CHAPTER 106

Instead of getting the subway to the club where Roger was performing at, Bette hailed a cab and they arrived at the very gaudy looking club 15 minutes before the first act was due to start. Bette looked over at Tina as they made their way through the club to find a table – the club was half full so it wasn’t hard to find a quiet table where they could see the show and they could still hear themselves talking. Bette removed her jacket to reveal the black trousers and black sweater – she looked lovely as always thought Tina.
“Would you like wine or beer ?”
“Beer I think “
“Won’t be a minute “ Bette lent forward and kissed Tina on the lips “ Shall I see if I can get us some lamb sandwiches ?”
“Don’t go there “ Tina warned chuckling “ I hope the cat likes it because I am not sure if Angie does – mind you dad loves it so he will eat everything that we don’t “
“You need to talk to your mom tomorrow “ Bette said “ You two need to have a grown up relationship – you are not a child anymore “
Tina nodded – Bette had been saying this for weeks and Tina had resisted only because she didn’t want any sort of argument that would damage the fragile relationship between her and her parents. But when she had been barred from her own kitchen she had realised that she did have to say something – and she bloody hated lamb. So before Bette had arrived home and taken quiet control of the situation Tina had been faced with having to eat a meal that she had avoided for over 20 years – one that she had always hated when she had been forced to eat it at home. Her mother had always been the “ you must clear your plate “ type of mom- one that Tina had been very determined not to be for Angie. Tina was lost in her thoughts while she watched Bette walk over to the bar – immediately a tall blonde started to talk to Bette Tina wondered how Bette would deal with this being a gay club – granted it was for gay men and women -all the same – there was bound to be an atmosphere that Bette won’t have faced for a long number of years. Tina watched as Bette spoke to the woman and the blonde nodded and walked away – Bette had succeeded in shaking off the first piece of attention – it was unlikely to be the last she would receive. Bette returned with a bottle of beer and a glass for Tina and a light brown liquid in a glass. In the old days that would be scotch – now it was most likely to be ginger ale only.
Bette sat down and faced Tina “I gave my card to the blonde who was giving me the come on “
“What ?”
“He was one of the acts” Bette explained
“Oh God – I really need to get my eyes tested – I was sure it was a woman “
“He is a stunningly good looking woman “ Bette said “Is Roger equally stunning ?”
“Yes – I always enjoyed watching him – he’s got a good routine and he is funny. He is a good man “
“So you keep telling me “ Bette said as she looked around the room. Tina smiled
“You are people watching “ Tina said
“I am – this is a good vantage point “
“We always used to enjoy people watching – I remember sitting on the wall leading down to the beach with you – it must be one of our first dates – we drank beer, ate potato crisps and we just watched people and talked about what we were seeing. You were setting up my gay-dar “
“It was well established – just needed some tuning. “
“We never really got to just sit and watch the world going by as much as we wanted to. You used to attract a crowd which rather takes away the whole circumstances you need to do some people watching”
Bette smiled “Yeah – well – no one is going to take any notice of us here – we can watch the show and the audience”
“Bette”
“Yes sexy “
“What did you say to mom – she didn’t seem too hurt “
“Well it didn’t help that she told me to get out of her kitchen”
“Ouch “
“Exactly – I just made the point that you didn’t like lamb and it was maybe because it reminded you of pre-Thanksgiving dinners at home. I don’t think she genuinely had thought about what she was doing. She is desperate to get things back to the way they were a so and she just needed someone to say to her that things can never be the way they were – you didn’t have the most healthy family relationship by the sound of things – mind you it my step brother in law who is about to come on the stage in drag – so I am not one to lecture on normal families”
“Our family is okay though – you and me and Angie – we are doing okay “
“We are – we are a good family unit – unconventional but it works and you can tell that is works because we have a very happy and sure of herself daughter”
“Far too sure of herself – she will run rings round mom and dad”
“Yeah “ Bette picked her glass up and chuckled “I know – did you tell her to behave before you left ?”
Tina smiled “I might have forgotten “
“Ah – so that will be her first line of defence “
“Tina “
“Yeah “
“While we are talking about your folks”
“Yes “
“They have to let go of the past – you all do. I don’t know about you babe but “ Bette sighed “ I am just worn out by the always talking about what happened. I know you cannot totally forget what happened and it is going to colour a lot of what happens but in the end Tina – you have to go forward – we have to drag them into the present day”
Tina didn’t speak for a few minutes – she sipped her beer and looked around the club. Finally she looked at Bette
“Yeah – yeah I know “
“It will be for the best for everyone in the long run “
Tina put her bottle of beer down and looked at Bette. What she knew – what had been apparent from their first reunion after Kit’s wedding- what was obvious was how much calmer Bette was. She was at peace with herself after years of struggling. It was that inner peace that made her so much more at ease with the rest of the world
“A few weeks ago you said you didn’t like how they always go on about if only I had told them I was gay”
“I did “ Bette said sipping her ginger ale
“I flipped at you” – it was a statement rather than a question
“You got upset “
“You were right it is bugging me. I couldn’t have told them I was gay because I couldn’t even say it to myself in my head. It would have been impossible for me to articulate it.. It took meeting you to make me face the truth “
“Are you saying I turned you gay ?” Bette smiled
Tina blushed and shook her head “That is NOT what I am saying “
“Sounds like it to me – I think need to be getting a tee-shirt – “I turned Tina Kennard gay” Bette was grinning like the Cheshire Cat “ I might get a double deal on one for you “I went gay for Bette Porter – mind you back in the day that might have been a best seller”
Tina smiled at Bette’s humour – okay so that was funny
“What I MEANT “
“What you SAID was that I turned you gay “
“Big head “
“I have a lot to be big headed about “
“What I meant was how could I tell them I was gay when I didn’t know fully for myself- I couldn’t have faced it if someone had come up to me and said – do you know you are a lesbian ?”
Bette took Tina’s hand “I know – I was trying to make you laugh which seemed to work. I know how tough you found it when we got together – we had a really old fashioned courtship because you wouldn’t have wanted me to jump you – even though I wanted to so much because you just turned me on so much. We took our time and it was totally worth it “
Tina kissed Bette on the lips “Utterly worth it “
“It feels – to me at least that they have jumped on you being gay as an explanation for the whole mess. Its not and you have carried the burden of this for too long. You didn’t do anything other than make the wrong contraception decision when you were a teenager”
“Thanks – thanks for being probably the only person whose ever understood all of this – I do regret not telling you all of this before “
“Water under the bridge – you didn’t for your own reasons – end of story – we move forward – we do not look back. We just have to get your parents to the same place”