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Scorpio Rising 3
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“I bared my soul to you…I left the window open to talk about it and you just took off….fuck…I love you. I love you so fucking much…but not this way….no fucking way…get out. Get out right now…!”
“Carmen. I went there to….to say goodbye….I went there to say goodbye….”
She has this look on her face. Somewhere between a mouthful of sour patch kids and pure anger. Her eyes are red from crying all night. This was gonna be harder than I thought.
“You honestly expect me to believe that?”
“Ok so tell me where did I go huh? What did I do?”
She looks me up and down. Taking in the mud on my sneakers, the dirt on my jeans, I probably had leaves in my hair from sleeping on her grave. Only it’s not her grave. It’s the others grave.
“…………You have been drinking.…..”
And she is nitpicking.
“You know something Carmen…..just cause you have this fear growing inside you that one day you will wake up and all this will be gone…it doesn’t mean you can control me.”
“So you think I am controlling you now?”
“I don’t have a drinking problem I don’t know how many times we have talked about it….”
“Anytime you need to feel extreme you get shitfaced. And let me remind you that you feel the need to be extreme like 4 times a week.”
“This is not about me and my phantom fucking drinking problem. Let’s not get side tracked and say things we don’t mean….you are mad at me because you think I only deal with you so I can fuck you, so I can have this make believe fantasy world in which everything you say or do I interpret as missing time with her right? The real Carmen as you like to call her….?”
”I really hate you right now….”
“Look at me. I am standing right here in the doorway of a house that is not mine, with a family that is not mine, not in the sense of blood anyway. I love a child who is not mine, a child that is half of a man who I personally detested, a man who took everything from me. And I say me because of the past not because of an ego thing or a this is all about me thing, but because of how it all happened. I went through all of this shit with the Moon Lights, with Peggy fucking Peabody, all this shit for what? To fuck you and pretend that you are her? Do you really think that I am that soulless as a person? Do you think that I am that far gone? Do you think that I am that much of a psycho to stay here and do all of that just to fill a need to be with her? Is that what you really think? Because if it is, if you think that I am not in love with you or our life or that kid than I will walk away and you won’t ever have to see me again. Think about it really think. Look inside yourself and really think about it….”
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“Don’t talk to me about logic and reason when you go to the grave of a woman who is standing right in front of you.” that was such a great line. i’d have to say this is my favourite of the saga. it feels more real. because they’re actually together and it’s not just outbursts of emotions back and forth for the 3 seconds they see each other. i’m glad shane didn’t give in. when shane was contemplating on what to do, i was like yea… none of those are gonna work and then you write that speech and it’s perfect. love the dream talk with old carmen. so many things in this update that i loved. this is probably my favourite update of the saga thus far. i guess that’s saying a lot but it’s true. sorry this is so long. keep it up. do you like new order? maybe? say yes.
Whoa, a happy, cute update? Sort of…Wow, sometimes I need that. This story is so real, I think you captured Shane’s torment and conflict when she was torn between two women that she loves. I think that my favorite part of this saga was The Line Begins to Blur. It was the beginning of something great, and so raw and different. But I love all aspects and parts of this story. I’m looking forward to more!
Sheer PERFECTION. I’m totally at a loss for words. THANK YOU!
“Don’t talk to me about logic and reason when you go to the grave of a woman who is standing right in front of you.” lol love it!!!!!!!
This gem blew me away. I cannot for the life of me unscrew the grin on my face, lol. I loved the sexual torture, I live for that. But I loved Shane’s strength even more and this chapter was just perfect. WOW. HOT. I have to read it again. Keep up the good work.
That was one hell of an update! The insecurities of Shane and Carmen came to a head and you did a great job of fleshing it out! I love this whole saga but if I had to pick the best installment I would go for the first one that started it all, it drew me in and I have been riding with ya every since. Keep up the good work!!
Grounds keeper: You are not one of the creatures of the night are you? Shane: Not today. — Hmmm, for some weird reason I have the sudden urge to read Night Returning. Straaange. LOL I could actually picture Shane winking at the audience on that one.
Go Shane! I was actually pleading w/ her to not give in to Carmens sexual ‘torture’. She definitely had a Zen moment. I loved every part of this saga but to pinpoint one of the best & happiest moments for me had to be when Shane realizes & see’s that Carmen is alive. Although I suspected something might be wrong w/ her I didn’t care I was just thrilled that she was back. I also love the fact that their relationship is so tumultuous, whether it be their fighting or the adventures they face together. Its one hell of a story, that I always look forward to reading.
great update cant wait 4 more
‘everywhere i look, youre all i see, just a fading fucking reminder of who i used to be’ Love that song!damn! ive missed out on so fucking much! a brand new part of the story ive loved so much! this is absolutely great NDF! i always knew you had it in you! my fav story was ASATS but i feel compelled to change my Fav story to Scorpio Rising. this is just one amazing piece of writing… ‘slow at first when we move… slow at second…’ Woman!! WOW is all i can say!! my eyes were popping out and my jaw dropped! lol this is really very great, and fuck it broke my heart when carmen said “Baby…tell me…tell what to do and I will do it….” all of that emotion, that incredible outburst of feelings. absolutely Amazing NDF!! youre truly hitting an entirely new dimension with your fantastic words! Keep it coming babe! we love you for it!
I love that whole conversation with ‘the old Carmen’, its a great closure. And I am also glad she talked to ‘the new Carmen’, its now a new beginning, but it is scary that I know this happiness wouldn’t last… because you are you… please make it last a chap or so, before you bring in the drama? Please Please Please ~~~~~~~
I would have to say this is my favorite part of the saga because I totally was not expecting you to continue. I love the battle Shane is going through between the two Carmen’s. She has to let go of the old Carmen to a certain degree and let life take it’s course!