Carmen: “What the fuck do you mean by you never want to hurt anyone? That’s all you ever say!”

Shane crying harder and putting her head in Carmen’s lap: “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you Carmen and I never wanted to hurt you!”

Carmen sighing, putting both of her hands on Shane’s head, and beginning to cry: “I know Shane. I know.” Carmen doesn’t look at the doctor but stares off into the distance.

Dr. Crawford sliding a box of tissue over to Shane and Carmen and in a quiet voice: “Shane, what caused you to not marry Carmen?”

Shane, sitting up on the couch and wiping the tears from her eyes: “I saw my father with another woman while his wife was in the room waiting for him. When I asked him what was going on, he told me that I already knew what was going on. That it was just the way he was. That I should understand. I did understand. McCutcheon’s can’t be faithful and will eventually hurt the person we are with regardless of how good of a person the other person is. It’s just the way we are. I never wanted to hurt Carmen. I knew I would down the line and thought it was better to do it before we got married than after we got married.”

Carmen offers Shane a tissue.

Shane shaking her head: “No.”

Carmen takes some of the tissues out of the box and wipes the tears from her eyes and put the tissue on Shane’s nose. “Blow.”

Shane looks at Carmen, laughs, and takes the tissue from her: “Thanks.”

Dr. Crawford: Carmen, do you understand what Shane means by what she just said?”

Carmen: “No I don’t. She is a capable, thinking human being. That is an excuse for her bad behavior. While I believe that Shane doesn’t want to hurt anyone, she sure has a weird way of showing it. There is a long list of hurt in her past. I’m just one of many. And from what I have heard, believe it or not, I may not be the person Shane has hurt the worse!”

Dr. Crawford: “So you don’t think Shane sets out to hurt people?”

Carmen irritated that she has to answer the same question twice:  “I believe I already answered that. This isn’t about me. This is about why Shane seems to leave a wake of destruction with every woman she is with! And the collateral damage done to friends!”

Shane begins to cry again: “I’ve never been good with relationships. But Carmen was the first and really the only person I ever wanted to settle down with. And I still want to settle down with her. That hasn’t changed.”

Carmen looks at Shane then off into the distance again.

Dr. Crawford: “This is a good place to stop. Carmen, I would like you the think about what it is about Shane that draws you back to her. And Shane, I want you to think about why you have a problem making a commitment to anyone. Should I schedule you both for another session?”

Shane looking over at Carmen: “I’d like to come back.”

Dr. Crawford looking at Carmen: “Are you willing to come back for more sessions?”

Carmen shaking her head: “Yeah I guess. It’s her money!”

Dr. Crawford: “Thank you both. I will schedule you for next Wednesday at 11. See you then!”

Carmen gets up to leave the office and Shane follows her. When they get to the elevator, Shane pushes the button. As the door opens, Shane motions for Carmen to go in first. They go down to the parking garage and over to Shane’s jeep. Shane opens the door for Carmen then gets into the driver’s side. She reaches in her pocket for the jewelry box.

Shane: “Carmen I know I have a lot of things to work on and I want to.” Shane hands Carmen the box and Carmen opens it. “Marry me! No big ceremony, no leaving the country. We can go down to the County courthouse and get married. Or we can fly to Vegas and get married. You don’t have to answer now. But in November, our ability to get married in our city or state may end. I hope not, but it might! You don’t have to answer right now. But I just want you to know how I feel.”  Shane starts up the jeep and they drive off in silence.

END