She looked over at the bloke sighing at the Monet as tho it were fresh cotton candy.  “Oh, God.  I hope he doesn’t burst into tears”, Tina thought to herself.  As if on cue, a lone tear rolled down Eric’s face. 

“Dang it.” 

Tina Kennard always thought Monet was a sap and preferred Renaissance paintings.  There was something about the rosy, buxom subjects that drew her but couldn’t quite put her finger to it.  Right now, for whatever reason, her attention was focused on the pale golden bubbles in her champagne glass pondering on the wonders of the universe.  “If the bubbles don’t want to be there and they try to get out, how did they get them in there in the first place?” 

Tina didn’t notice her boyfriend sashaying over until he kissed her cheek.  “You seriously need to get yourself some Chapstick, Sweetie”, Eric softly cooed in her ear.  “Oh, and this is the lady who sold me that over-priced pop-art sculpture you mistook for last week’s garbage.”

“If he wasn’t such a great shag…”  Tina rolled her eyes before she noticed the woman standing next to Eric.  She was brunette.  “Not quite a Renaissance painting, but definitely shag-able.”  Tina smiled at the statuesque beauty.   “Bette Porter,” said Eric,”This is my girlfriend, Tina Kennard.  Tina, this is Bette.  She’s the ***** curator I told you about. ”

Eric muffled a squeal behind his hand and jumped with shallow amusement.  “Oh my God.. if you two, like, hooked up, like, Ben and J.Lo, like, instead of ‘Bennifer’, you two would be, like, ‘Portard’! AHAHAHA!”

“Hi, I’m Bette…”, Bette started as she extended her hand towards Tina.  Tina turned to Eric and glared.  “Eric, I’ve had it.  It’s over between us!”  Tina then turned to Bette, “Do you have to stay till the end?”

A puzzled Bette stuttered, “N-no..” 

Tina then took Bette’s still extended hand and guided her out the gallery.  Eric stood there, flabberghasted.  “But you’re not supposed to dump me for her until after you come back for your earring!”, He yelled out to Tina, who by now was standing at the exit with Bette in tow. 

Tina turned back to him.  “You are the most annoying person I know!  I’m sorry but I can’t stand you.  I’ve put up with Barney and the Teletubbies at the studio, and that says a lot!  Everyone knows I’m going to dump you for her anyways, and that’s what everyone wants to see so let’s cut to the chase, ai’ght?”  With that, Tina and Bette disappeared into the night.

——————————————————-

Bette stood behind Tina and kissed her nape.  “Have you ever been with a woman before?,” she huskily whispered into her ear.  Not wanting to seem inexperienced, Tina turned around and kissed Bette on the lips.  Bette jumped back.  “Gawd!  You’re not supposed to go straight for that!  You kiss the lips on my face… not the ones below!”

Tina shyly wipes the discharge off her face.  “I’m sorry, Bette.”  Bette tingled at the sound of her name.  “Why dont you let me try again?”  This time, Tina moved in and planted a soft kiss on Bette’s lips….

<TO BE CONTINUED… if the villagers fail to catch in attempt to burn me alive at the stake.>