What the ***** was that? thought Bette as she stood there in the doorway watching Tina drive off. She waited until she was sure that Tina had rounded the corner and wasnt turning back before she stepped in the house and slammed the door as hard as she could. What the ***** was that? Was she mad? Was she not? What the *****? Bette walked around the living room picking things up and slamming them back down. Tina had stopped by and completely blindsided her by being totally calm and almost nice. Until Bette asked her to talk. Then she just walked away. She walked away? If she was okay with things then why did she walk away? And where the ***** is she moving to? Bette was getting more and more frustrated so she decided to take a hot shower and go to sleep.

As she stood under the water she felt the confusion taking its toll on her body. She had never felt so tired, and all this guessing and second guessing Tina was starting to get to her. I will talk to her tomorrow. I will just ask her what is going on and see what she says. She was the one who wanted more honesty in this relationship, so I hope she is ready to talk. Bette got out of the shower and fell into bed letting her mind wander as she tried unsuccessfully to get some sleep.

Tina awoke the next morning with a strange feeling in her system. Freedom. For the first time in seven years she was free. Free from relationships, free from rules and expectations, free from herself. She was so used to being in a relationship that she had forgotten how to be independent. There was also one last thing she had the freedom to do and when she thought about it a smile crept across her face and she knew it wouldnt go away easily. She had the freedom to be with whoever she wanted. This person could only be one person of course and Tina knew that, but the fact that this time she had the chance to meet Bette half way instead of waiting for her to come around made Tina very happy. She felt like they were starting over and Tina hoped that Bette understood why she had to do this.

She rolled out of bed and saw Alice sitting at the table eating a bagel and reading a magazine.

Morning sleepyhead.

Tina smiled sheepishly at Alice as she walked over to join her at the table. She sat down next to her and Alice offered her a cup of coffee and a bagel. Tina gladly accepted the coffee but passed on the bagel. She sat there with that stupid grin on her face and Alice was so intrigued by Tinas good mood that she closed the magazine and tossed it on the counter.

Okay Kennard, what is going on? Yesterday you were all sad faces and hating life and today you are grinning like a bride the morning after her wedding.

Tina smiled at Alice as she took another sip of coffee. She hadnt told Alice she went to see Bette yesterday and she knew Alice would want all the details. They had become very close since Tina had started staying there and she felt like she could tell Alice anything.

I went to see Bette last night.

Alice almost choked on her bagel when she heard this. She swallowed hard then turned to face her entire body towards Tina.

Well??? How did it go?

Good I think. I told her that I was there to pick up some stuff and that was it. Then I left.

So you saw Bette but you didnt talk to her about what is going on? Im confused, I thought you wanted to work things out with her.

I do. But it cant be like it was before. We have to both want it and we have to meet in the middle. No more waiting, and no more playing games. Oh and I told her I was moving.

Alice sat there giving Tina a strange look. Tina seemed too happy about her conversation with Bette last night, and something seemed off about the situation. Alice raised an eyebrow at Tina as she spoke.

So was she okay? I mean was she happy to see you? Sad? Angry? What happened exactly.

Well, she seemed surprised actually. I just told her I needed to get into the house because I didnt have a key anymore. She didnt say much but she let me in at least. Then she waited in the living room while I was packing. We didnt talk much but when I was leaving she offered me my key back. I didnt take it.

Tina was listening to herself as she was talking and something suddenly dawned on her. Oh *****. Bette must have been freaking out last night. She probably thought I was a total ***** too. Oh *****! *****. *****. *****. Tina looked at Alice and she saw the look in her eye.

Tina, Im glad that you got to see her and all, and dont take this the wrong way, but dont you think if she wanted to see you so soon she would have called by now? I mean youve been here four days and the phone hasnt rung once. Last time she was calling every hour on the hour and she practically broke my door down.

Tina gave Alice an angry look as she processed what she was saying. Tina had been so sure that Bette just needed time to find herself and she would eventually find Tina again that she hadnt allowed the possibility that maybe Bette wanted out of this relationship. For good. No, I cant lose her forever can I? I love her and she loves me. Did she think I was trying to push her away last night? Tina leaned back in her chair and she felt the tears forming in her eyes as she realized what a mistake last night might have been. I need to talk to her. I cant leave it this way.

Bette rolled over in bed and put her arm over her eyes. She had a pounding headache and she knew exactly why it was there. She slowly got up and wandered into the living room and took her usual seat at the chair by the door. She picked Tinas ring up and held it in her hand. The metal felt cold against her palm and she was struck by the memory of the first time she put this on Tinas finger. Bette closed her hand over the ring and squeezed it as tight as she could. She wanted to talk to Tina, but after last night she didnt know what was going on with her.

Bette got dressed and decided to get some coffee to help clear her head. She got into her car and was about to head over to the Planet when she stopped herself. If Tina is there I dont want to talk to her in front of everyone else. Bette decided Starbucks would do and she quickly drove to the nearest one she could find. When she finally found one she quickly got out of her car and walked inside. She ordered her usual triple shot vanilla latte, and as she was leaving someone gently touched her shoulder sending a chill down her body. She hadnt seen her when she walked in, and she didnt know what she was doing on this side of West Hollywood, but nonetheless, Bette was almost glad she was there.

Bette turned around and came face to face with Candace. Candace gave her a small smile as she took a step back, almost as if she was afraid Bette was going to hit her. Bette looked at her with a puzzled expression and smiled warmly at her.

Hi Candace.

Hey Bette. Youre up early.

You too. What are you doing out here at seven AM on a Saturday morning?

My crew has a job down the street. Just getting a morning charge.

Bette smiled at this and she knew exactly what she meant. Candace looked down kind of awkwardly and she quickly took a sip of her coffee. Bette realized Candace was nervous and she motioned to an empty table outside.

Do you want to sit?

Sure.

They walked out to the table and Bette took the seat across from Candace. She looked at her over her latte as she took another sip and Bette felt a small feeling of desire run through her system. Even though Candace had been the cause of so much anguish for her, Bette undoubtedly had a physical attraction to her. Bette took in Candaces wild hair that was pulled back into a ponytail, her high cheekbones that Bette desperately wanted to run her fingertips over, and her full lips that Bette remembered were so sweet and soft and full of passion. Complete opposite of Tina, except for the passion part, thought Bette as she drank in the sight of the woman across from her. Candace sat back in her chair as she tried to enjoy Bettes company and not act like all she wanted to do at that very moment was rip her clothes off.

So, how are things?

Bette laughed at this and Candace couldnt help but join in. They had been through too much together for this question to be anything but superficial. Candace knew Bette didnt have an answer to this so she decided to ask a more direct question.

Seriously Bette. Is everything okay with you?

Bette fidgeted with her hands and this drew Candaces attention to them. For the first time Candace realized Bette wasnt wearing her wedding ring. I guess not, she thought as she sat there waiting for Bette to answer. Bette felt her right hand reach for her left ring finger and she remembered she had taken her ring off. She was wearing it on a chain around her neck with Tinas ring right next to it. Bette sighed to herself as she looked at Candace and realized that for the first time, Bette wished Candace were Tina. Maybe Kit was right. Maybe I always just want what I cant have. She gave Candace a fake but believable smile and took another sip of latte before continuing.

Things are fine. So what is this job you are working on? Must be pretty calm compared to Provocations huh?

Bette, dont change the subject. Is everything alright with you? You seem a littleI dont knowdifferent.

What Candace had wanted to say was, you seem a little unhappy, but she didnt want to hear that she was the reason for Bettes unhappiness. She figured she should go since it was obvious that Bette wasnt in the sharing mood so she stood up and said she had to get back. As she passed Bette she put her hand on Bettes shoulder for a second and she closed her eyes when she felt Bettes hand on hers. Bette didnt say anything as she sat there with her hand on Candaces but she felt the heat from her hand travel all over her body and culminate somewhere between her legs. Candace stood there for a minute or so before she pulled her hand away from Bettes and looked down at her. She slowly bent down and when Bette realized what she was going to do she sat perfectly still, frozen by fear. Candace gave Bette a soft kiss on the lips and after a second Bette felt herself responding. She got lost in the sensation of Candaces lips against hers but when she pulled back and opened her eyes Bette saw Tinas face looking down at her, not Candaces. Okay what the ***** is going on with me? thought Bette as she watched Candace walk away. I need to get out of here. Just have some time alone. I need to think. Bette gathered her latte and her purse as she headed back to her car trying to think of places she could go to be by herself.

When Bette arrived home she ran into the house and grabbed an overnight bag. She decided she would take a drive up the coast to San Francisco and just clear her head. She didnt know where to stay or have any sort of plan but she knew she would figure it out once she got there. She had her bag and was about to run out the door when she saw the message light blinking on her machine. She went over to the machine and pushed the button expecting to hear Kits voice or Alices or even Shanes.

Hey Bette, its Tina. Look, about yesterday, Im sorry Bette. I didnt mean to seem so cold, I just didnt know how to act around you, and I wasnt ready to talk. But if you still want to I am ready to talk now. Im here at Alices again and Ill be here until Thursday. Call me when youre ready. I love you.

Bette stared at the machine in disbelief. Her head was spinning and she knew if she talked to Tina right now it would not go how either of them wanted to. She really wanted to talk to Tina, to hear her voice and tell her that she loved her too, but she just couldnt pick up the phone. She could still feel Candaces lips on hers but the only thing on her mind all day had been Tina. ***** it, thought Bette as she left the message on the machine and grabbed her keys. With one last glance around the house she got into her car and headed for the bay.