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No Me Ames; #09
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“That would be great,” Bette replied optimistically.
I leaned over to kiss Bette on the cheek; maybe there was hope yet.
◊◊◊
After work on Thursday evening, Bette and I headed for our first group therapy session.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked, wrapping my arms protectively around her waist.
“I do,” she whispered, “I want to deal with this, and I love you. For everything you’ve done for me for the past couple of months, I owe you and myself this chance. I don’t ever want to have another episode like that again…”
I saw the sincerity glowing through her slightly teary eyes.
I knew how hard it was for her to feel vulnerable; I knew how hard it was for her to look so calm on the outside, when she was really panicking and falling apart on the inside. That was a part she only revealed to me. To everyone else, she was the strong alpha-female ready to take on the world.
“I love you,” I murmured into her ear, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” she replied, smiling at me and kissing my nose, “Come on, let’s go in.”
Walking into the room was daunting, but with Bette’s arm around me, I felt safe.
“Something to drink maybe?” I asked.
“Ok,” she replied, trying to hide her nervousness.
We slowly made our way over to the refreshment table as we watched people mingling around the room. I took a slow sip of the juice that was being served and scrunched up my face at its rather artificial taste; I made a mental note to bring my own bottle of water in the future.
“I know,” someone from beside me said, obviously noticing my reaction to the drink, “It tastes horrible, doesn’t it? I don’t know why no one says anything about it.”
I turned around and found myself looking into a pair of kind ebony eyes; I laughed, “It’s just tastes rather…”
“It’s just bad, I assure you. There are no other words to describe it,” the stranger confessed, laughing as well; I found myself drawn to her rather jovial personality.
“Oh, forgive my manners, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Helena Peabody and this is my wife, Bette Porter,” I said, turning slightly to introduce Bette.
“Lovely to meet you,” the stranger replied, smiling at the both of us and moving to hold the hand of a woman who was standing a few feet away from her, “This is my partner, Leisha Elliot, and my name is Tasha. Tasha Williams.”
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E what a great surprise to see that Bette decided to go for therapy that is a great start, and let’s hope that she takes it to heart for herself,Helena and the baby to come!!
Hello My Beautiful Dragonfly… you have such a daft way with your dialog… you infuse so much emotion… so much soul into the words that these ladies are sharing with one another that it feels to real… so authentic… like being a fly on the wall… I have a feeling that all of this talk about ‘Intimacy’ is going to be a boiling point for some… Helena is in a unique position of not only having to live with a partner who holds certain fears about being intimate… but also the continued rise in hormones that will make it harder and harder for her to deny her needs and desires for fulfillment… some woman are strong enough to avoid temptation and I hope she is one but with so much going on and Bette’s destructive emotional states it will be a lot harder for her to control and not look elsewhere … you my most amazing cuzzie are crafting a story of intensity and sensitivity… your respect for the finer details and the need to tell stories that continue to push and force people to think and evaluate their own lives is such a strong one… I am honored to be here taking this journey with you… from you… love and hugs, Always and Forever, JC (Latin Nephew to those Salsa Angels and your ever loving Cuzzie)
I’m excited to see that Tasha is joining the story. I wondered who would become Bette’s confidant in the group setting. I just hope Bette’s eyes doesn’t start to wander other group members who have HIV as a means of coping with her own fear. Can’t wait to see where you take us!
Bette and Helena’s doctor sound familor. Are you perhaps a fan of Bones? Please don’t let Helena wander to the arms of Tasha. There was just something in the way Helena noticed her eyes that made me think this is a possibility. I just don’t think I can take the cliche cheating route.
Refresh… LOL… Huggles… JC
Once again you draw people closer with your story line. By people reading this story, they might get a better understanding of this disease.
I apologise for not replying sooner. Helena and Bette are not a couple I usually would read, could see together, but you have made it so.You have created characters, based on traits from the series that just work here. A pain that just doesn’t go away (I have a friend with HIV, and it’s difficult for him to know where to draw the line with physical contact.) It feels real, the characters, situations and feeling – and I am enjoying your world. Thank you.
Glad to see Bette is open for this therapy thing and hopefully she will get the useful information she needs to deal with this desease. Still wished she would go for a second opinion thoough, I can’t shake the feeling the hospital messed up the bloodresults.
Wonderful post as usual, physical intamcy is so hard. Where do you draw the line? Just saying the words, “I am HIV positive”, to someone you want to get close to is scary. The rest is just downright overwhelming. Belena, your comment on a mix up with blood results, is normal…everyone who has that diagnosis, feels the same way. I work in a Lab, and false positives can happen. But, they followed it up with a battery of tests, that would confirm your worst fear of an accurate diagnosis. Euni, is taking most of us in a world that is not visible unless you go through it yourself or with someone. I thank her from the bottom of my heart for this. PPS… :)
I have a lot of catching up to do. I’ll post a real comment later.
Great chapter! I’m happy to see that Bette is willing to take this chance. It’s a big step for her. She may not be ready to totally open up, but she’s willing to listen to others who are dealing with this disease. Everyone needs a safe place to voice, as well as be heard by people who will not judge them so harshly. Understanding is the key issue here. And it’s hard for some to understand if they have not walked in your shoes. I’m also happy to see Tasha in your story. I just wished it was in a better situation.
nice chap.So theres so much going on now im glad they are in therapy together.
Thank you for infusing some light humor into this chapter, euni…I really enjoyed Bette’s initial reaction to Dr. Sweets…and wasn’t really in the mood personally for too much heart-clutching, tear-inspiring depth. Guess I better gird myself before your next update. I’ll armor up…PPS!
Love how you keep bring a member of the gang into this. As long as Bette can listen to what other will say,but knowing Nette she will go over each little thing and them she will know more. this much be hard on you to write but I like how well you are doing. thanks
We are glad that Bette changed her mind about attending HIV grup’s therapy. It will be helpful for her and Helena, as they will also have the feedback from other couples, who are having the same problems they are facing. Can’t wait for your next update, sweetie. You are doing such an extraordinary job here. PPS Hugs and kisses on both your cheeks.- Lucero & Marsha (Proud Salsa Aunties to the ever loving JC and Eunichick)