‘If she rejects you then she wasn’t worth knowing anyway, I mean straight girls, who needs em, they’re never going to really get you, right?’

Alexa bristled, tired of having to explain herself, thinking of Rachel, how she did get her in almost everyway, how she knew when to back off unlike this pushy friend of Helena’s.

‘Everything in my life isn’t about being a lesbian.’

‘But there must be so many things you can’t talk about.’

‘You know what, there are so many things we can, many things that have nothing to do with sex with women or men.’

‘Like what?  I still say it’s impossible to totally bond with a straight girl.’ asked Alice amused.

Alexa sighed.  ‘Like everything.  We talk about our families, our childhoods, about the weight of expectation placed upon us.  We talk about religion and politics and celebrity gossip and fashion about all the things we wish we could change in the world and all the things we know we can’t. Yes she should accept me in an ideal world, maybe she would but it’s a risk perhaps not to the entire fabric of our relationship but to the small nuances, to the level of intimacy you build up with years of knowing a friend, for her to find out that the girl she thought she knew everything about isn’t entirely what she seemed, that will mess with her head. She may not be a lesbian Rachel, but she’s still my best friend.’

Alice was stunned into silence by Alexa’s passionate speech.  This baby dyke of Helena’s was stronger than she looked. 

Bette exchanged a smile with Helena, now fully understanding the attraction Helena felt for this intelligent young woman.

Alexa felt a little awkward.  ‘Excuse me a moment,’ she said and walked outside onto the terrace to lean against the rail, thinking of her friends, her life, hating the way Alice made it sound.

She felt Helena’s presence behind her as she wrapped her arms around her.

‘Ok baby?’ Helena asked.

‘Yes, I’m a little tired,’ she admitted.  ‘I’m sorry for going off on one that way.’

Helena kissed her neck softly.  ‘Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve seen anyone derail Alice?  That was fantastic!  Bette was utterly impressed.’

Alexa stroked Helena’s arm that was around her waist.  ‘I wasn’t trying to impress anyone Helena.  It’s just, I know you and your friends are living the lesbian dream here, I’m glad to experience it and I envy you, I do.  I want to make some changes and I will but that doesn’t mean that everything up and until now, all my friendships have been invalid that they don’t matter because they do.’ 

‘I know how much you love them.  I know that it hurts you to lie to them,’ said Helena softly

Alexa just nodded sadly.

Helena turned Alexa around to face her in her arms.  ‘I want to know you the way they do,’ she admitted.  ‘The way Rachel does, not just Alexa the girl finally exploring her sexuality but Alexa the whole person.’

‘I want to know you that way too,’ said Alexa. 

‘Are you sorry you followed me here?’ asked Helena not sure she wanted to see the answer.

Alexa looked into Helena’s beautiful, warm eyes and watched the way the sun made her hair shimmer.  ‘I’d follow you anywhere,’ she felt her heart say but instead forced out a more appropriate answer.

‘Of course not.‘You haven’t even shown me the beach you promised yet,’ and Alexa kissed Helena’s remaining doubts away.