“Hey, baby sis… everything is okay?”

The gentle voice of her sister standing in the doorframe of her bedroom took off Bette of her trance.

“Yes everything is just fine.”

Kit saw the screen of the computer opened and smiled

“Missing someone?”

          Bette smiled too, but Kit could notice that it was a sad smile, almost for an obligation.

           “Maybe”

“Are you back together?”

“It’s complicated.”  answered Bette in a polite tone, but clearly indicating that that line of conversation was over. How could I explain her the problems we are having despite of our history together and that we love each other? Or that my best friend is in love with me and I’m involved with her? Once more Bette was startled by Kit’s voice.

“Ah the distance must be very hard.”

“There are things harder than the distance.”

“Ya know, baby sis I’m much better now and David can help me, you should think about go back to Los Angeles. You are here for almost three months now.”

            That was a tempting proposition. Bette wasn’t used anymore to the life in New York. She had just a few friends from the time she had lived there a few years ago and felt lonely. Her job there was boring and without any perspective. Her professional career was in Los Angeles. And to make the things worse her heart was divided between Los Angeles and San Francisco, or to be more exact between two ladies living in those cities.  But she has a compromise there in New York. Family was always important to her and Kit wasn’t yet completely recuperated from her stroke.

“That’s not the case, Kit. I will be staying here as long as you need me, I don’t trust David, he’s just a spoiled young he can’t think in anything beside to enjoy the money, let alone to take care of everything during your convalescence.”

“Okay, but if you need to go, we can think about something.”

“Thanks.”

“I should be the one to thank you, for being here”  and kissing Bette’s forehead “God night try to get some sleep.”

“Good night.”

           Bette turned again to the blank screen, and reopened the emails she was trying to write. She hated that kind of personal communication, because it always have given her time and chance to change the text, allowing her to censor herself and not being clear about her feelings. But she couldn’t try the instant message right now. She always had the sensation she ended explaining much more than she wanted while talking with her on instant messages and she couldn’t bear to talk about something she couldn’t understand. How in the hell, could I make this mess with my life? Fuck. Bette leaned over the back of the chair and closed her eyes thinking about the two women in her life. How can I love both of them? Is it love, isn’t it? She could help to notice the difference between the two relationships and their respective women, and was surprised to admit that with all the differences, in the end, both of them expected the same of her and she wasn’t ready to give it, just because the existence of the other. Bette took a deep breath and sighed. Then she reopened her eyes and read the emails once more, even she has already memorized them for having read them a dozen of times before

           “Hey sweetie. I miss you. Of course I want to work out our relationship. Give me a call and we can discuss the details of your trip. Can’t wait to have you here with me. Love you.”

         ”Hey lady I know you are upset and I think we should talk. You are the best thing that happened in my life lately. I don’t want loose you. See ya.”