Dana was slumped in her chair, staring vacantly at the headlines of the newspaper Alice was reading. Shane was casually leaning back in hers with one leg kicked up onto the table, slowly sipping her morning shot. Tina and Bette walked into the Planet holding hands, fingers interlocking, a visible bounce in every step. As Tina grabbed two chairs to add to the gangs table, Bette walked over to the counter to place their orders. With a quick glance at the somnambulant Dana, she looked back at Shane and raised questioning eyebrows. Shane feebly waved her hand as if to say dont ask, its too early on a Saturday morning. Tina instead turned her attention to Alice, who was hidden behind the newspaper, So how was your evening, Al? Alice slapped the newspaper onto the table, flashing a radiant, almost blinding smile, I had ***** with three people last night! she announced a little too loudly.

Matrix style, all the activity in the Planet seemed to slow down to an absolute halt as everyone zeroed in on the bubbly blonde. Dana now stared with astonishment and a slightly gaping mouth. Shane held her coffee cup a breath away from her lips and stared as well. Tina sat motionless, eyes wide and hands folded neatly on the table top, not sure of what exactly to do or say. Bette stood a few feet away like a statue, holding a cup of iced coffee in each hand. Alice looked around with a girlish grin, It was really, really good, too. And with that, she fluffed out her paper and held it up once again to resume reading the editorials. Ever so sluggishly, the sounds of ceramic ware clattering recommenced and conversations picked up where they had been interrupted. Bette reluctantly sat next to Tina, stared at the headlines on Alices paper for a while and then looked at Shane for some kind of explanation. Shane repeated her dont ask me motion and got up to get another cup of coffee.

How are you doing, Dana? Bette asked, studying her half-open eyes. What? she shouted loudly in return. Tina and Bette had to recover a bit from having their eardrums rattled. I cant hear a goddamn thing! she continued shouting, gathering her things to leave, Ill see you guys laterI need to spend some quality time with Mr. Piddles, hes been feeling neglected! Our favorite couple watched with quiet amusement as Dana bumped into seats and tables, pin-balling her way to the door. Returning, Shane claimed her seat and began reading the headlines herself. Bette and Tina decided to limit their conversation to themselves.

Bette: What a lively group this fine morning

Tina: All I know is she better pay up for the movie last night.

Bette: I think she already did

Tina: Huh?

Bette: (dropping voice to a whisper) Well, we got to be alone

Tina jumped at the feeling of Bettes palm trailing up her inseam. She reached under the table and swatted the hand away with a reproachful look, Offer a girl some breakfast at least! she hissed. Shane rapped her knuckles on the table to get their attention, then pointed a finger at the door as she stood up. Both women nodded quickly and waved as Shane slowly swaggered out of the caf. Tina furrowed her brow, They are acting very strange Bette shook her head, her eyes following Shane through the window, Novery hungover. A loud snort suddenly came from behind the newspaper. Paradise! Alice shouted, it sure as ***** was!

Shane and Dana spent the afternoon sleeping and recuperating from the previous night in their respective dwellings. Alice retired soon after finishing her coffee to finish her article, her writers block miraculously lifted with the salutary sexscapades at Paradise. Bette and Tina spent the day window shopping to kill the time until they had to head home to get ready for the opening of the show Bette had been working for all week.

Later that evening

Bette this is absolutely superb, as usual! How do you do it?

Bette lifted the corner of her mouth, what Tina called the I know Im good, thank you for pointing it out grin. Well, I just try to be committed to the artists, to their work, their vision. The words fell like honey droplets from her lips, and Tina couldnt help but become just as mesmerized as this art buff from New York.

Well, I think you need to come to New YorkI have some friends who would love to be showed off in a venue like this.

Bette nodded her head with a brilliant smile, That sounds wonderful, I would love to meet themI just dont know if my schedule allows for a trip to New York. The man put his drink down on a nearby table and held his hands up in the air, What can I do to convince you? Bette turned her head slightly to look at Tina with a save me, please expression. Tina snaked an arm around Bettes waist, pulling her close, I just dont know if I could bear to be here when shes all the way on the east coast.

***

Dana was approaching from the right, Shane from the left. They stopped short in front of the steps to Alices building when they realized they were headed for a collision with each other. Godyou look like *****! Dana said with disgust. Shane cocked her head with a grin and stepped closer to inspect Danas dimly lit face, YeahI wouldnt talk if I were you. Dana shoved her out of the way and slowly clambered up the stoop, What the ***** are you doing here? Shane took the steps by two and reached the landing just in time to ceremoniously hold the door open for Dana. She called me, told me to come over, she said bowing low. They didnt exchange any more words; Dana was still in a fowl mood. Mr. Piddles was really pissed with me, she suddenly said with a scowl while they stood in the elevator. AhgeeDane, Im sorryIm really sorry. Shane balled her fists in her pockets, straining to keep from cracking a smile, or worse, laughing right out. Sometimes you need to sacrifice time with one friend for the benefit of another, she continued gravely. Dana nodded ruefully.

When they approached Alices apartment, there was a post-it note that read, come right in. They both shrugged and showed themselves in. Alice jumped up from the couch, holding to small gift boxes in her hands. She tossed the blue one to Shane and the red one to Dana, which she fumbled with and dropped. I wanted to get you guys something to say thanks for helping me out, Alice explained shyly. She fanned herself to keep the nonexistent tears from falling, I just love you guys so much. Shane and Dana exchanged stupid grins as they tore open their gifts.

Shane: Nofuckingway

Dana: Whooooooooa

Alice: Ive got plenty of rolling paper, so lets torch this *****!

Shane slowly pulled out a bag of weed twice the size of her fist, and bringing it up to her nose, gave it a little sniff and smiled, This is GOOD *****! Alice nodded, beaming, Only the best for my friends. Dana gazed in wonder at the package which she reverently cupped in her hands, Ive never seen so much in my entire life. Alice pointed out to Shane where the paper was on her desk and, grabbing Danas present, settled down on the couch. Dane, no offense, but yours is slightly lower grade, cause you know Dana nodded with understanding and watched with amazement as Alice and Shane made quick work of rolling three beautiful joints. They tapped their joints together like delicate champagne flutes and Alice did the honor of lighting.

Shane: (slow exhale) AwAl, this is so worth watching you get more ***** than me

Alice: (holding breath in) Im gladyou like it.

Dana: COUGH. COUGH. COUGH.

Alice: Suck slowly!

***

Tina made her way up to the front door while Bette finished locking up the car. She picked up the manila envelope which was resting against the door. Alice, she muttered reading the handwriting scrawled on the front:

To Mrs. and Mrs. Porter-Kennard/Kennard-Porter: Thanks for breaking in my whiteboard.

Whats that? Bette asked, peeking over Tinas shoulder as she reached for the doorknob. A thank you gift from Alice, she replied wearily. She handed the package to Bette and started shrugging off her jacket as she walked toward the hallway. Bette walked over to the kitchen where the letter opener was and commenced opening the envelope as she spoke, So, babe, how much time do you think youll be able to get off-ffffffucking *****!