Bette looked into Tinas eyes and let out a deep sigh. She wondered if this was how it was always going to be. Would they ever really be able to get past her infidelity? For all the talk of starting over, perhaps it was going to be too hard to re-kindle their love. She had a long day and it was late. She was weary and just wanted to crawl into bed and go to sleep. If she werent so tired she would have probably blown up at Tina for even asking. Instead she took a deep breath and braced herself for their conversation.

Tina said earth to Bette, are you there?

Yeah Tina Im sorry, I was just thinking that this is harder than I thought it would be.

Meaning what exactly?

Well, are we just kidding ourselves here? Do you honestly think we can get past my infidelity? Look, I know that I never stopped loving you and I think you feel the same but you know what they say, sometimes love isnt enough. There is so much guilt I carry with me and how are you ever going to trust me if I havent forgiven myself?

So what are you saying Bette, we should give up and walk away. Two wounded souls that havent mended even after 5 years. We need each other to become whole again Bette, dont you see that?

I just cant risk getting involved with you again only to have you walk away. I dont think I would survive losing you a second time Tina. Im not that strong, I guess I never was. So what youre hearing tonight is me filled with self doubt, trying to protect was is left of my heart.

Tina looked deep into Bettes eyes. She could see the fear and heartbreak in them. She had never thought much about how Bette faired after she left. Yes, she thought about her every day, but not in terms of her emotional well being and certainly not about if she had broken her heart by leaving. Back then it was ***** for tat. She wanted Bette to hurt as much as she did. But now all she wanted to do was take away Bettes pain and try to mend both their hearts. She stood up and moved into the chair next to Bette pulling her into a hug.

Bette I cant make you any promises. I believe our love is worth trying to recapture but I cant force you to take the risk and Ill understand if its too much for you to handle. Perhaps I was nave to think I had enough determination and desire for the two of us. You were obviously more affected by what happened then I ever allowed myself to believe. Id like to help you learn to forgive yourself if you let me but it is your decision. Ill walk away now. Just tell me to go.

Tina held her breath with her last statement. The last thing she wanted to do was walk away but she would if it was what Bette wanted. Bette just looked at Tina, almost staring through her. Tina was making it easy for her. She wanted to take that leap of faith more than anything but could she live through it if things didnt work out? She was so very tired.

Tina, I just dont know. I need time to clear my head and think. Im exhausted and in no state to make such a huge decision. Im not doing this to hurt you, please understand that. Its just, Im well, so very much confused.

This was not what Tina had hoped to hear but at least it wasnt goodbye. She could wait; she just hoped Bette didnt take too long.

Oh baby, I dont want to pressure you. Go up to your room and get some sleep. Do you want to meet for breakfast or would you rather we just touch base when we get home?

Honestly, as tired as I am right now Im not sure I could sleep. There is one thing that would help me and I know it is totally inappropriate for me to ask but Im going to anyway. Would you hold me tonight Tina? I need to feel your arms around me, to feel safe. I havent felt that way in so long.

Tina leaned over and gave Bette a soft kiss on her lips. Lets go upstairs baby.