“Because I model for Victoria’s Secret?”

“Yeah…..I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, it’s just…”

“I’m not your type?” She asked jokingly.

“No, no, no…. they’re all my type………sorry.”

“Don’t be….I like that…..braggart…”

“What does that mean?”

“You don’t know?”

“No.”

“Well it’s like bragging….in the act of.”

“And smart too….a model that’s funny, smart…..and really sexy……and funny…”

“You said that already.”  Breathy again, like that song Sex and Candy….there she was….

“I did.” I say holding the beat of her eyes a little too long.

“So, we know that I am funny and smart and sexy…..tell me about you Shane….what are you?”

“Still curious….”

“Why?”

“I don’t want this to seem like it’s a self esteem thing….”

“….But why would a woman like me want to date someone who works in a supermarket?’

“Yeah……something like that.”

“I like the way you move. I like the way you look, the way you effect things around you…I don’t want to sound creepy but I’ve had my eye on you for a while…..its not anything more than that.”

“Fair enough….I taped all your commercials….”

“God…..did you?” She laughed.

“Yeah….”

“Do you have a favorite?”

“Yes I do…..you have clothes on….blue jeans and a white bra…..it was…so…..blinding…you know….perfect….I thought to myself Shane…there’s no way in fucking hell…a girl like that would notice you?”

“Why?”

Her question was truthful. It was not “hey tell me I’m beautiful so I can matter.” She knows she’s beautiful…but she knows she’s smart and charming, her beauty was within, and glowed throughout…..I was half truthful with her.

“I dropped out of school after my brother died. I should have finished but I couldn’t. Shay getting killed was just too serious for me…”

“Your brother was killed…..I’m sorry…..”

‘No, its ok….I made a lot of excuses for myself and my behavior….My mother disowned me, I didn’t know where my father was….nothing out of ordinary….I found the right time to start wasting my life is all….After toiling around I hit a point in my life where I didn’t care anymore about perception…..in that time that moment is when I freed myself….There was this girl who I knew….My first love…really…..she left me….and I couldn’t get out of bed…..and I couldn’t not think of her….all this other stuff….I kept myself in that moment when she left….and I didn’t think anything else….time goes by and you think no way will I ever get over this…..I mean if I get over it…then what?”