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    So Sorry I Scratched that Seven Year Itch…5

    Bette was curled up in a ball on the couch. She had sobbed until she just couldnt cry another tear. Damn! What the ***** had happened? She had thought it had been bad when she had come home that night and found Tina so upset. When she had tried to hold Tina only to have been thrown away and then pounded by those windmilling arms. Tina had been so out of control! Bette had grabbed her, held her down, and tried to control her. But there had been no controlling Tina!

    That was not the Tina she had seen tonight. This Tina had been in total control. Each word had been shot from the gun with perfect precision. Every word was a direct hit to Bettes heart. Every word had been the Gods’ honest truth. Tina had stood by her every step of the way, only to be repaid by betrayal.

    Well at least she now knew now exactly what Tina was feeling. Bette had known she had hurt Tina by being unfaithful, but had not understood how emotionally abandoned Tina had felt. Bette had not shown Tina her pain over the loss of their baby. She had tried so hard to stay strong, supposedly for Tina, an in doing so, had again deprived Tina.

    There had been no sharing of emotions, no giving of herself. Tina had basically been cut out of Bettes grief process and been left to feel like she was the only one who was suffering the loss. Oh sure, she had been there for Tina to lean on and hold onto, but not emotionally. Bette had not let Tina feel that she wasnt alone in the pain.

    Bette had thought that there might be a reunion tonight. That maybe she could find the words to explain. That maybe Tina was ready to listen and open her heart back up to Bette. She was prepared to truthfully answer any question Tina might pose. She had had such high hopes. How was she supposed to know that there would be no opportunity to explain?

    And what if she had been given the opportunity to explain? She still wouldnt have done a proper job of it because she hadnt known, until right this moment, what she really had to explain for. It wasnt just the *****; it went much deeper than that!

    Tina was so strong; she was such a fighter. When she believed in something, she fought tooth and nail to support it. Well, she had made Tina lose her belief in them. What if Tina didnt give her another chance? God, she loved Tina so much. She couldnt just give her up! She would fight for their love. There was no way she could let Tina go, not if she was supposed to continue breathing!

    How could she ever have thought she had fallen out of love with that spitfire? God, if anything, she only loved her more! She just had to get her back. She would somehow find the words, and prayed with all her heart that Tina to listen to them.


    Tina had returned to Alices house, taken a shower and gone directly to bed. She knew Alice wanted her to stay up and talk for a while, but Tina had said she was tired and maybe they could talk tomorrow.

    Tina didnt even know how she felt at this moment. All she knew was that she was emotionally drained. This had not been the kind of evening she had expected; not that she knew what she had been expecting. Everything had been going fine. Then Bette had said she wasnt sure how to start, didnt know how to explain, and Tina had just lost it. Bette had plenty of time to come up with some kind of explanation. Apparently it hadnt been important enough to even come up with a reasonable lie! Once Tina had started talking, she just couldnt stop. She had surprised herself with her tirade. She had held nothing back. She just couldnt seem to stop.

    Apparently she hadnt dealt with this situation as well as she had led herself to believe. The affair was not the only problem to deal with. She had not really dealt with the pain of the betrayal either. She had merely pushed the pain aside, hoping to go back and recapture their relationship.

    But they were not ready for that. They still had to deal with the issues that had gotten them to this point. The thing that scared Tina the most was that she didnt think Bette was even aware that there were any other problems.


    Comments

    1. you cant take back the hurt that you do to some one bette has a long way to go to get tina back she needs to look back on her actions. then move forward, keep the stories they are wonderful

    2. Yes, Bette is the asshole in this conflict, but I must state again that Tina needs to share some of the blame for the demise of their relationship. I hope this can be further explored in subsequent chapters somehow. Don’t get me wrong, I love (lurrv) Tina, who has every right to be pissed off and broken by Bette’s affair. I just feel both of them need to evaluate how they even got to this point of uncertainty and doubt after seven years.

      Looking forward to the next reading, which I hope is flows more like the last chapter. This one left me feeling a little flat, though it’s still a decent read.
      :-)

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