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Playing By Heart
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But why was I feeling so torn up about her going behind my back? Because it was wrong, Porter, that’s why. How can I trust her if this is how it starts?
I mean, I realize that it wasn’t her fault she hadn’t told me about what she did for a living before Friday. I took that lump, and started making up for being an ass, but this time…this time she intentionally kept this information from me. She intentionally wanted me not to find out about it.
I never would have known had Joyce just declined her offer…But would that have been so bad?
Of course it’s bad! It’s the principle of the matter that counts. Maybe I should talk to Joyce and find out what was said exactly. Jesus Christ, how did things get so fucked up already?
I fought with myself mentally, caught between wanting to take some of the blame for Tina’s action and wanting to run away from our relationship if this situation was any indication of how the rest of our relationship was to go.
Dammit!
“I think I’m falling for you too, Tina.” I whispered into the night.
——-
The next morning I went for my normal morning run, but took longer than usual. I had a lot of pent up energy that I needed to release after crying myself to sleep the night before.
I thought a lot about our dilemma during my jog, but was nowhere closer to finding any answers. I didn’t know what I wanted.
The reservations I once had about beginning something with a woman who had never before experienced a same-sex relationship were now weighing heavily on my mind, though the issue did not even stem from that particular place. I replayed the conversation I had with Jodi back on her Malibu balcony. Tina and I never discussed Henry, Ryan, or Scott. Hell, we never even discussed that lawyer she was dating before me. We should have.
There are a lot of things that have been left unsaid. So many things lingered in the back of my mind when it came to Tina. Things I knew nothing about. We still have no idea what the other is like.
Don’t get me wrong, prior to last night and Friday night, we have had a hell of a great time together. But judging our relationship from the few hours we have shared does not a healthy relationship make. Fuck, now I’m thinking like Yoda speaks.
I’m gonna need some time to myself and time away to figure this out so we don’t keep fucking it all up though. Not just away from Tina, but away from everything and everyone who can try to convince me otherwise.
I know I’m overthinking this, but whatever Tina and I have deserves to be overthought. Maybe I’m just being overly sensitive about her failure to disclose all that she should have. All the same, I’ve got some serious thinking to do and some critical decisions to make about this girl.
Oh yeah, I’m totally falling for her. Hard.
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Enjoyed the last two updates MLL – I’m sure it’s just me, but I don’t think you’re a tease. I rather like the glimpse into B&T’s inner thoughts. I’m happy to stay ‘tuned’ for more….
Thanks for the update. Please let them talk soon anx straighten things out.
Thanks for the update. They do need to talk so badly but Bette needs to come to grips with her feelings for Tina and I sure hope she does not stop seeing her. It would be unforgiveable if Bette didn’t give her the benefit of doubt in this situation. Granted Tina should have told her when Aaron first said something to her but at least she told her and didn’t just duck out on the situation altogether. Tina was in a rock and a hard place as well trying to decide what to do. I’m just glad she came clean with her. And my mantra as always is: will someone just shoot jodi and put her out of our misery, to hell with how she feels. Oh my goodness, please don’t let Bette decide to go with jodi just to spite Tina. Dear lord they would be awful for everyone. Great update. Thanks.
Hey MeLL! Thrilled to see you posting even through this rough patch. I felt so bad for Tina. Can’t imagine Bette staying mad for too long…she’s just too adorable. Hope to see your name pop up again soon! Have a good week.
Oh boy, things were going so well there. I sure hope that Bette doesn’t do something(someone) stupid-like Jodi or Nada. Tina was sad leaving the house. I
They got it bad, just hope that when they fall they fall together. Plus it would nice if they fall on something soft like a bed.
Thank you for the update,great story.
OMG you such a tease and leaving us like that lol, and for make it up to us, you better let them talk and work thing out and be happy again ahhaha. Please post more, thanks!
When you mentioned there was only a few more chapters to go after posting ‘you’re the boss’ i was a tad CRUSHED but rereading the story here seems to help a little and so does the promise of another story.Thank you :D and happy Monday!
Bette really is a thinker isn’t she? I mean she is really struggling with this inner turmoil over what her heart wants and how her head is telling to react to what her mind considers a major betrayal. As much as I don’t want Bette to run , maybe a few days alone with her thoughts (very complicated thoughts) willfi her good. Right now she’s rethinking even being in a relationship with Tina and it’d be so sorry for Bette to act rashly and lose Tina forever. Tina has to be understanding here and give Bette time to deal. Thanks for such a quick update; but now I feel spoiled and expect the next chapter ad soon as I post this comment (lol).
Tell Bette to drop a note at Tina´s before she takes off…
yeah great story i love it keep posting please thanks!!!!
Oh love, whatever negatives thoughts Bette may have, love is already there and, she will have to deal with it. Last week of traveling then heading back to Europe.
Well you were a tease as you could have easily put this chapter up as well yesterday :) But that’s ok and I will forgive you as I had something to read today :) Thank you Meloveslu for this wonderful story!
The heart knows what the heart sees. Bette’s a goner.
Omg no you didn’t stop there