Shane wasn’t sure what to say next – she looked at Tina who was glancing at her watch. Tina was right – they all had things to be doing that did not involve sitting in this café all day doing the verbal equivalent of pulling teeth with Alice.

“Alice – every single contact in your address book got a copy of you and Jenny fucking with the dog as spectator “

This was obviously too much for Alice

“You lot have got to stop fucking pulling my chain – its not funny anymore”

“Alice – this is not a joke now and it was not a joke at fucking 6am this morning when I

checked my emails “ Helena snapped

“I mean it – if you four don’t stop fucking around I am going “

“Alice – we are not taking the piss, yanking your chain or anything else – we are telling the

truth “ Shane said shaking her head

“No – you have seen these pictures and now you are going over the top by winding me up with

this stupid story “

“Alice – who do you know that owns a 99 cents store in Utah ?” Tina asked “Or in Abercrombie and Finch ?”

Alice looked baffled “No idea what you are talking about Kennard “

Bette often called Tina “Kennard “ – in fact it was a standing joke with all of them to refer to

each other by their surnames but there was something nasty in the way that Alice was

referring to Tina. She didn’t like it and if it wasn’t for the fact that Alice didn’t know how deep the shit she was in – Bette would be taking her outside and slapping her for insulting her partner

“I give up “ Tina said “I do not have time for this – I have to spend the morning with my fucking vile ex. Alice – we are not freaking well lying to you – you and Jenny whatever her fucking name’s antics – most lesbians in West Hollywood have seen those pictures – not to mention Abercrombie and Finch and the owner of a 99 cents store in Utah. If you want to bury your head in the sand – that’s fine but do not come crying to any of us when you cannot walk down the street because every lesbian is talking about you “