Eleven

When I wake up the first thing I notice is how warm everything feels. Warm breeze, warm body next to me, warm freshly applied bandage to my arm. A slinky white arm draped around my waist. A view of clear blue skies from an open window. I inhale some warm air and get the hint of a familiar scent, fruity and a natural smell that could only be Natasi.

No Shane. I am instantly worried. Natasi is sleeping soundly. If I move an inch she will wake up. She always did. Shane wouldn’t really like what was going on here. She would be pissed. She would be all like, “what the fuck is going on, this was my fuck, what the fuck are you doing with the girl I was going to fuck?”

Of course Shane really doesn’t use foul language that was more my thing. And I know she wanted to fuck Natasi because Shane and I are alike. I knew she would want her. I knew she would try because I did the first time I saw her with that dick Pavel. Natasi knew about the list. Its how I knew about the list. Natasi works for Pavel. I worked for Pavel. Natasi and I….well we had something…..something special…..not as special as Shane….I hate internal monologues…..We broke up anyway. It was all just sex really. I don’t have complicated feelings for her or anything……

 I need to get out of here….there really isn’t anytime for this bullshit. Shane, I need to help her….not like she would let me save her. But I need to try. She is so totally in need of saving. Plus I owe her one for lying about….well….like everything.

Warm are lips kissing my ear. I hate when she does this. It makes me breathe hard; it makes me feel like I have no control. It’s why I lie and say I don’t have intense feelings for her because she is a fucking control freak….that’s my thing.

“Stop that.”

Confusion is now authorized.

“Stop….what…Carmen….I went through a lot to get you here with me….now.”