ONE AND ONLY

CHAPTER 75

Tina was really looking forward to seeing Shane and Carmen again. Straight after the holidays Shane had gone away with her grandmother to see some relatives she had never met before down in Florida and as soon as she had got back Carmen had taken her away with her family for a holiday so it had been about six weeks since term ended and an awful lot had happened in that time. Tina could feel that she had changed in that time – her feelings towards Bette were so intense she had occasionally struggled to process how powerful her emotions could be. It would be interesting to see what Shane would have to say about them now they were lovers – she guessed it would show on her face.
Central Park was at its most appealing Tina thought as she walked through the Park on her way to meet her two friends.. She was so lost in her thoughts that she almost stumbled over them as she reached the agreed meeting point of the Alice in Wonderland sculpture at East 74th street.
“Hello there “
“Tina – you look great “ Carmen grabbed her and  they hugged
“Its good to see the two of you – did you enjoy all your holidays ?”
“We have had fun — and looking at you – so have you “
Shane hugged Tina and the embrace had ended she looked her over
“You look very well Tina – what do you say Carmen – does the well fucked look suit her ?”
“It does – you look terrific Tina “
Tina smiled “Thanks – you two looked well tanned – how was Florida ?”
“Great – we had the greatest time – are you two planning to go on holiday ?”
“We would like to – there is some stuff going on with Bette’s parents at the moment so I don’t really think it’s the best time to ask them if they will pay for us to go away and have lots of sex and lie in the sun and mess around “
“Sounds like it’s the best time if you ask me – if you can ask a parent something when they are distracted you can usually get your own way just so you shut up” Carmen announced
“I am not sure that would work with my mom or with Bette’s dad. We are happy just hanging around here. “
Shane looked at Carmen – they were both dying to ask Tina what Bette was like as a lover. They knew it was none of their business but it hadn’t stopped them speculating wildly while they had been away.
“And where is our class brain box ?” Shane asked
Tina smiled “ Dentist – she will be along as soon as she can – her appointment was for 10:30 and its only a few blocks away. She should be here in the next ten minutes or so. She says she’s sorry but dental appointments are a big thing for her “
“She does have a fantastic smile “     Carmen agreed
“She does – so – are you going to tell me about your holiday and your trip to meet your relatives Shane “
“Well we will but we want to know all about you and Bette first “
Tina smiled “What in particular ?”
“Well “ Shane said stretching the word out “ When we went our separate ways six weeks ago you two still hadn’t really made a lot of progress in the making out stakes. I gather from some bragging texts from Ms Porter that things have moved on a lot – what was her last text – something about the two of you being in your bed watching movies and your parents were cool about it – how the hell did that happen ?”
“They love her to bits “ Tina said with a smile “And they are really impressed that she was top of our class. That is the sort of thing that they are always going to like. They just like her and they are great parents – they want us to be safe and they aren’t naïve to think that we aren’t lovers. They know me well enough to know that we have already slept together. Emma just wants us to be safe”
“What about her dad – she was really worried about telling him ?”
Tina sighed “He knew  -that really shook her up. He had figured it out for himself”
Shane looked concerned –  when she had first talked to Bette about telling her father Bette had been more than worried- she had been terrified. How had that situation resolved itself ?
“He was angry and hurt “ Tina admitted
“Oh shit “ Carmen said
“Not with Bette but with her mom – he was really upset that they had conspired against him. Bette feels really bad about it but he’s been brilliant. I really do think that its between him and Rosemary. Bette saw him yesterday and he’s taking us out tomorrow for the day. He won’t say what we are doing but he’s promised us that its his treat. I think he is really worried that I am not going to like him “
“So he’s really okay about his precious daughter being a lesbian ?”
“Yes – he really is more hurt that Rosemary told Bette not to tell him – I think if maybe Rosie had said that he would be okay about it then she might have told him sooner. She did tell him in the end but it was a little too late. He already knew and she knew that. While the dust has been settling between her folks she’s been staying with us”
“Oh I bet that’s a real ordeal for you ! “ Carmen said laughing
“Yeah – having her in my bed all night is terrible “
Carmen looked at Shane who raised an eyebrow – one of them was going to have to ask her – and with Bette still in the dentist chair this was as good a chance as they would get.
“As I said  – the last time we saw the two of you – there had been kissing and cuddling and not much else “
Tina grinned “ Is that what you think ?”
“What ? Are you telling us that you two “ Carmen spluttered
“No “ Tina said calmly “ We had made more progress  than I think you two think but we hadn’t gone all the way”
Carmen looked at Shane and back at Tina who looked amused by the conversation
“I know its bad form to ask anyone to spill the beans on something as intimate and private as a couple’s love life – but “ Shane began and stopped
“But we are both dying to know how it went with the two of you ?”
“You are right  – its not cool but “ she grinned “ Bette’s is wonderful. I have rapidly discovered that there are very few things that she cannot do and if you take a look at my face I think that will tell you all you need to know. She’s wonderful – kind and thoughtful and really passionate and if either of you tell her I said that – well I will be disappointed in both of you. I know you two well enough to know you will not say anything to her – but she’s the best. I am crazy about her and “
Tina stopped and swallowed before looking at her friends
“I am terrified at the thought that when it comes to college – we are going to go our separate ways. I am so scared thinking what it would be like to be at college and not be with her. I don’t want to be with anyone but Bette”
They could both sense that Tina’s whole mood had changed – she was now voicing her fears and she was upset. Carmen took her hand and held it
“Have the two of you talked about it ?”
“No – I am too scared to talk to her about it – I know she had her heart set on Yale. I don’t know if I am good enough to get into Yale or even if I want to. I do know that this is something that will split us up “
“You don’t know that “ Shane said kindly “ You two could easily get into the same college if that that was what you wanted”
“I do want that  – things with  her – with us are brilliant. We get on so well and I know what everyone else says  – that we cannot be meant for each other – that we are only 17 and we will both change. I know all of that – but what if – what if we ARE meant to be together “
“If the two of you are meant to be together then college isn’t going to keep the two of you apart. You two will find a way to make it work or you will find a way back to one another”
“If she goes to Yale she is going to be pursued by every sexy lesbian within a 10 k radius – she’s gorgeous and she doesn’t have a bad bone in her body and – and there is no way I could keep her “
“You don’t know that “
“I do – she’s way out of my league “
Carmen looked at Shane – damn her for assessing Bette and Tina as well as she had. Shane had said that Tina may seem the more self confident but the pressure of having four high performing parents meant that she was much less secure about the decisions she made, in comparison Bette was more sure of herself  – it was just that until recently Bette hadn’t realised how capable she was. The more steps she took – the more assured she would become. Carmen had dismissed Shane’s opinion at the time but now she was having the proof demonstrated in front of her eyes.
Carmen put her arms around the blonde who had started crying,
“Bette loves you so much “ she said
“I know and I love her more than I know how to say or to show her – I just get so freaked at the thought that this time next year we will be getting ready to go to different colleges “
“Does Bette know how you feel ?”
“No – I think we are both too scared to say anything “
“Are you sure ? Maybe she is waiting to see what you want to do. There is no reason you cannot get into Yale as well. You were 4th in the class after only a few weeks at the school. Think how well you could be doing if you have a whole year of our school and studying with Ms Porter – especially the biology bit  – you seem very good at biology the two of you “
Tina laughed through her tears and eased away from Carmen and dried her eyes
“I don’t want Bette to see me like this “ she said hunting in her bag for a tissue. She found one and blew her nose
“Are you okay ?” Shane asked with concern
Tina nodded “I am sorry- that just came out “
“Maybe because you are bottling things up “
Tina nodded “Yeah – I know that is true. “
“You really should talk to her you know Tina. For all you know she is just as scared as you and she doesn’t want to say anything in case she loses control as well – you know Bette is all about controlling herself and her circumstances. Well that was how she was before you walked into our class and she just flipped”
“I wouldn’t say she flipped “ Tina said smiling
“No Shane is right – Bette was right into you from the start – and the way she looks at you – well there wasn’t much doubt that the two of you would get together. And the two of you have  “
“Here’s Bette” Shane said
Tina dried her eyes “Please don’t say anything “
“Tina – you can trust us but really – you two have to talk about it”
Tina sighed “I know we should but I am so scared of hearing that she still wants to go to Yale regardless of me and what my plans are .I don’t want to start at a new college – I want to be with her and I don’t know how I would cope if I found out that she didn’t feel the same as me about the future “