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Provocations Linger- Chapter 5
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“ At least I could talk to our friends about you cheating.” Tina told her. “Everyone knew about that. I could be angry about it. It was open for discussion. And God knows everyone discussed it.
But Bette, what happened between us…. Who was I going to talk to about that?”
“Were you protecting me?” Bette forced herself to ask.
Tina looked at her warily.
“If I was, I didn’t do it consciously. I don’t know, maybe… That’s not something they’d have gotten over.”
Bette frowned.
“They would have eventually… I mean, they would have been angry but…” Bette hedged.
“It wasn’t exactly ‘rape’ Tina.” She glanced around, instinctively lowering her voice.
Tina eyed her coolly, her face unreadable.
“You tried to fuck me while I screamed ‘No.’ what part of that wasn’t rape, Bette?”
They sat in silence for a bit. Neither wanting the discussion to escalate into something they couldn’t manage.
“Which upset you more?”
Tina frowned at her, her eyebrows knitting together as she realized what Bette was asking her.
“Lovely choice, Bette.” She glared at her ex.
“I assume you’ve already answered the question yourself.” Bette pushed.
Tina massaged her temples, deliberating how much she was willing to share with Bette in this setting.
“The cheating,” she admitted closing her eyes.
“Absolutely the cheating upset me more.”
Bette waited, just letting Tina talk.
“It felt like more of a violation because you went outside of ‘us.’ As fucked up as this sounds, at least you forcing me was between you and me. I know that’s insane but… that’s how it felt. It hurt less to think that you would rape me than make love with Candace.”
“And that is about the most humiliating, self-loathing sentiment I can conceive of. Which is why I thought for a while I needed some professional help.”
Bette gaped at her, beyond horrified. Gulping the rest of her drink, she tried to find her voice.
“Tina, I am so…. sorry,” she choked.
“If I try to offer you my thoughts but their not… complete or the answer you’re looking for… do you want to hear them?”
Dreading either answer, she raised her eyes to meet Tina’s.
Tina returned her gaze looking equally frightened. Finally, she nodded.
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Zuzu, amazing as always. I’m mightily impressed about the delving into very rough and sore and raw material, i thin it is very realistic of a couple that endedon bad-terms. And provocations certainly was that for tibette. Absolutely wonderful! At the same time, the underlying subtleties and hints shared between is lovely. Cant wait for your next update.
OMG! OMG! I didn’t think Bette was going to bring up all this serious stuff. Holy crap! The plane definitely needs to be diverted now – Bette is short on time as it is – and the rehashing the past is likely to make her reconnection more difficult. Yikes! I want to scream “Stop Now!” but I know it is all a part of your superb story telling. I loved how you handled “the encounter”. While I don’t agree with Tina’s interpretation, I do see how if Bette had never explained herself, the events would certainly lead Tina to that conclusion. This was a powerful chapter…I can’t wait for the next.
Damn they’re really getting into the heavy shit. But talking is a start and you said it was a long flight.
Zuzu, now that was a powerful chapter. This was a hard topic to go into and I love how you managed to convey their emotions and their conflicting interpretion of what had happened that night. Most of all, I love how you make me see and understand both of them and why they felt the way they do. I may have to get your a magical unicorn for your work. :D
Oh girl, dont leave us hanging over the weekend plzzzzzzzzzzzzz.thnx
If only this discussion could have taken place on the show… Superbly written interpretation of that scene. Difficult from both sides, but you captivated their emotions so well. Can’t imagine having such a conversation in a confined space… believe I’d be looking for another cocktail.
This is every bit as uncompromising as the subject matter demands. Thank you for doing what IC should have done on the show.
Wow, this was deep. Their dialogue was very well written. I’m not sure if you are tellint the story as each of them remember it (being different than the actual event), or if you have forgotten that when Tina took control of Bette, it was Tina that pulled Bette’s hand to perform the act. Or perhaps you have taken artistic license to change what actually occured for the story. I remember how hottly this issue was debated at the time. Either way, it doesn’t matter as this chapter was written masterfully. Can’t wait until your next post.
An amazing chapter.
While I was really blown away with this topic. I have had this discussion with several people if the act could be consider a form of rape or violet breakup sex, etc.. Its good to here both sides.
toby- thanks for asking — if you have the chance-i hope you’ll re read the first portion of chapter one. i hope i portrayed that by THAT point in the fight Tina is already furious, she is already feeling under attack from the minute she is forced to the bed and her dress is stripped off. Yes, later Tina, feels arousal, which makes her furious with herself, but it’s real. maybe the only real thing she can feel at that point. And so she takes Bette’s hand and guides her toward the only relief she sees?Perception is reality– I don’t think they are remembering things incorrectly, so much as perceiving them differently. In any event- i am not trying to take any artistic license with that scene. thanks for asking.
oops. meant to post that “Capesquad” note as me. sorry- i wrote something a while back as Capesquad. as you were… :)
They should have had this talk long, long ago. I’m looking forward to your next post, and how the two of them resolve what’s left over from that night. Thanks for the story and the post.
“What about what I wanted? What I needed? Bette… I needed to get out of there! I needed to go somewhere and scream and be by myself. I wasn’t ready to feel a connection with you! Did you consider me at all before you went where you went” Wow I am speechless, what great writing…finaly someone willing to go deeper into that scene and futhermore giving us Tina’s perspective, views and feelings on Bette’s actions that night….Needless to say I can’t wait for more :)
Wow! That was intense! I definitely hope you will quickly lead us through the two perceptions of what happened and why that night! Whether that was rape or not was definitely a hot topic of discussion, and I love how you are fleshing it out on both sides!
Your writing is so spot on to this subject. I feel the pain and long buried emotions as I read.
I thought I had read this chapter. I guess I didn’t. …Excellent, excellent, excellent! Painful to relive and recall but excellent!
WOW amazing!! :)PPS
No, of course in her panic Bette was caught up in her own fears and lost any rationality. Hmmm, ‘rape’, it certainly started off that way…I hope U r going to continue exploring why Tina turned it around…altho to be caged up in a plane is not the best…at least neither of them can stop the car & get out…they’re stuck 2gether…altho I suppose B can go back to her seat BUT I need 4 them to resolve this!!!! I guess they do also. PPS.
Wow.
Can’t believe I didn’t read this until today – Its tough to explain the unexplicable… – great chapter, Z!
That was amazing!