SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL

Chapter 1

Tina didn’t need the high pitched  and falsely positive voice of the DJ to tell her that it was time to wake up. She had been awake all bloody night and it hadn’t been until almost 5am that she had slipped into a restless sleep. It was now nearly 8am.

8am  – 4 hours to go. But what was four hours when she had waited four years for today to arrive. She picked her phone up and looked again at the date –  yes – this was the day that she had waited for for so long.She rolled out of bed and instead of going for a shower which would wake her up she headed in search of coffee. She needed something to wake her up and it was only coffee at that time in the morning.

.
Sitting reading the New York Times Kate Kennard eyes restlessly kept looking at the clock on the oven and glancing at the kitchen door. She knew what today was – she had known what today was for four years. When Tina had told her two years ago that when she and Bette her high school sweetheart girlfriend had gone their separate ways they had agreed to meet up after their graduation.. The  trouble with looking ahead to certain days – eventually they arrived and you had to deal with them the best way you could.
Kate had woke up with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach – so heavens only knew how Tina would be feeling.
“Hello “ Tina walked in – she was just wearing a white shirt that showed off her great figure, long blonde hair and tanned legs.
“Hello darling – how are you ? Would you like some coffee ?”
“Please “
Kate jumped up and grabbing a cup she poured Tina a fresh cup of coffee and handed it to her as they both sat down at the kitchen table. Kate could read her daughter – fresh out of Harvard with a great degree in English and Law she had changed so much in the fours years of college but  she would always be her little girl. Tina’s hands were shaking – that told Kate what this day meant to her only child
“Want to talk ?”
“I don’t know where to start “
“Anywhere you want honey “
“Why the hell did we both think that we had to go our separate ways when we went to college – we could have worked our way round it — why the hell did everyone think it was the right thing for both of us ?”
“We knew how hard it would be for both of you “
Kate had known at the time that suggesting that Bette and Tina go their separate ways when they left High School to go to college had been wrong. They were in love and totally crazy about each other but Bette had been accepted to Yale and after a lot of hard work Tina had been accepted into Harvard. After four years Kate couldn’t remember who had suggested that they go their separate ways. Deep down she thought it was Emma her wife, if it had been it was an idea she regretted now. She had seen, like Kate had how much Tina had pined for Bette her first girlfriend and lover. Theirs had been the sort of ideal relationship you don’t often have as high school seniors – getting them together had been tough on both sides but once it had happened – it had happened big style. Tina and Bette were inseparable and unlike a lot of high school seniors who were lovers they did actually study when they were together. She wasn’t foolish enough not to know that they also slept together a lot but it had been not hard to face as a parents because it was clear that Tina was with someone who loved her and treated her with total respect.
It had broken Tina’s heart when Bette had left first for Yale. It had broke Emma and Kate’s hearts to see their daughter so devastated – and they had thought it was for the best – they had thought that Bette and Tina would go their own ways and both find other lovers. Kate looked at Tina who looked pale.
“You didn’t sleep well did you ?”
“God no – I couldn’t find a movie to watch and the ones I found all made me worse”
“The last thing you needed was something that makes you cry”
Tina nodded and tried to control her hold over the coffee mug long enough to take a sip of it.
“Would you like something to eat ?”
“I couldn’t hold it down mom”
Kate nodded and put her hand on Tina’s
“I spoke to Rosemary last night”
Tina tensed “ Is she ?”
Kate nodded “Bette is okay – don’t worry”
“Is she going to show up today. Is she in New York ?”
“Yes – of course she is – this was her idea”
“She might have changed her mind “ Tina said
Kate raised an eyebrow at her daughter “ Do you think she has ?”
“No – unless she’s had a total personality change she will be at New York Central Station at noon today “
“She will “
“Do you have any idea what is happening in her life ?”
“Bette blames Melvin for parting the two of you and while they get on well with her — there is a tension. Bette doesn’t often come home but she is in New York”
Kate didn’t add that Bette had moved back to New York and had her own apartment due to an inheritance from her grandfather.
“She loves them both”
“They love her – but she is angry still – doesn’t that tell you that something”
“I don’t know – tell me something honestly “
Kate nodded
“Have you seen Bette – in the last four years ?”
“Once – the Christmas break of your first year. She saw me and just cried”
Tina covered her face “Oh God “
“She was just as lovely to look at and her long hair was pinned on the top of her head which made her look about 25.”
“What did you do ?”
“I hugged her – there was nothing else I could have done”
“You could have told me that you had seen her “
“Would you have thanked me for it ?”
“Yes “
“I know you think  that it was the wrong thing to do but how would the two of you have faced a distance of 230 miles ?”
“We would have found a way “
“How – I know you resent Emma and me and I know that Bette is still mad with Melvin but it’s a near 3 hour journey one way. Its not how to have a relationship”
“We never gave it a try “
“And you blame us for that “
“No “ Tina stood up “I blame myself for listening and I blame Bette for being weak enough to think that somehow we would have stopped each other studying for a degree. We were 19 and we didn’t know any different – now we are both 23 – I guess a lot has happened to her – I know it has for me. We are not kids any more”
“I know you aren’t – you are a young graduate with your whole future ahead of you”
“And should I be seeing Bette again because it will distract me from finding a job”
Tina said loudly “ I know what mom said last night. There will always be a reason for me not to see Bette again. You can give me every cliché in the book – you shouldn’t go back, you cannot recreate the last, first love is never the true love – let me know if I have missed any of these pearls of wisdom out – I know mom thinks I should be job hunting today and not meeting my first love to see what has happened with her in four years”
Kate wished Emma was around to defend herself because she didn’t think she could.
“Your mom just feels that it took you a long time to get over Bette and it will be opening old wounds to see her again”
“God – does my mother have to speak in fucking clichés the whole time”
“Tina – there is no need to swear “
“I feel like swearing  – I have missed Bette – don’t you get that ? Don’t you both see that all the relationships I have had in three years have not been a patch on what I had with her ? That no one has respected me and loved me and been loyal to me like Bette”
“You were both only 17 when you got together ”
“17 years old and Bette  was kind and chivalrous and tender – there is no age restriction on treating people right and Bette just did . I didn’t think that the way she behaved was so out of the norm until I started dating college girls and god they were vile little shits – all of them out of the Helena Peabody school of charm. I have missed Bette – missed her smile and her easy going nature and everything else”
“Its easy to idealise what you two had “
“You suck delivering mom’s lines “ Tina said sarcastically
Kate was about to yell at Tina but realised her daughter was right
“I know -please sit down honey – we can talk like grown ups – no clichés I promise”
Tina sat down and sighed
“I miss her – there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t thought about her or wanted to find out how to get to Yale and just see her”
“What stopped you ?”
“Being angry – angry that I wasn’t with her and then it was fear”
“Fear ?”
“From really early on – I think I had only been away a couple of weeks and yes it’s an anxiety dream – I dreamt of finding her and she was making love to someone else”
“That is an anxiety dream “
“I know – I took psychology 101 and looked that up on day 1. I know what it is – but I couldn’t make it go away”
“Any conclusions ?”
“No – I thought it would stop when I started dating other girls”
“Its didn’t ?”
“No – got worse “
Kate smiled “Dreams don’t always mean what they seem “