It had been three days since Tina left and they had been the hardest three days of Bettes life. The first day she couldnt even drag herself to work so she called James and told him to tell Franklin she was really sick. It wasnt a lie. Bette spent the entire day staring at the two things Tina left behind. She didnt eat, she didnt sleep, she didnt even move. She just sat in the chair next to the door and stared at the two objects that represented her whole life. The entire past seven years with Tina could be summed up in two objects no bigger than the palm of her hand. Bette held up the house key and it brought tears to her eyes as she remembered the day they moved in. It had been four years ago and she could still feel every emotion that ran through her body when they opened the door to their new home and their lives together. Tears ran down her cheeks as she remembered moving in and how many memories they had made since that day. It had all been so simple, so easy back then. But that feeling of ecstasy quickly gave out to the realities of life.

Tinas wedding band remained on the table, untouched. Bette couldnt bring herself to put it on and she was afraid to move it for fear of losing it. This object hurt the most. Sharp pangs of pain ran through her body as she thought about the reason Tina had taken it off in the first place. *****, even I wouldnt forgive myself. How did Tina do it? Bette sat there staring at the ring, and knowing what it stood for, she wondered how she had been able to throw it all away so easily.

The night Tina left Bette wanted nothing more than to be able to take away the pain she was causing her, but it was something she just couldnt do. She remembered Tina standing there yelling accusations at her, but more importantly she remembered what Tina said before she left.

Bette, you better be damn sure this is what you want, because this time Im not waiting around for you. This time Im not coming back.

Not coming back. It was a possibility she knew Tina would consider, but until Tina actually said it she never believed it. After all it was Bette and Tina, the super couple. Yeah right, Bette said to herself as she thought about what she had compromised that night. She had to let Tina go, knowing keeping her around would only cause herself and Tina more pain and heartache. Bette could see Tina standing there holding a suitcase and a shoulder bag as she made her way to the front door and out of her life forever. The second time around was harder because this time it was a decision not a consequence. It had been something Bette was thinking about the entire time she was supposed to be making amends with Tina. Maybe not consciously, but nevertheless it was there in the back of her mind.

The second day Bettes mind was still clouded with thoughts of Tina and what their life once was, but she had to get to work. With the new show opening soon, Bette couldnt afford to take any more time off. Walking through the doors of the CAC was so difficult as she recalled what events had taken place here. Candace. Tina. Tina finding out about Candace. It was that last thought that almost brought tears to her eyes again. I cant even imagine the pain I caused her that night. Bette knew that she loved Tina very much but right now she needed time to think things through.

There was never any doubt in Bettes mind about who the perfect person was for her. It was and will always be Tina. She completes her in every aspect and she is the one who will always have that special place in Bettes heart. But it just wasnt enough. Bette knew she had feelings for Candace and as much as she wished they would just disappear, they didnt. It had been these initial feelings for Candace that got Bette into this mess in the first place.

*****, what am I going to do? Bette wished she could take back time and rewind the past six months. Start over. Have a chance to do it all again and maybe this time she would do it right. Maybe she would have gone to Palm Springs with the girls so she wouldnt have kissed Candace that night. Maybe she would have stayed home with Tina instead of going to Kits show so that she would have never met Candace. Maybe she wouldnt have been such an ***** to Tina and they would have never needed therapy, thus she would have never met Yolanda. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Bettes head was full of maybes but one fact remained. It was as if fate had brought her and Candace together and now she couldnt get her out of her system.

Bette felt nauseated as she numbly went through her daily routine at the CAC and she left work as early as possible. As she drove home she passed the Planet and the feelings of pain returned. Bette didnt know where Tina went that night when she left, and this time she didnt call to tell her. Tina didnt care about Bette any more and this broke Bettes heart. Bette sat in her car across the street from the Planet and she wondered what Tina was doing. She could almost picture her sitting at their usual table talking to Alice and Dana about some mishap or telling some story. Tina loved to tell stories, and she was good at it. She could hold an audience better than anyone and Bette could recall the nights when they first started dating that she would just lie in Tinas arms listening to her tell her about her day.

As she drove away from the Planet she couldnt help but wonder if she made the wrong decision. Why didnt I just stay with her? What was so wrong with our relationship? What was so wrong with Tina? Bette knew the answers to her questions and it killed her. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It wasnt anything Tina did or didnt do that was making Bette feel this way. It was Candace. Bette knew her body was betraying her heart, but she had to find out for sure. She wanted to see Candace, to talk to her and figure out what was going on between them, but she couldnt. She told Tina she needed this time to figure out things for herself and that was exactly what she was going to do. Even if it killed her, and being without Tina was slowly doing that. But it wasnt up to Tina anymore. Bette took full responsibility for her actions and now she was trying to make amends with herself.

The third day had been the hardest for Bette. She woke up for the first time without feelings of guilt or remorse for what she had done to Tina. She had a clear head and now she was left with so many possibilities. She didnt know what she was going to do or what she wanted and it scared the ***** out of her. It was this third day that made Bette realize she really didnt know who she was anymore. The old Bette was so content in her picture perfect life including a high powered job and a beautiful wife by her side. The new Bette had nothing and wanted nothing. She didnt know what her motivation in life was anymore and she didnt know if she could ever find it again. In the beginning Tina had been her inspiration, her reason for living. But now she was gone. She walked out the door and Bette had let her go.

When Bette arrived home from work that day she saw Alice sitting on her front porch. Bette sighed to herself and she wished Alice wasnt there. She wished she wouldnt have to see any of them again. She wished she could just crawl up in a hole somewhere until this mess was straightened out. But she couldnt. Alice stood up and walked over to her car as Bette was getting out. Bette had known Alice for a long time but she could tell Alice was looking at her in a whole new light.

Hi Bette.

Hey Alice.

They stood there looking at each other and Bette knew Alice was hating her right now. Hating her more than the night Tina showed up in her apartment crying. More than the nights it was Alice and not Bette who sat by Tinas side as she cried herself to sleep. More than the day Bette admitted to them what she had done. This time it was different. Alice couldnt figure out why Bette pushed Tina away again and she was looking at her with concern and sadness in her eyes.

Bette, I just came by to see if everything was okay.

Im fine Alice.

Bette tried to walk by her but Alice grabbed her arm to stop her. Bette turned around with anger on her face, but softened when she saw the look in Alices eyes. Confusion. Bette didnt want to have to explain herself to anyone but Tina, but she knew Alice was just trying to be her friend and be there for her through this trying time.

Bette, why did you do it? I thought you guys had worked things out.

Bette sighed again as she tried to form words to tell Alice what was going on with her. She came up shorthanded and knew that Alice probably wouldnt have believed anything she said anyway. She looked at Alice and said the only thing that came to mind.

Just tell her I love her and that Im working on it okay?

Bette walked past Alice and into the house locking the door behind her. Bette didnt have any answers yet and when she did the only person who needed to hear them was the person who belonged by her side. She set her things down and sat in the chair next to the door like she had been doing for the past few days. She looked at Tinas ring and she knew it only belonged on the hand of one person. Tina.

BZZZ. BZZZ. BZZZ.

Bette dug through her purse and when she finally found her phone she looked at the number and her breath caught in her throat. Why is she calling? Bette wondered as she flipped the phone open and greeted the person on the other end.

Bette? Its Candace.