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Sanctuary – L Word Behind the Scenes
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“This is the only way I like to go out on New Year’s Eve.” She had said, “Lying down for most of it.”
“Drinking champagne in a three thousand dollar a night bungalow when we have a perfectly nice house ten minutes away?”
“You aren’t saying this is a waste, are you?” She had raised her head up to defend our extravagance.
“Well, the lights are still on so the world hasn’t ended yet.”
“Exactly. And we had decided that if by some fantastic appearance of a cataclysm and the world flew off into turmoil we wanted five-star room service. I think we’ve accomplished that!”
“I have everything I want, right here.” I had said to her and she had sighed as deeply contented as I was.
Her hand had slipped inside my blouse to lie across my breast. Her touch wasn’t urging me to turn toward her, no playful tracings to arouse me. I had felt the warmth of her over my heart and every once in while she had let me know she felt me, and loved me, and wanted me but not just yet.
I had asked, “Do you want to go in the Jacuzzi?”
“Not particularly.”
“Do you want a piece of chocolate? I could drop one in your mouth.”
“Possibly.”
“Do you want a New Year’s kiss? It’s the year 2000, Bette.”
“I’ll say yes to our first real kiss in the new millennium.” She had perked up beside me.
“Wait! I’ve given this kiss an unfair advantage. I’m going to kiss you for the rest of my life. This one shouldn’t stack up against all the ones to come after it. They all won’t be on New Year’s Eve surrounded by movie stars and millionaires.”
“No, but we’ll be there.” She had said as her arms had wrapped around me.
“I love you,” I had told her.
“I love you, T. Very much.” And our kiss had lasted what felt like an hour.
When there is no eye to keep watch on Time does it expand or slow down? And why does it feel sometimes that it disappears completely with her?
I remember we had begun on the outrageous flamingo pink casting couch. There was no hurry to discard our clothing, there was no urgent burning to fall together and begin quickly to finish on fire. The way she had touched me that night on New Year’s Eve had made me feel cherished by her, and loved and of course, desired.
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Such a heart breaking story. I loved it so much.
Really liked this, particularly the Scene in the Church.
Story also explains Tina’s comment in the Elevator about liking to stay in on New Year’s Eve!
Beautiful but sad. Tina’s memories need to haunt her – she was self-consumed and couldn’t know to grieve with Bette instead in parallel. They so belong together. Hopefully, more reflection and memories will jar them out of their fog of separation.
Thanks BB!
It is good that Tina is realizing that Bette will attract many admirers now that she is single again. I hope she will cherish the memories of happier times and remember why she fell in love with Bette. They need to come together like they did at church to grieve and talk about the son they lost. That was heartbreaking.
Hey BB…such a heart breaking post. My heart broke into a thousand pieces n then those pieces broke into a thousand more. This post is a real tear jerker. Tina is realizing what she has lost n that Bette can/will find a life w/o her; but they still belong together.. both will not feel complete until they find their way back to each other. There’s no other way, hopefully. Thx BB for the tear jerker n page turning post…you have outdone yourself again my fav writer! Keep up the gr8 work!!!…..(finally got it what Tina meant about staying in on New Year’s eve while they were trapped in the elevator.)
I simply loved this chapter! this is the right word! It was really very heartbreaking, but beautiful as well.
The pain and sorrow will passing with time. Love is the driving force behind so much of everything in life but the pain too.
the moment the Church was very nice, it’s what they should have done: to mourn together.
Tina knows what she’s lost, the question is what she will do that get it back? :) I hope both of them are willing to talk to each other and see that love is there.
Thank you for this.
a great heartwarming story between Bette and Tina, their love for each other, and looking back those memories has bring them closer. once you have your full heart of love for one person in your life then it will always be there regardless how it ended. i cant wait for your next story…. great job!!!
Beautiful but sad….And she’s regretting her life now without Bette…
Living in Arizona as my name suggests, I often see hummingbirds. I have a sugar feeder outside my kitchen window. They are beautiful, ethereal creatures but they are very territorial and can be very bold and belligerent considering their size. Their wings can beat 1,000 times in a minute just hovering, not really getting anywhere. The males are particularly beautiful. The mask (gorget) on their chin and throat is black in shadow and iridescent hot pink when the sun hits it in at a particular angle. Anna’s Hummingbird is the species that is common in my area. Their behavior is similar to our girls, jealous and territorial of their mates when other males make a play for the female but usually the male doesn’t pay too much attention to the females or their relationship. The males don’t participate in nest building, nest maintenance or raising of the young. But they are just stunningly beautiful. Sometimes in RL we don’t expect much from good-looking people and we forgive their transgressions more quickly than average-looking folks. This chapter shows their iron bond but also their laziness in nurturing their relationship. It’s complicated. Brava to you.
I wrote this long comment and it never appeared. Boo Hoo!!
(I’ll try to reconstruct it but I don’t know if it’ll be as cohesive.) Here goes:
I live in Arizona as my name suggests. I often see hummingbirds as they live here year round. In fact, I have a sugar water feeder installed on the outside of my kitchen window. Hummers are fascinating, beautiful, ethereal creatures. They beat their wings as much as 1,000 times per minute. Beating their wings like crazy but never going anywhere, just hovering. The male of a species called Anna’s Hummingbird has a mask on his throat and chin feathers (gorget) that in shade looks black but in bright sunlight, at the proper angle, his gorget becomes this iridescent, hot pink. Hummingbirds in general are extremely fierce and territorial. They will dive bomb you if you get near their food supply. The males are beautiful but lazy. They don’t build the nest, maintain the nest or nurture their mates or their relationship.But we often excuse their shoddy behavior b/c they are beautiful. Don’t we forgive good-looking people (like a Bette Porter) b/c of their good looks more easily than an average -looking person? Did you ever notice how friends say that the person they are trying to match you with, has a great personality which is usually code for this person is homely or nothing special.? Do average-looking folks have to develop their personalities b/c they can’t command a room on looks alone? Maybe, Bette didn’t work on her relationship w/Tina b/c Tina always forgave Bette for her slights or transgressions toward Tina. Bette’s the whole package: looks, brains, personality, charisma. She never really had to work on their relationship. It was all so easy until she committed the ultimate, unforgivable transgression. In the beginning and for a good number of years into the relationship, it was smooth sailing until it wasn’t. Is Bette shallow or just thoughtless when it comes to her relationship w/Tina? I love how you write flashbacks and conjure up a past remembrance (just like Proust) that connects the past with the present.
I wrote it again and it wouldn’t post but I saved it.
I’ll try to reconstruct it but I don’t know if it’ll be as cohesive.) Here goes:
I live in Arizona as my name suggests. I often see hummingbirds as they live here year round. In fact, I have a sugar water feeder installed on the outside of my kitchen window. Hummers are fascinating, beautiful, ethereal creatures. They beat their wings as much as 1,000 times per minute. Beating their wings like crazy but never going anywhere, just hovering. The male of a species called Anna’s Hummingbird has a mask on his throat and chin feathers (gorget) that in shade looks black but in bright sunlight, at the proper angle, his gorget becomes this iridescent, hot pink. Hummingbirds in general are extremely fierce and territorial. They will dive bomb you if you get near their food supply. The males are beautiful but lazy. They don’t build the nest, maintain the nest or nurture their mates or their relationship.But we often excuse their shoddy behavior b/c they are beautiful. Don’t we forgive good-looking people (like a Bette Porter) b/c of their good looks more easily than an average -looking person? Did you ever notice how friends say that the person they are trying to match you with, has a great personality which is usually code for this person is homely or nothing special.? Do average-looking folks have to develop their personalities b/c they can’t command a room on looks alone? Maybe, Bette didn’t work on her relationship w/Tina b/c Tina always forgave Bette for her slights or transgressions toward Tina. Bette’s the whole package: looks, brains, personality, charisma. She never really had to work on their relationship. It was all so easy until she committed the ultimate, unforgivable transgression. In the beginning and for a good number of years into the relationship, it was smooth sailing until it wasn’t. Is Bette shallow or just thoughtless when it comes to her relationship w/Tina? I love how you write flashbacks and conjure up a past remembrance (just like Proust) that connects the past with the present.
still wouldn’t post. But I saved it. What can I do? Maybe it was too long? Is there a character limit on comments?