“I know that. On some level I know that already. But I’m just second guessing what I know is right.” Tina said with her head down and her eyes focused on her twiddling fingers.

“You don’t have to second guess anything when it comes to me. Tina you know me, I think you know me better than I know myself sometimes.” Bette said calmly and gently as she saw Tina nod her head in agreement. “why are you so timid when it comes to us?”

“I don’t know. Maybe, because I… I haven’t known myself for such a long time. I think I need to reacquaint myself with me before I can firmly say this direction is what’s right, ya know?”

Bette’s brows creased as she was trying to decipher what Tina was saying. She knew somewhere in that explanation it made sense, but it was eluding her at the moment. “Tina your trying…”

“I know it’s kind of jumbled in my mind as well, but it’s how I feel. Right now at this moment I don’t know how to explain it to you. I’m sorry.”

Bette put both of her hands up and said “Fair enough. Well since you’re going to be here I can always build you an office next to the studio and we can put up some…”

“Oh no, Bette I don’t want to move in with you.”

“But you said you wanted to be here? Where would you live Tina?”

“The company owns these suburban townhouses that they hold for executives and such. I’ll have my own place.”

“Oh, I see.” Bette said feeling the defeat come on stronger than she would’ve liked until Tina spoke up.

“It’s not that I don’t want to live with you Bette. Because I already know that would be nothing more than bliss. I just need to have my own for a while. If you remember how happy I was when I bought the house and then after everything was said and done Justine decided that she did want to live with me after all. I never really got to enjoy my own freedom or to experience the feeling of missing someone and not having them in my bed. Granted I know it sounds like self induced torture, but it’s what I want. I want to miss you sometimes and not know whether or not you’re spending the night at my place. I don’t want to work long hours knowing you’re alone and missing having me next to you, I know what that’s like and it doesn’t feel good. That’s how the resentment starts. I don’t want that for us. Please you have to understand that I do want you as my girlfriend just not so fast that we miss out on the small stuff.”