Fan Fiction
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Plan B; pt. 00
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“T?”
“Bette, I’ve been trying to tell you.”
Oh, so this is that Bette person that made my little T-cup so miserable.
“Look, whoever you are, I’d thank you to leave so that my woman and I can celebrate a proper homecoming.”
“Homecoming?”
That was what I just said. Maybe her screeching has made her deaf, also.
No matter. “Did you miss me, sweet-ums.”
“I was counting the days.”
That’s my honey.
“Sweet-ums?”
This repeating thing is starting to get annoying.
“Look Butt”
“Bette.”
“Whatever. Look, whatever you think is happening, isn’t.”
The woman still looked confused. “T?” Maybe she’s slow.
“Mom, did you see who’s here?” Jess rushed into the room. “Momma Red is back!”
“Momma Red?”
So Potter repeats what everyone says. It’s not just me.
Tina put and arm over Jess’s shoulder, and I gave ‘em both a big hug.
“I’m back at that, darlin’.”
“T, what about us?”
That woman’s still here.
“Look, friend, I hate do crush your fantasy, but Tina here is my woman. And,” for this I had to put my hand over Jess’s ears, “while we sometimes invite a third, we never do that on homecoming.”
Jess pulled my hands off her ears. “Why do you do that, Momma Red?”
“Some things are adult business, kiddo. You know that.”
She pouted a little, but she’s a good kid, overall.
“Wait, Red. Didn’t you work at Milk?”
The dim bulb glows a little brighter. “Still do.”
“And don’t you have a girlfriend, Michelle?”
“Yup.” I guess Beth remembers me after all.
“T, you’re involved with”
So much for the bulb of understanding. It apparently had once again faded.
“What we got here is sort of a time share arrangement, Parker.”
“Porter.”
“I do three or four months, with Michelle, and then come over here to show a little love to my other woman.”
“T?” Bitte still looked confused.
“We both get to share a whole lotta love that’d be too much for either one of us.” There’s my girl, clarifying it all.
“Now you know that, Tina here was just passing a little time, waiting for her Red to come home.”
“That’s what I was trying to tell you, Becky.”
“Bette.”
“I can’t say yes to you, since I’ve got my one and only.” Almost brings tears of joy to hear my little lady say that.
“And she’s got?”
“I’ve got a pretty sweet deal.” I gave the third wheel a nudge and a wink, and then told her don’t let the door hit her on the way out. And, take the kid for some ice cream or something. I want to give her mom a little shoutin’ time.
It’s my first night home, and we’ve got a lot of lovin’ to do.
(*wink*)
Author’s other note: In Plan B, pt 95 or so, a few people made amusing statements in the comments. CR00 said that Bette wasn’t Jess’s daddy. techgal added to this by saying that Jess really belongs to Red, the bouncer at Milk from pancha305′s wonderful story, “What is Love?”. (read it if you haven’t…it’s quite good.) Anyway, those ideas, and approval from pancha305, sparked this little creation. The proper title would be: Red — Plan B; pt. 00.
Yes, Plan B will continue, sometime — Tina’s turn next.
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roflmao
That was pretty funny. Had me at first, but then I was like this is sooooooo not happening. LMAO. You’re a great writer. Looking forward to more.
Kudos! To repeat myself– it makes me think of a great menage a trois — Red, T-cup and Butt. I’m still laughing.
Well… I missed something here? Whatever, I love Tee’s POV. So please post the ‘real’ one soon. =D
What the? I thought Red wasn’t part of your story but What is Love…she was invited to their wedding; Red is too respectful of Bette and Tina to do “time share” with Tina and Michelle. But very amusing….but, please continue with YOUR real story. I wish for you, as a wonderful Christmas, all the bons bons that can fit in your freezer. Thanks.
WTFH was that??..lmao…
LMAO ok i had to comment..for a minute i thought i was getting my stories mixed up when “momma Red” was mentioned..lol good one pseud..good one!!!!
OK…so I didn’t like it so much…but I patiently await the next REAL chapter…
LOL! I commented after Techie and CROO on the chapter you referenced as having been the inspiration for this one, so I did know where you were going. Too funny…
Holy crap! It’s so hard to be upset and maintain my “what the f*ck” attitude when I’m laughing my head off at the dialogue. That was fun. Thanks for the aneurysm and panic. ;)
i am so lost… who is RED… but i’m waiting…
That was FUNNY? You had me gulled right up to my virtual balls, I might as well call myself “gullible.” Ha-ha! I was Porter-like with my “huh?”, “what? what?” and other incoherent, monosyllabic grunts of disbelief. I was so stumped I might as well be parking on a blue spot. You SO got me big time. C’mon, Pseud, Tina and Red? Such an unlikely combination, er, like black and blue. Haha. YOU SO GOT ME. And I love you for it. Cheers!
P!!!! looky at that wicked naughty humor you have, I’m still laughing at BUTT!!! to funny it’s just like me calling Tina tuna which then turns into chunk chuck. And wow can I say it feels good to have you do a spin off on a comment of mine.
your too funny. that was great. lmao
OK you know it would be really funny if jess did a play by play of everything that went down.
my first comments was like: were you drunk when you wrote it? LOL, can’t even imagine Bette trying to figure it all out…now bring on the real story
This is funny and you got. Ok let see the real story coming!
Okay first I was surpised. Then a little pissed off and now laughing out loud. But please don’t do this again!!!!!!!!
wtf? where’s the real story? you are killing me! keep writing. I’ll be reading.
you ass :P