that she systematically destroyed the one thing she treasured the most, her marriage to Tina.

Bette cleaned herself as best she could before tossing the blood stained towel in the sink; the rest would have to serve as a reminder of her betrayal.

Thats fine, I deserve it.

She shuffled into the kitchen, and without bothering to turn on any lights, she made an icepack for herself. She then returned to the bedroom and crawled under the sheets. The bed felt cold, uninviting and empty.

Empty, thats how I feel right now.

As the makeshift icepack rested delicately on the left side of Bettes face, she tried in vain to get some sleep before dawns light seeped through the blinds; a couple of hours remained before the cobalt blue skies turned to a bright cornflower hue.

As soon as she closed her good eye, the opposing voices picked up where they left off. It was as if different facets of her being were hashing out the turn of events themselves, while Bette sat in the audience forced to listen to the raucous debate. The Rational VS the Irrational, both were expressing valid points and opinions about everything that had lead up to this mess; the conversation was a discordant chorus over which she had no control.

God, What happened to me?

Okay, now is not the time for a pity party, you have to think, damn it. You need to talk to Tina.

She wont listen to me, who are you kidding?

Well, wallowing in self-loathing definitely wont accomplish anything, will it?

Im not wallowing. Im dealing with reality. She left. Remember? And her wedding ring is proof that shes gone for good.

Did Tina not mean anything to you? Doesnt she deserve more than what you have just put her through?

All the mental clamoring was defeating the purpose of lying in bed, but Bette was too tired to do anything else. And, her body had started to feel the effects from the fight earlier, when she briefly felt like a punching bag for Tinas flailing fists. As cold and empty as it felt, the bed is where she needed to stay.

Enough! Bette screamed out loud to silence the voices in her head for good, or at least for the next few hours.

Bette turned onto her left side, the icepack now nestled between the bed and her cheek; she then reached over to the nightstand where Tina left her wedding ring. There was hesitation in her movement before she picked it up and read the inscription: You are my air, my life, my love. Always. Bette had wanted to inscribe: You are the breath that keeps my soul alive. Ill love forever, but it was too long. So, she hoped the final inscription was enough to express how she couldnt live or breath without Tina by her side. Bettes eyes started to well up with tears as memories of what they used to share flooded her thoughts. She gently closed her fingers on top of Tinas ring, swearing to herself that she would never let it leave her sight. When she had placed the ring on Tinas finger four years before, she never imagined it would ever come off. But then, she never imagined she would question her love for her soul mate either, ultimately causing the destruction that occurred earlier.

What have I done? TT, I love you so much. Im so sorry I hurt you. Oh Tina…

Bette broke down finally for the first time since Tina quietly left the room. With not having once looked back at Bettes slumped body lying on the bed, Tina continued to walk out of the house, and finally out of the life they had shared for the last seven years, in abandoned silence.

Eventually, Bette started to feel too tired to process any more pain. As she rolled over onto her back, she pushed that last thought of doubt out of her head and concentrated on memories of their wedding. She wanted her mind to relive the most beautiful day of her life before it completely surrendered to sleep.