Giving up to fate and the hopelessness of the world I sank down to my knees, finally finding the hard wooden surface of the floor to cushion my body. I brought my knees up to me, hugging them desperately to grasp at anything with an ounce of control and comfort. I blinked away the tears, the salty water now dry against the soft skin of my cheeks. I licked my lips, tasting the residue of these tears now long gone.

A memory flashed past my eyes as my senses were heightened by this taste. In this very kitchen I had tasted tears before, but they had not been mine. I travelled past the veil of present convictions to a place stored in my mind. A place no amount of anger or pain could reach; it was my comfort zone. A warm and safe temple for my own personal worship of life. It had been a while since I had ventured into it and I hardly recognised the place. Before it had been sparse, with the odd distant memory that lay scattered and misshapen by lack of detail. Now it was full and golden with possibilities.

In the middle of the light and tranquility stood Millie, regarding me with that smile. The look in her eyes sprung love, a sense of wonder and pride. I sucked in a lung full of air, my heart beginning the steady thump as she approached me. I was tired and my head was still spinning from the recent events. I hadn’t had time to even think or contemplate the results of my present actions. And now it dawned on me what I had given up, what I had left behind and more importantly what I had gained.

Do you know how happy it makes me to see you simply standing in my kitchen? she asked, her words soft and scalding; burning my ears from their intensity.

I smiled, unable to hide form her. She had me cornered now, defenceless and weak to with stand against her actions.

The space between us disappeared and was replaced by heat, her hand instinctively found mine and held on tight. Her other hand gently caressed my cheek, cupping my face and tracing every line and indent which her fingers could find. My breath had become shallow and I felt the heady glow of happiness designate itself into my mind to create a state of self induced euphoria. Seeing this look shining in my deep green eyes sent Millies senses into over drive. Her bottom lip quivered and she swallowed once before tears sprung to her eyes. I felt the immediate rush of concern, squeezing her hand and pulling her close.