“You are the only woman I have ever really wanted “

Tina moved her body a little and sighed “You know that you are the same for me “

“I do know that – I guess what has happened has made me realise what an utterly amazing thing that we really do have. I know that no one else has ever been there for me. No one has sat by my sick bed and held my hand – no one. No one until you “

Tina damned herself for not realising this sooner. It explained her negative feelings towards her mother and why she was so adamant that they should rest together.

“My poor darling “

“It never bothered me until you came into my life – it was just one of those things, I can remember being sick when I was about 8 or so and dad would leave out what I needed in the kitchen and I would just sleep. Maybe its why I have always worked my way through slight colds and upset stomachs “

Tina thought about when she had been ill with chicken pox as a child– her memories were all about her parents and grandparents fussing around her and making her meals and buying her books and comics to read. Being sick hadn’t been so bad because people showed you that they loved you. Just thinking about that compared to Bette’s childhood brought tears to her eyes and she squeezed Bette tight.

Bette sighed “It might explain why in the words of James I am such a freak “

“I guess you are going to have to get used to being cared about “

“It was one of the things that I found the hardest about you and I “

“Being cared for ?”

“Yes – because it wasn’t the same as all the harem lusting after me – it was different because it wasn’t so physical. What you gave me was love and it terrified me and thrilled me and I felt like I was running in 20 directions all at once and getting nowhere “

“Because you didn’t know how to deal with it ?”

“Exactly – I sent you a lot of mixed messages in the early days “

“You did “ Tina admitted “ But I was as terrified as you in my own way “

“How ?”

“I was embracing a whole new way of life which in theory is very different to the reality of living as a gay woman. I know we mock Eric but at first it really bothered me. Some of the things he said really hurt me and although I had told you that I was fine with it – there were times when I had my doubts – not about you – not about you for one second – but about coming out and living with you as a couple and one day having a family “

“Remind me have Eric stuffed by a taxidermist for a wedding gift for you “ Bette muttered

Tina chuckled “Now I realise that this is the life that I am meant to live – with you and with pride – I love you and I am so proud to be the future Tina Kennard Porter”