Shane’s face was unreadable, her eyes darted everywhere except in Carmen’s direction. She grabbed her cell phone and fingered the antenna nervously, "Right, OK, Well I’ll call you later then, when I’m done. With my appointments. Alright, have a good day." She stammered while she backed out the door.

——————————————————

Carmen tried yet again to concentrate on the music flowing through her headphones. She’d told her friend Rae that she would listen to the new single today and tell her what was missing. But it was no use. All she could think about was the expression on Shane’s face when she had used the G-Word. ‘Well, I guess I came out and said something after all.’ Maybe now she could figure out where she stood with Shane. She had a sinking feeling that she wouldn’t like the answer. That’s assuming that ‘I don’t go completely insane before I see her tonight. IF I see her tonight.’ Carmen was pretty sure Shane would come up with some excuse, and just disappear, again. The ring of her phone snapped her out of her dark thoughts. She looked at the caller ID. Shane. ‘Well, here it comes…’ Carmen braced herself, "Hello?"

Shane’s tone was light, "hey baby, what do you think about Chinese?"

Carmen blinked in confusion, "What?!"

Shane smiled, "For dinner tonight, how about I pick up some Chinese?"

Carmen shook her head trying to clear it, "Oh, yeah. That sounds good."

"Great, I’ll see you soon then."

Carmen turned off her phone and gazed at it in shock. Shane was not avoiding her. Carmen had used the word girlfriend, and Shane was not running away, or closing off. She was coming over, soon, with Moo Goo and egg rolls. Carmen shook her head and laughed in relief.

——————————————-

Shane sat in her truck and finished the last of her cigarette. She sighed and gazed over at the warm light pouring out the windows of her girlfriend’s apartment. ‘Girlfriend.’ Shane bit her lip, she wasn’t sure if she was really ready for that word yet. But every time she remembered Carmen saying it, she couldn’t keep the smile off her face. She wanted this, she did. But she’d wanted a lot of things in her life. And it seemed the more she wanted something, the less likely it was that she would get it. The more in love she fell with Carmen, the more frightened Shane became. ‘I shouldn’t allow myself to depend on someone so much. I know better.’ Shane seemed to have this internal argument every few days. ‘Jesus I should follow my own damn advice, relax, enjoy today, and if this whole thing ends tomorrow… Well then tomorrow will devastate me, but right now, right now I’m wasting time. I should be inside making love to the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, instead of sitting in this truck like an idiot.’