‘Goodnight Carmen,’ Jenny said and she took a drag from her cigarette. ‘G’night,’ Carmen responded as she walked out the livingroom, ‘see you tomorrow!’ And again Carmen thought back at something her mother once said. ‘You can’t love someone without loving yourself first.‘ If that was true, Shane must be really scared. Could Shane ever love herself? Cause Shane was the most selfless person Carmen knew, as long as everybody around her was happy, she was too. But underneath her confidence, her cool and sexy attitude, there lay many insecurities. From the first day they’d met, Carmen had seen that. She had noticed how she could slowly take the wall around her down. The wall Shane had built up around her over the years, every brick made of another bad experience. She had noticed how Shane became more real and more herself, the more time they spent together. Something deep inside Shane had been waiting for her, had needed her. Her freedom wasn’t protecting her anymore. She had needed to become a real person with a real life. And Shane had known that only Carmen could help her with that.

Carmen slowly opened the door to Shane’s bedroom. The door let out a soft shriek but Shane wasn’t woken up by it. She was lying in bed on her stomach, sleeping. Her arms were winded around the pillow above her and her head rested on a magazine. She had fallen asleep reading. Carmen switched off the lights and took of her clothes. When she was naked she sat down on Shane’s bed, quietly watching her. ‘God, I really love watching her sleep,’ Carmen thought and she carefully reached her hand out to Shane, brushing some strands of dark brown hair out of her face. Carmen felt so grateful at that moment. Shane had given up so many things for her, the only things she had believed in for years. But she had thrown away her fears and taken a great step, just to be with Carmen.

Shane furrowed her brows in her sleep, her hand coming up towards her face. When she felt Carmen’s hand which was resting on her cheek she slowly opened her eyes. ‘Hey baby..’ Carmen whispered sweetly and she snuggled close next to Shane. Shane eyes widened and she looked around for a moment, as if she didn’t know where she was. ‘It’s me,’ Carmen said as she ran her fingers softly over Shane’s shoulder. ‘Wha.. what are you doing here?’ Shane stumbled as she turned around and sat up, her hands rubbing in her eyes. Carmen sighed and closed her eyes as she rested her head on the pillow next to Shane. Shane watched her patiently and pulled the covers over the latina’s naked body. She smiled. She had no idea why Carmen had come over after all but she was very happy she had. Carmen took Shane’s wrist and pulled her down on top of her. Shane rested her head in Carmen’s neck, her fingers stroking over Carmen’s stretched out arm next to them on the sheets. ‘You’re not gonna tell me?’ Shane whispered. She lifted her head up from Carmen’s neck and watched her. When Carmen still didn’t answer her, Shane could sense something was wrong. Carmen hadn’t been chattering like she normally could for the whole day, but by the way she chewed her bottomlip and her eyes were pinched close Shane could tell she wasn’t just thinking about something now. She was worrying about something.