"I mean… I love Alice"

"You love Alice?" Tina interrupted.

"Yeah… I…"

"Wow" Tina interrupted Bette again.

"No… no… I mean… I love Alice… but I don’t think I’m in love with Al… and I don’t know what to do" Bette exhaled the big breathe she wasn’t aware she was holding. This wasn’t an easy subject for her to approach with anyone, not even Shane.

"Oh… I see… I’m sorry Bette… I’ve been bitching about my problems and… clearly you have big ones as well…"

"T… it’s ok… I just… I don’t wanna hurt her… she doesn’t deserve it… and I feel so guilty… so so guilty…" Bette looked very sad, which made Tina’s heart shrink.

"Look Bette, the way I see it… you have to talk to her, because the more you wait… the more you’ll hurt her when she realizes that your feelings are not in the right place"

"I know… I just don’t wanna loose her you know… she’s especial and she deserves to be loved and protected… and I feel like… even though I want to… I can’t give her that…"

"I’m sorry to hear that Bette, I really am. Relationships can be so difficult…"

"I know… and that’s the thing… I have absolutely no idea of what you expect out of a relationship… but I somehow do know that this is not… that it doesn’t…"

"Complete you?" Tina once more interrupted Bette.

"You need to stop reading my mind" Bette smiled to Tina.

"It’s just so hard… but why? Why is it so difficult to find someone who you are attuned with?"

"I wouldn’t know about that… I just felt… I guess I liked Alice a lot… but that attraction turned into a friendship… more than a… more than anything else"

"Well… I guess we’re both disappointed… but for different reasons…"

Tina smiled. Bette melted.

"Yeah… and I’m really sorry about you and Brian" Bette admitted maybe with a little more joy than she should have.

"The guy is a complete moron… I just have no idea of what the hell I saw in him you know…"

"Well… I’m sure he had good things going on as well…"

"No Bette… he really had none…"

"Was it really that bad?" Bette asked incredulous.

"It was worse than bad… it was awful. He is a complete and utter idiot, and the worst part is… he probably thinks I’m the problem… that I have the problem because I left him…" It was Tina’s turn to be defeated.

"T? Can I make a confession?" Tina nodded in agreement.

"A couple of months ago… when I was starting out with Alice… I went in the cafeteria and saw you and Brian and a couple of others… and I really… really wondered to myself… what the hell you were doing with him…" Bette looked both ashamed and afraid after releasing that statement.

Tina remained silent. Bette looked scared.

"I’m sorry T… I… I really didn’t…"

"No Bette… that’s fine… I mean… I just wonder why we never talk about these things… why for example you didn’t say anything to me… if you had these thoughts…"

"Well… you know… I adore being with you and I feel… like I can talk to you about anything… so I guess I don’t wanna loose that by… maybe doing the wrong remarks? After all who the fuck am I to give you my opinions?"

Tina exhaled a big breathe.

"You are my friend Bette… and I don’t want you to ever be afraid of giving me an opinion… that’s one of the many things friends are for, right?"

Yeah… friends… if you only knew… was all Bette was thinking.

"What are you thinking?" Tina asked when she saw the troubled expression on Bette’s face.

"That you are indeed right… and I’m sorry… I should have said something"

How can I be such a coward? Again Bette’s thoughts giving her a hard time.

Tina smiled again. Bette melted again.

"That’s okay… so what are you gonna do about Alice?"

"I think I’m gonna follow your advice… but I should have known better… relationships are something I can’t really do…"

Tina’s smile grew in tenderness if that was at all possible.

"Well… I’ll be there for you if you need me… you know you just have to knock at my door"

Fuck… Shane is right… I so have a straight girl crush…