An unexpected pain stab at my heart.  I don’t want last night to add to your pain, love.

There is a change in Bette’s breathing…she is waking up.

I shut my eyes quickly, keeping very still. The bed moves as she gently and carefully remove her arm around me and scoot away.

I miss her warmth immediately but I dare not open my eyes. Should I let her slip away quietly and we never talk about this?

Bette moves about on the bed. She is scooting further and further away from me, keeping very quiet. She doesn’t want to wake me.

After a few beats, I can still feel her presence in the room.

Taking a deep breath, I open my eyes slowly..ready to face her.

My gaze meets her sculpted back. She is sitting on the edge of the bed, her shoulders hunch forward, one hand massaging her forehead. Anguish and pain evident in her body language.

I close my eyes again, letting tears fall freely. All I want to do is wrap my arms around her and take away whatever pain she is experiencing but I can’t. I am not her wife. I am nothing to her.

******************

Oh god…what have I done?

I glance around the dim room, finding empty bottles everywhere. I am a fucking idiot! How could I do that to Tina…how could I let myself lose control and…

I am painfully aware of the ring on my ring finger.

Helena.

My sweet wife. She is doing all she can to try and salvage our marriage and I did this to her the first instance her back is turned.

There will be consequences and I deliberately block them out from my mind for now.

I turn my head and study the sleeping figure. Basking in the early morning rays, Tina is a picture of true beauty. She is on her side, facing me, asleep. The sheets pool around her waist, exposing full creamy breasts and her slender frame. My heart races as heated moments with Tina flash through my mind.

My clit throbs now remembering how hard I came. My stomach clenches tightly as unexpected arousal jolts me just watching the rise and fall of her chest as she draws breaths rhythmatically. I am not sexually broken.

Thank you, Tina. You have given me back something I have been missing for a long time and I thought I’d never get back.

I allow myself to surrender to her totally. The ultimate pleasure freed my soul. There is no fear, no distrust, no pain when I am with this woman I barely know.

How did you do it, Tina? How did you manage to disarm me with one look, one smile?

You have been right all along, Tina. My problem is not a physical condition. I touch my chest…my problem is inside here. I let tears fall.

I cannot believe it takes this to force me to confront my problems with Helena. I couldn’t deny it any longer. Yes, I am still feeling resentful towards Helena.

I resent that she broke us.
I resent that she let a dick inside her.
I resent that I cannot say no to her desperate plea for forgiveness because I love her that much.
I resent that she takes my heart and shred it into pieces.

A strangled cry leaves my throat.
An unexpected warmth covers my naked back, soft arms come around my waist, soft kisses rain on my shoulder blade. Suddenly my world is alright again…as long as I can hide here.

*******************