“I know that as well “ Tina steadied her hand and drank a large amount of her coffee
“Bette and I got no sort of closure – we parted because we had to – not because we wanted to or because one of us wanted to be with someone else. For four years that had nagged away at me mom – today I have to see Bette and I have to talk to her because without closure I don’t think I can move on”
“Tell me its none of my business but do you think you still love her ?”
When Tina fixed Kate with her deep hazel eyes she looked so like her other mother that it was scary
“I don’t think I still love Bette – I know I do and I haven’t stopped loving her for one minutes of one day of four years. I just don‘t know how things have been for her”
Kate had been told stuff by Rosemary – Bette’s mom. Like that Bette was even more beautiful – like she had graduated with a First Class degree – like she had her own nice apartment. Kate had debated with Rosemary whether to tell Tina any of this. In the end they agreed that they had somehow managed to keep their own counsel for four years. They had stayed silent because there was nothing they could do about the separation of their daughters. They stayed silent because when they should have spoken up  – they hadn’t. It sat as badly with Kate as it did with Rosemary – they both should have stood up for their daughters but they hadn’t . Kate regretted not saying anything – the only one of them who had stood up for Tina had been her father. That had been something that had annoyed Emma but as the years went by Kate thought that he had been right and Emma had been wrong. Kate’s crime had been not to take a side – not to insist that they all talk it through.
“I don’t know what to say darling. I want you to be happy “
“I have had a good time at college but there was always something missing. There was always one person who I wanted around. I lost count of the number of times I wanted to ask her something – to get her take on life. You know she used to always just know what to say – and what not to say “
“I was looking at some photos the other day “
Tina looked at her mother – trust Emma to go to work early to miss Tina. And trust Kate to stay around to be the support that she knew her daughter needed.
“The photos were of us all when we went to Miami “
Tina smiled “ My tennis tantrum “
Kate nodded “You were scared about the future  but the two of you looked so right together. You have matured a lot “
Tina smiled “ I haven’t looked at those pictures for a while – it was a great holiday and I know that not many moms would take their 17 year old lesbian daughter and her girlfriend on holiday -it was great of you”
Kate shrugged “ We were being pragmatic – I knew you would hate any holiday without Bette and your mom and I wanted a holiday without having to supervise you the whole time”
“I do think about that holiday – it was really the only holiday Bette and I had. She insisted on getting a job after high school so we didn’t get to go away”
Kate looked at Tina
“What do you really want from seeing Bette ? Do you want her back ?”
“I have no idea “
“Come on Tina – there is no one here just us – tell me the truth “
“I want to see her again to see what has happened in her life. Yes we were lovers but she was also my best friend. I adored her – she was so funny and wise and she knew what to say when I was freaking out. I want to know how college has changed her. I want to see her and see how she has grown “

Kate had seen a photograph of Bette and if Tina had been under her girlfriend’s spell back four years ago well seeing her now would know her off her feet. And that was the dilemma that Kate was wrestling with  – she understood why Tina needed to see Bette but it was going to open a whole other load of problems. Tina would want to sleep with Bette again  – how could she not.What four years at college had done was make Bette Porter four years more attractive and a lot more sophisticated .Tina would fall again for Bette. What Kate didn’t know because Rosemary didn’t know was how Bette felt. Kate didn’t want her daughter to get hurt and that could happen but was it better to get hurt and at least KNOW where you stood with your ex girlfriend ?
And there was always the chance that maybe they would find they did want to be together. That wouldn’t please Emma who had been so instrumental in them going their separate ways. And if  they got together again it would be proof that Emma had been wrong and Emma never admitted that without a gun to her head.