As I exit the club with Dana, I see a girl Ive been cruising for quite some time. Her hair is a long, flowing mane of blonde curls. Her eyes are a deep hazel. And her bodywell, her body is as perfect as they come. She finally seems to notice mewhen Im helping a wasted friend.

Hi, she says.

Hi yourself, I reply, still holding up Dana.

Need some help? She asks the question seductively. How can she think this is *****?

Sure, if you want to.

With the help of my new blond friend, I put Dana in the middle of the seat. The blonde and I get in on either side and I start the drive to Alices.

As I pull into the parking lot at Alices place, I open my cell phone and call her apartment. It looks like the lights on, I hope shes still up.

Hello?

Alice, its Shane. I dont know what hotel Danas staying at so I brought her to your place. Were in the parking lot right now.

What? Why dont you ASK her where shes staying? I didnt want to do that. That would mean that I have to put her to bed and I dont have time for that right now.

Alice, were already here. Besides she passed out as soon as we got her to the truck.

Fine, bring her up, she finally agrees.

Dana, I call my charges name to no avail. I gently slap her face as I call her name again. Dana, I say, finally getting her to open her eyes.

I think Im gonna be sick, she says. I move quickly out of her way as she rushes for the bushes. When shes done with her business, I help her up and walk her to Alices door. I knock and the swings open.

Hi, Alice, Dana says.

How many drinks did you have, Alice asks her. She wont be able to answer that.

Dana seems to be trying to figure out how many drinks she had. She finally shows three fingers and says, only two. I dunno what happened, but I drink Im thunk.