Fan Fiction
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neon
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“Are you going to get to bed?” I ask.
“Yeah.” She said it with a smile and starts towards the back of the apartment, where the bedroom was. She starts taking her clothes off, one article after the next and dropping them to the floor behind her, leaving them for me to pick them up.
I pick them up, rolling them into a ball in my hands and tossing them into her hamper. She slides under the sheets and smiles back at me.
I don’t hesitate to smile back. I sit beside her, like I always do, and hold my hand out to her. She clasps it between her fingers.
I wait forty minutes, just so I know she’s asleep. I leave out. The door closes behind me and I make sure it’s locked.
The drive home is a silent one. I don’t play the radio, not even to get the traffic report, these days. I park the car at the curb and run inside to escape the cold air.
I slide out of all the clothes over top of my pajamas and leave them in the living room. The house is still warm and, in the bedroom, Tina is still sound asleep.
I get into bed. Slowly, she rolls over onto me.
I caress her lower back.
I find it difficult to sleep.
Helena:
The next morning, the sun is blaring through my window. My hand is in the same position that it was when Bette left. My fingers are cradled, as if there was something that needed to be held there.
I make my way out of the bedroom, naked as the day I was born, and into the kitchen. I need something cold and wet to stop my throat from burning.
Cereal is good.
As I eat, I flip through channels. More about bailouts and economic crises.
This country is all about money, but money has never really mattered to me. Money doesn’t buy real happiness.
It does, however, pay for temporary happiness.
Temporary happiness in the form of illegal drugs.
I call a guy that only goes by Ricky. Ricky is a skinny, short, nerdy white kid, but there’s something in his eyes that tell me he’d murder me if I ever cross him.
I tell him that I want the assortment plate and, when he asks me what I want on it, I tell him to surprise me. I like surprises.
I shower and dress. Realizing it’s already two in the afternoon, I check my phone for text messages. I have one from Bette.
“Just checkin’ on you”, it read.
“I’m fine” I text back.
I pretend to hate it when she texts me, but I know what’s in my heart. My heart says that I love when she checks on me. Even though I’m not her girlfriend, I know that she loves me.
Ricky shows up promptly, like usual. I think that Ricky likes me. I see the way he looks at me. Sometimes, he even gives me drugs for free. I figure he’d like repayment—the sort of repayment that I’m not willing to give him.
He pulls a Ziploc bag from his pocket and hands it to me. I already have a bowl set out and I pour out the contents into the bowl.
“What are these things, Ricky?” I admire the colors and smile at Ricky.
“I don’t really know what they’re called, but this blue one will chill you out, this red one will get you pumped, this green one will make you numb, and this orange one has different effects on everyone.”
Though this isn’t the first time I’ve ever taken drugs that I didn’t know the name of, I’m aware that “different effects” is not something to take lightly.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you never know what it will make you do or see.”
Sounds like fun.
I escort him from the apartment and prepare myself to leave out too. My mother has a luncheon and I’m expected to make an appearance. In my purse, I set a blue pill. Under my tongue, I place the orange pill. I flick it over and swallow it.
Not quite prepared for the light of the day, I set out for my mother’s gallery.
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Helena is really living on the edge. What got her here? Does she live off her mother? I have to admit. I’m not liking her very much. Strange as this seems. Right now I’m rooting for the BB.
Hello My Beautiful Ash… you have always had such a gift at merging the ugliness of reality within the beauties… you take the darker seedier sides of life and you can show us that there are still glimmers of hope and love there… that is your gift, to show hope and beauty where desolation and decay exist… you my friend completely amaze me taking me from my very highs to my very lows and never wavering and never looking back… always and forever my love and hugs, JC (Latin Nephew to those Salsa Angels) PS – any chance at getting some “I Take All The Blame” PLEASE… I miss it so much Huggles…
I like understanding the story from the other’s perspective and like Squirl wood like to know how H got there…you know I’m a Belena chic but H is something else in this story, net-net MORE PLEASE…is that addict like behavior…smile!!! PPS
That was pretty disturbing. Helena’s quite the hedonist, dropping an orange one on the way to Mummie’s luncheon. At least she packed a blue one in case the orange isn’t pleasant. Hmmmm…I was never one much for pills, more of a natural woman, if you know what I mean. I therefore was never to be found passed out on the floor, I’m glad to say. Just as her money won’t buy her real happiness, I doubt if Helena’s pills will either. Hope she finds what she needs to accomplish that.
Ash once again you have me amazed at how well written this chapter was, how you have me intrigued with both women and how they still love one another and yet not together. I like how you have one of the doing drugs cause it’s nice to see the mind of a woman using this and why. And why Bette is actually with Tina and not cause of True Love, but cuase she needs teh stability Tina gives her. Great chapter Ash!!
Dangit! That’s the second time that’s happened to me today! Tried to leave a comment and it got sucked into some black cyberspace hole! Anyway…let me try again: Um, no, ash, I didn’t know you admired my writing (*blush*)…but I must tell you the feeling is mutual. You have such a beautiful construct here! And I love your words, like: “The next morning, the sun is blaring through my window. My hand is in the same position that it was when Bette left. My fingers are cradled, as if there was something that needed to be held there.”…And just, wow, everything! I’m really afraid of that orange pill though…really really afeared…but I also can’t wait to see what happens and the effect it’s going to induce. Please…hope you can update soon…I had to wait too long for this one! :) But thanks so much for your beautiful words! Hope you don’t mind a (((hug)))
I’m not to sure about this Helena. She scares me.I guess she is Bette’s drug of choice.Just maybe Peggy needs to find out what her daugther is up to. Because this girl need some serious help. Please post more when you are able. It’s a great story and you write it well!
Helena needs to get her act together. All this for the attention of some woman….geeez, talk about some serious self-esteem problems….maybe Helena didn’t get enough attention as a child. I can’t wait to see what affect that pill has on Helena at Peggy’s gallery. I know one thing if she ruin’s the luncheon she will probably wish she was dead instead of answering to Peggy.
This Helena is fun and exciting…and one BIG mystery. Now I don’t know who I’m supposed to be pulling for her, Bette & Helena, Bette & Tina or just for Helena to get her life together. I love the pull and hold that Helena seems to ahve over Bette. We all know that one person who owns our heart in good times and bad that we would bend over backwards for…..and even risk an existing relationship for. PPS! I’m hooked; I guess this story is my addiction (LOL).
Ash, you’ve got me. I love how you depict this story with such emotion and truth. I loved how Bette waited for Helena to fall asleep before leaving. I love the style you have decided to use with this story. It’s so amazing. You’ve got such amazing talent, babe! (: Can’t wait for your next post. Can’t wait. (:
Aw thank you for your sweet words Ash, you really touched me.As for your story I like it very much; like all the rest you have writen but I guess you already knew that right :)Seems like Helena has some serious issues and I truly hope she can work them out or that Bette will be able to put her into rehab or something. Just like Z I’m really scared what effect this orange pill is going to on her. Can’t wait to find out, PPS