Previously..

"I…can’t breathe."

"I just can’t breathe…..fuck!"

…………..

"Night." I inform the closed door, turning and
walking towards my apartment, chanting repeatedly. "She is a friend..she
is friend….just a friend. I am not a home wrecker…not a home wrecker."

…………

Chapter 12

I lunge for the phone by the bed after the fourth ring.
Cradling it against my left ear as I industriously tower my wet hair dry.

"Darling." A voice on the side of the line drawls
softly.

"Hey..how is everything in New York? The auction went
alright?"

"Yes. Everything is so hectic here, I am sorry I
haven’t called sooner."

"It’s alright. Say hi to mom for me."

"I will. I wish you are here." My wife says
longingly, bringing a smile to my face.

"..you know, that can be arranged..I could.."

Before I could finish, Helena cut me off. "No no….you
don’t have to do that, love. I know you have that important contract to sign
this Friday."

Another sigh. "Don’t worry about me. I am just feeling
cranky and missing you."

"Then hurry back."

"I wish I could. You are not going to like what I am
about to tell darling…."

"Yeah?" I don’t know why I get all tense up and
begin to brace myself for something unknown.

"Mom needs me here for a few more days. I don’t have
the heart to say no…I am so sorry, darling."

I breathe out a non-vocal sigh of relief.  I don’t know where this fear comes from. This
fear of what….I just couldn’t quite put my fingers on it. I know I have to
start trusting my wife…and I am working damn hard on it.

"Mmmm…if that’s the case, do whatever you have to do to
help mom while you are there. Don’t worry about me."

"Tsk…I will always worry about you. It’s my
job."

Helena lets out a yawn. She must be tired.

"It’s late. Get some rest, don’t stay up too
late." I toss the wet towel over to the arm chair and massage my tired
eyes.

"You too, my love. Try not get into trouble, okay?"

I laugh heartily. "You sound like a mother."

"I want to be a mother. A mother to your child..our
child."

There is sadness in Helena’s voice so profound our
breathings stop momentarily.

I regain my composure first.

"Helena, we talked about this…I…I.." I shake
my head slightly and try again. "I don’t think we are ready to have child
now."

"Shhhh…I know. I know." Tiredness is obvious in
her voice. "I am sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today…now is
not the time or the place to talk about this."

I remain silent for a few beats. "Let’s get some sleep,
ok…we’ll talk more when you get back."

"You gonna be ok by yourself for a few days? Do I have
to tell Jenny to cancel any appointments you are going to have with another
female without my presence there?" My wife tries to lighten the mood.

I chuckle. "Fire Jenny then. She is a female and she is
always around me in the office without your presence."

Helena mocks threaten. "Jenny knows better than to try
anything stupid with you. Besides, you have much better taste."

"I can’t agree more." I allow myself to laugh more
easily now.

"I trust you my darling." Sincerity is genuine in
my wife’s voice.

I should respond ‘me too’. But I simply couldn’t bring
myself to respond like that.

"Thank you." I hope Helena doesn’t sense my
reluctance.

"Is there anything you want to tell me before I go? I
might not be able to call you tomorrow. My schedule is very tight."

"No…not much."

"Alright, good night darling. I’ll miss you."

"Miss you too. Good night. Oh..there is party at Ti-"
The line goes dead before I couldn’t finish my sentence.

I put the phone away and dim the light. My mind wanders to
Tina. What happened between us…was it all a dream…dreams? Mmm…plurals…I
dreamt about those dreams a few times…..too surreal. I let mind wander
randomly then I let out a chuckle. Tina’s birthday…her four year old
birthday. I hope she won’t remember I stole her first kiss.

************