Carmen didnt answer her for a long while. She just stared out at the traffic, watching the cars go by. It wasnt a busy street, they were only about a block from Shanes. Carmens moved finally, waking Shane from her quiet wait. She reached for the keys without saying anything and started the truck. Shane sat back, sighing inwardly but staying deadly quiet and still on the outside. In seconds they were in the driveway. Carmen got out, as did Shane. They walked into the house and Carmen closed the door.

Shane walked to the couch and put her head in her hands. Carmen leaned against the door and sighed. After a few more moments the silence was broken, Shanes breathing was so quiet even she hear it. She stayed still, listening to Carmens soft words. When I was about 15, I fell in love with boy named Tanner. He was cute, strong and pretty funny. He hung out with the dangerous crowd and as much as he was bad, he was really sweet to me. I stayed with him for a long time. I knew we didnt have the real deal, but he was a pretty good boyfriend. Something to pass the time while I waited for- life to come around, Carmen sighed deeply again and Shane blinked, holding her eyes closed for a long time, waiting still. Carmen came and sat beside her on the couch. Laying an arm on Shanes hunched back, not caressing it like she usually would have just resting it there.

I had this friend Brandy. She was new to school when we met, she was beautiful, and very cool in my eyes. She hated our school, so that made her bad something I liked. She smoked, blazed, but she wasnt a stoner, she just had a hard life growing up like any of us had. She was misunderstood. Misunderstood described me in one word. But not to anyone else, everybody thought of me as the quiet but funny Latina. Only I knew that I was pretty mixed up inside, Carmens hands moved in light circles now very- very slowly. Shanes bottom lip quivered slightly, waiting for it still.

Brandy and I used to flirt innocently at school, both of us being jokers I used to brush it off. Till I really started thinking one day. The day Tanner and I broke up. I started to think about how hot Brandy was, and about how maybe there could be underlying desires in our innocent flirtation. For my part at least. I also knew that Brandy had been with a female before. A couple of times when she was drunk. But she always told me she wasnt *****, Shane lifted her head finally. Looking Carmen deep deep, into her eyes as she told the rest of her story. One night we were at a party, I got drunk and Brandy and I ended up in the party-throwers master bedroom. We fucked. I came out laughing and hanging off her arm. I finally felt as if I had put a bunch of the pieces of my messed up puzzle together. I felt complete and satisfied. So anyways, we walked out of the bedroom and theres Tanner, standing there white as a ghost. So he blows up, starts yelling and throwing things. He picks up a vase and throws it actually throws it at me. Me! Carmen sunk back into the memory for the first time, instead of remembering it as a spectator. Shane noticed her retreated and was mesmerized by the emotions that played out thoughtfully on her face.