She didnt even think before she called her. She needed her to come and hold her. To tell her everything was going to be ok.

Even though it never would be again.

But, it was still a shock when she heard Tinas voice on the other end of the phone. She hadnt even realised she had called her. She had just done it automatically, because she knew that she needed Tina now more than ever.

Tinas voice cut straight through her defences and shook her out of the daze shed been in for the past 24 hours. Made her realise that it wasnt just a horrible dream. That it was real.

And she broke down completely.

******

Tinas heart sank when she saw Bettes cell number on the caller display. This last month Bette had been trying desperately to talk to her. Shed had an email every morning, a call every evening, and every few days Bette would turn up at Alices asking to see her. But Tina had ignored her. Deleted the messages and locked herself in Alices spare bedroom when she came round.

But Bette just wasnt getting the hint.

Tina felt a wave of rage begin to rise in her throat. How dare Bette call her while she was at work?! She knew shed gone back to work, Alice had told her, so what was she doing ringing her at 11 on a Tuesday morning?

Against her better judgement she let her anger take over, and she answered the call, fully intending to give Bette an ear-bashing.

What the ***** are you playing at? Why dont you realise

She stopped suddenly when she heard the heart-wrenching sobs on the other end of the phone. This wasnt another of Bettes slightly tearful apologies, with a few sniffles thrown in as she begged Tina to come back. She could hear the difference in her crying. She was in agony. She was desperate.

Bette?

The crying increased, and her heart stopped when she heard the sound of something smash, then a dull thud.

Baby, are you ok? Tina was really worried. Bette never cried. Not like this.

*****

~Baby, please, talk to me. Whats going on? Are you ok?~

II Bette tried to speak, but she was crying too hard. She couldnt stop the sobs long enough to catch her breath, let alone speak. God, why

I need you, she blurted, somehow managing to form the words. Tplease

~Im here baby. What do you need me to do? Where are you?~

ImIm at the house.

~Ill come round. Will you be alright till I get there?~

Yes

~Ill be half an hour.~

She heard the line go dead, and she let the phone drop out of her hand. It shattered, but she didnt care. She didnt care about anything.

Crouching into a ball, she put her head in her hands and just let the tears fall.

****

Tina was already half out of the office, jacket and keys in hand, before shed ended the call. She didnt even consider the fact that this was the first time shed spoken to Bette since shed walked out, and shed just gone running to her aid. All she knew was that Bette needed her.

And she still loved her. Still wanted to ease her pain.

She told her boss she had a family emergency and ran to her car. As she pulled out of the car park she called Alice, and told her what was going on. Alice, being her usual self, wondered if Bette was just faking to get Tina to come to her, but Tina knew it was real.

Al, you didnt hear her. She wasI cant describe it. I know something awful has happened. We were together seven years. I cant just turn off my feelings for her. She needs me.

Alice still sounded doubtful, but agreed that Tina was doing the right thing. After promising to call as soon as she knew what was going on, Tina hung up and concentrated on weaving in and out of the Los Angeles traffic.

Twenty five minutes later, Tina pulled into the drive of her old home, noting with surprise that Bettes car wasnt there. As she was making her way up to the front porch it struck her that she should feel some kind of sadness at coming back to the place that had held her best – and worst – memories.

But all she felt was panic.

She hadnt been able to face taking her key back to Bette, so she let herself into the house, her worry overriding all other emotions. She dropped her bag at the door and walked further into the house, briefly wondering why all the blinds were down.

What she saw when she turned the corner to the living room made her heart stop.

Bette was crouched in the corner, her face pressed into her legs as her shoulders heaved with silent sobs. The table next to her had been knocked over, the vase it had held smashed into little pieces.

Smashed into little pieces. Just like Bette.

*****

She heard the door open, but couldnt find the energy or the will to get up. What was the point? There was no point in anything anymore.

The footsteps came nearer, and she heard a gasp. A few seconds later Tina was there, she could smell her, hear her voice and feel her embrace round her shoulders.

Oh God, Bettebaby, Im here. Everythings ok, Im here.

Tina rubbed her back as she pulled her in tight, saying words that Bette barely heard. She just flung her arms round Tinas waist and held on for dear life as she cried.

*****

Oh God, Bettebaby, Im here. Everythings ok, Im here.

Tina cringed as she heard herself say those words. She was completely lost; shed never seen Bette this way before and she didnt know what to do.

Suddenly Bettes sobs werent silent anymore; they were so loud, and Tina felt a pain shoot through her heart as Bettes arms went round her and pulled her closer.

Let it all out, she whispered, smoothing her hair as Bette buried her head in her neck. Ive got you. Youre safe.

*****

She cried until she felt she had no more tears left in her body. Tina held her all that time, rocking her and stroking her hair comfortingly. Tina said she was safe, and she felt it. She felt safe for the first time intoo long.

When shed managed to get her breath back, Tina guided her over to the sofa, drawing her into her arms as they sat down. After a few minutes of silence, Tina finally spoke, asking the question shed been dreading.

Bette, whats happened?

*****

As soon as she asked it, she felt Bette tense up. When Bette turned her head and made eye contact for the first time she almost recoiled at the anguish she saw there, and for a moment she was worried that she was going to start crying again. But, her eyes also held exhaustion, and she knew Bette was all cried out.

Cmon, youve got to tell me, she murmured encouragingly, reaching out to push Bettes unkempt hair behind her ear.

*****

Ive got tell her. Ive got to tell her that

I cant. I cant do it. Im not strong enough. If I say the words, theres no going back. Its happened and its real. I cant say them.

Can I?

*****

Tina watched as a fearful expression came over Bettes face, and she ached to take away her pain. But, until she knew what was going on, she couldnt.

Whats happened? she asked again, resting her palm against Bettes tear stained cheek and caressing it.

Bette opened her mouth to speak, then shut it abruptly and took a deep breath.

Kits dead.