“That’s true it is hard. Really hard. I know I haven’t been good at it.” Ruthie looks into Harper’s eyes, “But I did learn to stop saying it.”

Harper looks back at her, knowing, remembering. How many times had Ruthie told her they’d be together forever? She couldn’t remember an exact number. “It’s a tricky thing to tell someone, just like I love you.”

Ruthie feels the impact of that directly in her heart. She knows it was a dig. “You’re absolutely right. And with time comes knowledge and understanding. I’ve learned a lot from my mistakes. You know what mistake I regret the most?” Harper just looks at Ruthie preparing herself for the answer she knows is coming. “Letting you get away. I destroyed something so wonderful, someone so wonderful. All because I was a coward. I know I broke up with the wrong person.”

For years Harper longed to hear those words from her. For years Harper wanted nothing more then to have Ruthie beg for her back. Until now she hadn’t realized that she’d stopped having those feelings. When had she stopped? “I don’t know what to say Ruthie.” And that is true. Had she said this when Harper was still nursing her wounded heart she would’ve yelled at her. Said ‘***** you for breaking my heart.’ Had she said all this when Harper was passed her grief and just lonely and missing her, she would’ve cried and said ‘I still love you.’ But now she finds herself sitting across from Ruthie indifferent. Part of her wants to shrug her shoulders and say, ‘yeah well, you fucked up but it doesn’t really matter now.’ Harper is so lost in her thoughts that she almost doesn’t realize Ruthie is talking again.

“Do you know I compare every girl to you. No one has ever made me feel the way you did Harper.” Ruthie’s eyes look teary.

“I used to do that too.” And this is why Harper’s dating history was so spotty for awhile. No one could compare to Ruthie so why bother? Why waste her time? She searches her mind, when was the last time she compared? Her brain comes up with her Ex as an answer. She didn’t think of Ruthie with Alice or Dana. Used to be any girl who even caught her eye would immediately get the comparison. “But I don’t any more.” Harper eyes fill with apology as she looks at Ruthie. “I’m sorry.”