Bette.

Tina closed the door behind Bettes retreating figure allowing her body to rest momentarily against it for some much needed support.

Bette she whispered again as she finally pushed herself off of her support and made her way to the living room.

Choosing the chair that offered her body the most comfort, she fell into it, propping her feet up onto the coffee table and leaning back, thought back on the day that had just taken place.

Bette she heard once again as that seemed to be all that her mind would allow to escape from her lips.

She reached up, placing her fingers against her lips and felt the soreness that was present. She and Bette had at first been gentle with one another, but that had quickly disappeared to be replaced with a passion that had not consumed either of them in a very long time.

She moved her fingers from her lips to her nose, resting them there and inhaling deeply.

Bette she whispered again as a slow moving tear began its descent down her cheek.

What just happened here? she asked the room, looking around to see if there was any tell tale evidence of what had started their passionate love making that had lasted for the balance of the afternoon.

As she looked around though, she knew that there were no tell tale signs here to be found. The evidence was contained deeply in both of their souls.

How does this happen? she asked in wonderment. The first time that we are alone together in private we are ripping each others clothes off?

What have I done? she softly asked as she thought back on their day.

Im ready she had told Bette as she opened the door to her apartment. Bette had looked absolutely stunning in her low rise jeans and top that left some of her cleavage available for viewing.

Feeling her pulse increase merely from the sight of Bette before her, she thought to herself, This is going to be a long day.

Tina had been mildly surprised at Bettes interest into what was going on in her life, not getting too personal, but asking all of the right questions about work and her health.

She had found herself questioning Bette on what was happening with her, very curious to hear her answers.

It had been a delicate balance as Tina knew that her personal life, as did Bettes professional, included Helena. That being said, Tina tried to walk delicately through the myriad of possible topics.

Here we are she heard Bette say as the car came to a stop.

Tina had immediately felt a rush of apprehension at being at Dr. Wilsons with Bette, but if Bette noticed, Tina didn’t pick up on it.

Opting to not change, they waited in the examining room for Dr. Wilson. Conversation was kept to a minimum as she watched Bette trying to figure out the best place to be. She could see the wheels turning in Bettes head as she looked around, uneasy in her lack of knowledge as to where Tina wanted her.

Why dont you pull a chair over here so that you can see the monitor? she asked Bette.

She remembered clearly the pang of sadness that struck her heart at the expression of gratitude that she had received from Bette. The sorrow that she felt at Bettes fear of doing the wrong thing, of her being so overly concerned of not crossing the imaginary line that the two of them had established, saddened her to a level that she had to date, not experienced.

As Bette sat down next to her, she was surprised at the calmness that had descended upon her body. The agitation and nervousness had all but dissipated in just having Bette near her again.

Bette she heard her mind speak as she rested her head against the back of the chair, needing something to drink, but her body unwilling to let her get it.

Is that our baby? she heard Bette say.

Thats your baby confirmed Dr. Wilson.

Tina remembered looking over at her at that moment and her heart felt something for Bette that it had not in what seemed like forever. Love.

The expression on Bettes face had been one of wonderment, something that you would expect from a school child as they watched their first kite in flight, as they saw their first flower grow, first sun set and first moon rise. Pure awe and amazement.

And she loved it. She loved seeing the joy on Bettes face as she realized that they were in fact about to bring a new creature into the world. Not just any creature, but their daughter.

She turned away from Bette, returning her gaze to the monitor because it was simply too much. She was not ready for this. She was not ready to have these kinds of feelings for Bette again. I mean, how could she?

How could I? she wondered aloud to her empty apartment.

Pushing herself up from the chair, she made her way back to the kitchen where she reached for the bottle of Pellegrino that Bette had just placed in the refrigerator only hours ago.

Removing the top, she poured herself a glass and took it outside to her terrace.

***** she thought as she looked at the clock on the wall as she passed by.

Helena is going to be here soon.

She sat down in one of the chairs surrounding her patio table. Thinking back to when she had lived at the house, she knew that whenever she had needed to really think, she had always gone outside, dangled her feet in the pool, just to be near her garden. This wasnt the same, but at times, it would serve as her own substitute.

The steady sound of the wind chimes carried her back to the exam room with Bette.

She held my hand she whispered as she looked down at her left hand, somehow willing it to be within Bettes once again.

It was as if Bette had needed some kind of physical connection with her at this point, some form of grounding, to allow her to accept the fact that yes, they were actually about to do this really wonderful and enormous thing. They were going to bring their baby girl into the world.

And I wanted to feel that from her she said to her garden. I wanted to feel Bette there with me because as much as I was giving her at that moment, she was giving it right back.

And before they knew it, the sonogram was over.

They scheduled Tinas next appointment and silently made their way back to Bettes car.

Getting Tina strapped in, she watched Bette walk around to the drivers side of the car. She could not help but wonder what was going through her mind at this point in time, but did not really feel it was appropriate to ask.

But she didnt want it to end. This time with Bette.

Is there anything else that you need while we are out? Groceries, anything?

Actually, there are a couple of things that I need if you dont mind stopping she remembered answering.

She thought back to how thoughtful Bette had been, carrying the basket, walking down the long aisles to save her the trip. The thought of it still made her smile as she had had to point out a number of times exactly where something was, Bettes lack of supermarket lay-out never more evident.

Would you like some help with the groceries? I could help you put them away if you liked? she remembered hearing as they pulled into the parking lot of her apartment building.

That would be great she smiled.

Working together in the kitchen, she had silently handed Bette items to be put into the refrigerator. She marveled at their ability to still communicate so wordlessly, nothing needed between the two of them except occasional glances or gestures.

Thank you she remembered saying. For being there today she explained.

She said more but all she remembered was the expression on Bettes face. The look of absolute gratitude mixed with fear and apprehension that was so evident on her face, was enough to make her weep.

Bette had thanked her as well, but all Tina could remember was an overwhelming need to hold her, to make everything alright, if just for a brief moment.

Come here she whispered.

And she did.

She closed the door to the refrigerator and tentatively walked over to her.

The walk seemed to take forever as she watched Bette move towards her.

All she wanted to do was to take some of the pain away. It was not until today that she really understood what it was that Bette had been going through. She had not seen her pain, had not been allowed to see her pain, she didnt know which. But what she did know was that she wanted to take some of it away.

She pulled her into her arms and immediately felt Bettes lack of return of her embrace. Pulling her in tighter, she felt Bette begin to respond slightly. She remembered holding her tighter, willing her to let go, to just give in for whatever period of time they were given.

You feel so good she heard Bette say.

You smell so good she remembered herself saying.

She didnt remember the exact time that she realized that this was going to go further than just a hug, but as she pulled back from Bette, she knew that her body was not going to be able to let Bette go. Not at least until it got more from her. It had been too long to accept just the gesture of this hug. There was a hunger present for Bette and Tina knew that there was nothing that she was able to do to stop it.

She looked into Bettes eyes and knew that Bette knew it, knew that Bette saw it reflected in her own eyes. She had never been able to mask her desire for Bette that always made its presence known in her eyes, and this time was no different.

She ran her finger across Bettes bottom lip and knew that she could wait no longer. Pulling Bette in for this kiss had felt as natural as the simple act of breathing. The moment that their lips had made contact, the aching that had become so prevalent between her legs, had permeated her entire being.

She could not get enough of her.

She didnt want to get enough of her.

She didnt want it to stop.

Bette she said again as she looked at the miniature version of her garden before her, rubbing her eyes in disbelief that all of this had actually happened.

Tina took a deep breath, placing her hand on her belly, softly rubbing it in memory of Bettes lips that had been there just hours ago.

Touch me she remembered saying, her mind swirling from all of the sensations that making love to Bette caused.

Touch me she repeated as she took Bettes hand and guided it into her pants, down inside of her underwear, so that Bette could feel what she knew had been present for most of their time spent together that day.

She remembered grabbing Bette by the back of the neck as she felt her slender fingers entering her wet and swollen folds.

Oh my God she heard Bette say.

Oh my ***** God she repeated.

Is this ok? she heard Bette whimper.

But she knew that she had no words for her question, only action.

She grabbed Bettes head by placing both hands on either side of her face and clamped her lips down onto Bettes, thrusting her tongue as deeply into her mouth as she could reach.

Pushing them both down onto the bed, she remembered riding Bettes hand as she continued to devour her mouth. She felt her ***** come on almost immediately and needing to see Bette, she lifted herself up by her arms as her hips continued to thrust down onto her hand.

She remembered Bette finally looking up at her, eyes making contact and looking directly into Bettes soul, she allowed her ***** to overtake her body.

Bette she remembered saying just before her ***** began, as she felt Bette thrusting into her, not letting up, knowing her body as well as she did, pulling all of this ***** out of her.

Bette she whispered as her eyes closed in exhaustion and she allowed herself to fall down onto Bettes body, head resting on Bettes shoulder.

Tina took a sip of her sparkling water and tried to regain the steadiness of her breathing as the mere memory of making love to Bette had set her body on fire once again.

Closing her eyes, she felt the sun shining down on her face and thought about how good it felt.

Lifting her fingers once again to her nose, she inhaled the fragrance of Bette that she knew she would never forget. She may have been with only one other woman since Bette, but she knew that no other woman would ever smell as good as Bette, feel as good as Bette, taste as good as Bette, and make her center throb at just the memory of her scent like Bette did to her.

With her eyes still closed, she thought back.

Tina?

Hmmm?

I have to go.

She had known that there would be a time that Bette would need to leave, but she wasnt ready for it. She had allowed herself to believe that they could remain like this for some indeterminable period of time, neither leaving, just residing in the safety of this nest that they had made for themselves.

Ok she said, reluctantly rolling off of Bettes body to allow her get up and get dressed.

She made her way to the bathroom to find her robe. When she came back into the bedroom, Bette was pulling on her jeans.

As she leaned against the door frame of the bathroom, she watched Bette look around the room for her other articles of clothing. She had put her bra on but had yet to find her shirt.

Seeing it under the corner of the bed, she watched Bette as she lunged for it, nervously putting on what Tina knew she had taken off of her only hours ago.

The lack of eye contact from Bette was not lost on her. She had no idea what was going through her mind, and she found that somewhat unsettling.

My jacket? she heard.

Kitchen I believe she remembered answering.

Right Bette agreed as she headed in that direction.

She pushed herself off of the door frame and followed Bette. She watched her retrieve her jacket, quickly throwing it on and then followed the quick search of her keys.

Well she heard Bette say as she continued to watch her in puzzlement.

Bette she called out as she brushed past her on her way to the front door.

She had wanted to tell her that it was ok, that everything was going to be ok, but that is not what came out of her mouth.

Lets not let this change anything between us, ok?

The expression that had been on Bettes face as she promised her that she would not let things change between them, did not convince Tina.

We were doing so well she said.

The look of fear and destruction on Bettes face that had been absent for the last couple of hours, had returned, and it broke her heart.

Why did I say that? she asked her empty garden in frustration.

Tina stood up to go back inside.

Once there, she placed her water glass in the kitchen sink and headed back towards her bedroom.

Sitting on the side of her bed, she reached for the pillow that Bette’s head had rested on. She pulled it into her body and inhaled deeply.

Bette she whispered and felt the tears begin in earnest.

After a moment, she laid the pillow down onto her lap as she reached for the phone.

Bettes cell went directly into voicemail and so she tried their home number.

This is Bette, please leave a quick message she heard.

Bette she said, the sound of Bettes voice bringing the tears on again, Baby, its me…its Tina. Im sorry, Bette. I lied. I lied to you. Her words were coming out haltingly as her sobs were picking up speed.

Bette she tried to continue through her tears. I dont want this to not change things between us. I want it to change everything between us. I want it to help shape a foundation for us, baby. I want it to take us to a place that we both know we need to be. I want it-

But that was all of the time that she was allowed. Her thirty seconds were up and so was her call.

She looked down at the phone in her hand and contemplated calling back.

No she said to the empty bedroom as she leaned forward to return the phone to its cradle.

Shell call me when shes ready.

She stood up and walked towards the door to her bathroom. Turning one last time to look at the bed that she had shared with Bette earlier, she said, Please let her call me when shes ready.

Turning the water on for the shower, she waited for it to get to the desired temperature. Removing her robe, she stepped in, pulling the shower curtain closed behind her. Leaning her head back, she allowed the hot water to soothe her aching heart and lonely body.

As she reached for the soap, all she could say was, Bette.