Candace, you were amazing last night, Bette said drowsily with her arm draped over Candaces stomach. They were both still lying in bed, reluctant to start the day. And I cant tell you how long it has been since Ive had some of that. Bette pointed to Candaces toy that had been set aside on the nightstand.

What? Candace, wide awake now, seemed perplexed. You didnt use one with Tina? But you like it so much.

Well, Tina liked things very gentle, Bette said and then lowered her eyes as she remembered their last night together. Mostly.

I can be gentle, Candace whispered in Bettes ear.

I know but youre also full of surprises.

***

So, what did you think of this one? Bette asked. She was standing with Candace outside of a Spanish style red stucco house. The broker who had driven them around all morning was still inside talking to the owner of the rental.

Well, its a lot bigger than the last one, but its so much more expensive than anything else youve seen, Candace squinting in the bright sunlight.

Hmmm yeah, but I think Im going to take it. I like the layout and I need the closet space.

Ok, well, the good thing is that the owner said you can move in right away. So you wont have to pay for that hotel room anymore.

I thought you liked the hotel room, Bette pulled at Candaces belt loop. I figured it made you feel illicit.

I dont need bad girl fantasies for me to get turned on by you, Candace said coyly.

Is that so? Bette said before giving Candace a big kiss. Im going to go inside and tell them Im taking it. I want to move in the week after next.

Why the wait?

Im going to see my mom next week. On the east coast, Bette said noticing the puzzlement in Candaces eyes. I meant to tell you, but there theres been so much going on.

Hey, whatever, Candace looked over at Bettes soon to be new house. Your mom will certainly be very happy.

***

They both stood in the parking lot of the hotel unable to figure out what they should say to each other. Ill call you when I get to my moms, Bette finally broke the silence.

You know you can park the car and leave your stuff at my place, Candace offered.

Thank you, but I already have the car service coming to pick me up at Kits in an hour.

They embraced for a long slow kiss. Bette gripped Candace tightly to her as if trying to leave her imprint for Candace to remember while she was gone.

I have to go, she finally pulled away. Youll see. By the time I get back, Yolanda will have convinced you to steer clear of me. Bette teased half heartedly.

She would have to lock me away for that to happen, Candace lingered on holding Bettes hand.

Finally, Bette got in her car and pulled out. As she drove off, she watched in the rearview as Candace walked away.

***

Bette arrived in Newark early in the morning after taking the red eye. She rented a car and drove straight out to New Hope, Pennsylvania on the border with NJ. When she was just outside of New Hope, she stopped at a local bakery to pick up some pastries for her mother. Heading back to the car with a small cardboard box tied in string, Bette marveled at the flowers in bloom. In L.A., she hardly ever noticed the seasons anymore. She breathed in the fresh air and she realized how spring makes you feel hopeful about the new beginnings blossoming in front of you.

Bette drove on to her mothers and when she pulled in to the driveway, she saw her mother standing outside reaching into the mailbox.

Hi mom, Bette said as stepped out of the car and into her mothers outstretched arms. They gave each other a long hug before Theresa backed up to survey her daughter.

Honey, you are so thin. Dont you eat?

I live in LA, mom. Everybody is thin. Bette pulled out her bags and handed the box of pastries to her mother.

Oh, you shouldnt have, Theresa put her arm around Bette and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Its so good to see you.

Inside the small house, Bette sat at the kitchen table while her mom made them coffee. Theresa moved slowly around the kitchen setting out cups, saucers, a creamer and plates. Bette could see she was enjoying making mid-morning coffee into an event.

Bette noticed that her mom looked much less tired now that the chemo had ended. Her hair had grown back to shoulder length and was cut in a fashionable bob. She wasnt coloring it anymore. Bette had heard her mom often complain of the indignity of seeing her hair fall out, so probably now being gray wasnt such a big deal.

Are you tired, honey? Did you sleep on the plane?

I had plenty of miles so I took first class. It was so comfortable, I slept the whole way.

Bettes cell phone rang. When she answered it, she spoke only briefly to the Philadelphia gallery owner who called. They scheduled a lunch meeting for the next day and Bette tapped it into her Palm while she was talking. After she said goodbye, she snapped her phone shut and looked over at her mom.

Who was that? Bettes mom asked.

Oh, a gallery owner Im meeting for lunch tomorrow in Philly. She has some hot new artists work she wants me to take a look at.

Theresa had set the pot of coffee down on the table and was now lowering herself stiffly into a chair across from Bette. They both helped themselves to a pastry and started eating.

Honey, I thought you came out here to rest. I figured you were a wreck after all thats happened.

Mom! Bette said choking on her pastry.

Well, I was shocked when you told me that you and Tina were separated. And then you said you were coming out here so soon afterwards. I just assumed you must be really heartbroken that you wanted to see you mother.

Bette frowned and pushed the spoon around in her coffee. We didnt separate, mom, I left.

Oh? Theresa said. Did you try to work it out?

We were in therapy, but honestly that seemed to make things worse between us. For me at least. Bette suddenly straightened up in her chair defensively. I really dont want to talk about it. I came out here to see you. Not to cry on your shoulder.

***

Later that night, Bette sat outside on her mothers back porch and called Candace on her cell phone.

Im wide awake while the rest of this town is knocked out. My mom was trying to get me to go to sleep since I got here. She even made up the guest bed for me to take a nap. Im 38. I havent napped since I was in 4th grade. Bette told Candace. Anyway, I refuse to get on this time zone and then be all messed up when I go back.

You can sneak up to NYC. The city never sleeps, Candace suggested with a laugh.

Im going to go up the night before I fly back. Bette mused. Im meeting with so many artists that Ill be able to write this whole trip off.

Hey, dont let your mom hear you. She might have thought you were visiting her.

Bette leaned her head back and looked up at the stars. Yeah, well she already said she thinks Im here to get over Tina. You know, cry on her shoulder.

Candace was serious now as she asked Bette, Arent you?

No, Bette shot back. She stood up and walked into the back yard away from the house. Im here for my mom. Shes the one who just finished chemo. The last thing she needs is me dumping on her.

But maybe you should let her feel needed. She probably wants that. You can let her feel like she can take care of you a little. Mothering you.

Bette stopped walking and kicked at the little weeds that were sprouting up from the ground.

I know. Youre right. Im sorry I got defensive, Bette said. Then she turned around to face the little house her mom had purchased right after she and Melvin had divorced. The thing is, she and I just dont have that kind of relationship.