“Alice is ok, that’s the main thing. We just need to make sure he gets the message that it’s over, he doesn’t come back.” She raised her eyebrows at me, there are other ways…

I swallowed. Wondering if it was anger at myself or at Ethan that made me want to follow Shane’s advice.

“Ok.” I said quietly. “For now. But I’m staying with you, Al.”

She nodded, and gave me a small smile.

Shane looked between the two of us, seemingly satisfied.

“Cool, then. I’ll help you tidy this place then I’d better head off.”

“Thanks, Shane.”  I gave her a grateful look. She leant in towards me, her voice low.

“Don’t forget, if there’s any trouble, you call me, alright?  We’ll straighten it out.”

Her certainty made me a little worried but I nodded in agreement. I tried to make Alice go and lie down while we began to sort the apartment out but she wasn’t having any of it. She was starting to look a bit more like her old self but I knew I wouldn’t want to leave her side for some time. There was a niggling feeling of guilt in my belly, like it was my fault. Did I drive her to be with someone like Ethan?  Did I make her feel that worthless?

Shane left about an hour or so later, and then it was just us. I found Alice by the bathroom cabinet, carefully rearranging toiletries that Ethan hadn’t broken. A black plastic sack was at her feet. She saw me looking at it and said,

“It’s all his stuff. I want it gone.” 

I nodded and stood behind her, looking at our faces in the mirror.

“I thought something really awful had happened.”  I said suddenly, staring into her reflected eyes.

She turned around and we hugged each other tightly.

“I love you, Al.” I whispered into her sweet-smelling hair, my lips finding the soft skin of her throat and placing little kisses there.

She drew back. “I love you too…”

My brow crinkled. There sounded like there might be a “but” coming.

“I just-I want- if we’re going to be together…”

I nodded, telling her that was exactly what I wanted.

“I need for us to take things really slowly. Is that ok?”

She tilted her head up to me and I felt myself falling into her liquid brown eyes. I cupped her face and smiled at her.

“Yes.”  I looked at her lips, wanting to taste them, then pulled a face of mock-horror. “Wait- does that mean I can’t kiss you?”

She laughed, and I broke into a grin.

“You can kiss me.”

I didn’t need telling twice. 

We slept together that night. Just slept, and it felt so good to hold her and to know that she was safe for now. For now. I lay there, Alice’s slumbering body draped over me; my eyes wide open in the dark.