Pyromance 6

I drove all the way to our secret hideaway on Hollywood Blvd. It was late and early not many people around. I climb the stairs to the loft styled apartment. The apartment we always dreamed about having when we where kidding ourselves that it was love between us. I used my key (why I kept it I’ll never know) and I let myself in. There was a party going on, all the usually suspects where there. Nice soft music beautiful young things, younger than me really….milling about. It was almost dawn and the party looked as if it was no where near stopping.

Hands reached for me like they always did. Soft hands, warm hands like swarms of locusts and there she was the former love of my life, coked out of her mind with a bandage on her forehead. Her eyes where like glass shards glistening in the light. She had fear in her eyes she must have noticed how serious I looked. I walked over to her pushing aside trays of coke and dollar bills and grabbed her arm dragging her to one of the bedrooms.

Two girls and some guy where all in a tangle on the bed. And I told them to get out. Cheri nodded to them and they complied. I locked the door behind them as they left. What I was going to say needed to be understood, I calmed my nerves and I really looked at her, trying to find some thing about her that I use to have feelings for. I couldn’t. She wore a big fluffy white mink coat with a gold bikini on underneath. She took the coat off figuring the sight of her would make me weak somehow….maybe a year ago….maybe when I was young and I thought she was the only one who would ever do things like that to me.

What I told my folks was a lie. Carmen had her extra flings on the side on the set for Huntington and so did I. I met Cheri my second day on the show she was the wife of  one of the executive producers and we just ran into each other on the set. And after the day was over I went to her beach house and we fucked till the sun came down the next day. That was our life. We would meet and fuck and I call it fucking because there was nothing, not any talk of anything just that sound of our bodies colliding. I thought that was alright, I thought it was what I wanted. Then the parties and the drugs and the booze and all the other unfulfilled Hollywood wives…and then I got famous on the show and then I noticed I didn’t like what I was becoming and so I broke it off with her. She seemed to take it well she seemed to not need me at all. “This is what you want” she said. “Fine by me….” Then the phone calls. And everything else. The woman standing before me a fantasy of flesh and blood. Nothing more. Nothing less…cracked now…flaws showing through and through.