Fan Fiction
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“Oh My” (Jan FF Challenge – Part 4)
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(Continued from the third installment wherein Bette found herself in the grip of the pirates, yet those selfsame pirates were then overcome by grey-skinned aliens. Bette herself fell to the freeze ray of the aliens. Yet the aliens themselves were overcome by some strange noises. With the aliens now gone, Bette finds herself not entirely alone. Rather, she finds herself approached by two strangers…)
“Ms. Porter?”
The speaker was a man. Tall, rather thin. Somewhat geeky looking, actually.
“How do you know my name?”
“That’s not important.” This came from the other person, a woman. A red-headed woman who was also somewhat geeky looking but on this woman, the look was hot.
“Who are you.”
Each of the newcomers flashed an ID badge far too fast for the Bette to verify that they were, in fact, valid ID badges.
“FBI,” the man responded.
The woman nodded in agreement. “We were investigating a report of extraterrestrial activity.”
“The FBI investigates extraterrestrials.”
The woman gave a non-committal shrug. “That’s classified.” Then, after a pause. “Why would that be strange?”
“Well, I’d think that extraterrestrials would be left to NASA. Or the CIA. They don’t seem to fit into the domestic agenda.”
The two women entered into a stare-down.
“That’s not the point, Ms. Porter,” said the man, breaking the impasse between the women.
While Bette heard the man, what he said didn’t shake the interest that had quickly developed in the woman. She didn’t feel that the interest was necessarily reciprocated, though. “What is the point?” she finally asked.
“The point is that you can’t stay here.”
“Excuse me?” What did these so-called FBI agents know of her life.
“Ms. Porter,” the woman began. “It’s come to our attention that you have left your long-term partner to become involved with the woman who resides at this home.”
Candace. The woman who’d walked away two installments before. “Is she okay?”
“Other than falling on the wrong side of the yakuza on some gaming debts, she’s fine.”
That seemed a bit unlikely. “Yakuza?”
“Who else would have sent ninja?” interjected the woman.
That made as much sense as anything. “So, why are you looking for me?”
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I was reading in the middle of the night and laughed out loud about the ninjas, pirates and aliens. I interrogated someone who I was convinced was you, but if they are, they didn’t fess up! Will you ever reveal your alternate identity?
Okay, that was really quite ridiculous… as ridiculous as Bette schtupping the carpenter in the first place. But the story was hilarious, and as such, I loved it! I hope there is more coming from you (and have I seen you before somewhere, without the guise of ninja, pirates, or aliens?). Thanks for the story!
I had to click the story because of your name. Also, pirates and ninjas? PIRATES AND NINJAS?!?!?!?!?!?!?! *smiles with glee* I can’t make any promises, but I may read this simply because it sounds like something I’d come up with. Wait, maybe it WAS me who wrote this and I’m not aware of it…
I am…without soap.I dropped it.
Shame that the Tibetter zombies attacked you via the ratings when it turns out you’ve boarded the mother ship at the end. Irony of ironies. Also ironic is that taking the green approach to yardcare results in a most ungreen yard. At least they didn’t use swords or ray guns. I think the reason we can’t all just get along is that some people have no sense of humor and some others have no imagination. I pity the fool who has neither. So like Bette, once again I ask: Who are you?
You dirty girl.
Okay, but I still prefer to think of them delivering burgers and fries.
I think if you had written this story one of us would know, and if I know, I’m not telling.
The ninjas decided for a strategic retreat because, after all, this is fiction.
LMAO…this was totally crazy but why not. I’m one of those Zombies chanting ‘tibette’…lol…I thought Bette would get a lobotomy by the alien so they can examine her..ass..oops I meant her head ;). Or perhap throw Tina in the mix as The Blonde, yeah going after Bette’s head with her Hatori sword while pregnant with little Angie….lmao. I had fun reading this. Thanks
What the fuck. The ninjas lost?? Or did they decide they didn’t have time to fuck around while making deliveries for Ninja Burger? Mmmmmmm burger…Anyway, I can just imagine the late night/early morning streets of WeHo filling up with these zombies, one of them being me. I bow to your sense of humor, though I make no promises that I am picking up a bar of soap in the process. *whistling while walking away*
I appreciate the offer, but I’ve dropped the meat with the soap.
Soapy, if I share my Ninja Burger meal with you, will you tell me who you are? :D
Dropped the meat huh. I’m sure there’s a gay joke there somewhere.
I shall not go for the cheap comment that my life is sausage-free.
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? *puppy dog eyes*
At this point there would be a lot of Zombie walking the street of LA/ You have written on this site before. The humor comes through and also using all the funny people. thanks
Ninjas and aliens and pirates, oh my!! I really enjoyed this fic also, except of course for the very end, which caused me a great deal of pain, as I am NOT one of those LA zombies chanting for that Asian country. This was so clever and funny, and I too want to know if you are known! Do we know us? Seems as though there are several people slipping in and out under other names around here….HMMMM