The next time we saw Manny he said something was up. He said that the fix was in; he said the sky was breaking. I never saw Manny again because they got him, he wouldn’t name his accomplices and he was doing 15 in Northern Washington.

“These are what I think they are, aren’t they?”

She found my box.

“Tricia……”

“I’m not blind or stupid Shane. Of the whole you’ve told me but pieces. You had no intention of mentioning that you brought guns into my house?”

“…….”

“Answer me!” I was too shocked to say anything. I should have said something. Something better than what I said.

“Where did you find them?”

“Where you left them….are you going to tell me or should I guess, no wait let me guess, on top of being a junkie and a liar you are some kind criminal aren’t you?”

“I’m not a junkie anymore.”

“How about a criminal, are you a criminal Shane?”

“I am not in that life anymore…..I left it all behind. That is the truth.”

“Is it?”

“Yes.”

“Then why?”

Yeah, why? Lie to her. Lie well….make it count.

“They belong to Carmen, she needed them, and they’re hers…..from before…..before I knew you…..”

Those pale gray eyes, soaking it all in. Carrying the sound of my bullshit. Fierce like a wild beast ready to smell my fear, ready to tear me limb from limb, but I knew her. I knew that she believed in a sane and rational world. I knew that she was a nice simple girl who believed in the power of love, who believed the most in me, she still hadn’t gotten the words but she knew that I loved her, she knew. I was a black hole sucking her in, she had the proof in her hands, she knew all this and whether it was naivety or blind devotion she believed. She believed because she wanted to. The idea that I was some kind of career criminal just didn’t sit right by her, the liar in me had won….for the moment.