Bette sat in bed wide awake unable to get the events of tonight out of her head. She had felt that things were going well between her and Tina and when Tina surprised her by kissing her at the end of the night Bette had never been happier. Until Tina pulled away with a look of fear and confusion in her eyes. Her ears rang with the last thing Tina said before she walked away.

Im sorry, I cant do this.

Bette had felt crushed when she heard this and she so badly wanted to run after Tina to try and figure out what happened. But her own fear of pushing Tina away stopped her. She needs time to think and figure things out just like she said, thought Bette as she sat there frustrated. Bette thought she had made a little progress with Tina after being able to be civil and then dancing with her, but maybe her efforts were pointless.

Bette laid down trying to sleep but she couldnt stop thinking about that kiss. She could still feel Tinas lips on hers and the more she laid there thinking about it, the more she felt her body responding to her thoughts. It had been so long since she had really felt the impact of one of Tinas kisses and Bette knew it wasnt something she would ever forget again. Bette could feel herself becoming aroused and she tried to push thoughts of Tina out of her head. As much as she loved and wanted Tina right now she really didnt feel like taking matters into her own hands.

The phone rang at that moment and Bette was glad for the distraction. Glancing at the clock she saw it was nearly one in the morning and she knew there was only one person who would call her this late.

Tina?

How did you know it was me?

Good guess.

Bette sat up again and the sound of Tinas voice was ripping her heart out. Tina sounded so unsure of herself and so vulnerable and Bette wished for nothing more than the opportunity to pull her close and shelter her from her pain. But you are her pain, so now what? wondered Bette.

Look Im sorry Im calling so late.

Its okay Tina. I was just thinking about you.

A small smile crossed Tinas lips as she had a good guess as to exactly what Bette was thinking about her. If Bette had felt anything near to what she had from that kiss it was safe to say that Bettes thoughts were not G rated. Against her better judgment she couldnt help but tease Bette a little.

What exactly were you thinking at one oclock in the morning while lying in bed?

Bette smiled, as she knew what Tina must have thought she was thinking about.

I just wanted to hear your voice thats all.

Tina frowned, not wanting the conversation to go in this direction. As much as she knew that at this point they could be back together within a matter of days she hesitated knowing she had to test Bettes patience to see if she was really going to change.

Bette, dont.

Im sorry but its the truth. I miss hearing it.

Look Im just calling to apologize. We were having a good time tonight and I didnt mean to ruin it.

Tina you didnt ruin it.

Yes I did, because I dont want you to get the wrong idea.

Bette slumped down further under the covers as she listened to Tina continue. Bette knew it had been too good to be true, and she swallowed the lump of frustration rising in her throat. She needs time, and I can give her that. I can show her that I can be patient until she trusts me again. These thoughts were racing through Bettes head as she listened to Tina continue.

Bette, as much fun as we were having tonight, it might have been a bad idea. Im sorry but it feels like a little too much too soon. Do you understand?

Of course I understand Tina. But I want you to know that I had a good time tonight too, I miss you.

I miss you too Bette, but I still need time okay?

Okay. Im not pressuring you Tina, you know I would never do that. And Ill be here when you are ready, no matter how long that takes, but I just want to make sure I should be here waiting.

This was a bit of a risk by Bette, but she had to know for sure if Tina saw a future for them or not. Tina was a little taken aback at this question and she knew that this was Bettes way of voicing her insecurities. She sighed as she thought about what Bette was asking. She wants to know if she should wait for me? How can she ask me to decide our future tonight? Tinas demeanor changed and Bette could sense it in the way she answered.

I dont know Bette, thats up to you. I cant make that decision for you.

Tina, Im not asking you to make any decisions tonight, Im just asking if somewhere down the road you see a future with me in it?

Tina could feel herself becoming tense and she felt the anger rise in her again. The same anger that she had had the day Bette came home and found her getting some things from the house. Tina couldnt figure out where this anger was coming from, and even she was surprised at the coldness of her own voice.

Why Bette? Do you want to know if youre wasting your time?

Upon hearing Tinas answer Bette felt like crying. She was trying so hard to let Tina know how she felt, but even she could see she was doing a crappy job at it. Bette knew that she had to lay everything on the line otherwise she would never have another chance with Tina again.

No Tina, I never felt like I was wasting my time with you. T, right now things are so unstable and I know its all my fault. Im literally kicking myself for putting us in this situation, but either way here we are. I love you Tina, and right now Im scared that I might lose you for good and I dont want that to happen. So Ill wait for however long it takes and Ill do whatever you tell me to because I cant give up on us. Does that make sense?

Tina felt tears forming in her eyes as she listened to Bette struggle with her emotions. Between the two of them Tina had always been the more emotionally open person and it was often hard to get Bette to open up and talk about how she was feeling. Tina knew Bette was really trying for once and she was amazed that Bette was actually capable of doing it.

Yes Bette, it makes sense. It makes perfect sense. I understand that youre scared and I am too. But do you really understand why I want to take things so slow?

Bette was confused. She thought this was about Tina not trusting her since she slept with Candace. What the ***** is she talking about? wondered Bette.

Because you need to learn to trust me again?

Thats part of it. But the other part is because I just dont want to go back to the way things were. Yes Candace has a lot to do with it Bette, but she isnt the only thing that went wrong with us. We were having problems long before her and I know you saw it too. We need to learn to trust each other and be open with each other. I cant go back to a relationship where I dont know what youre thinking half the time, and I dont want you to ever feel like you cant talk to me. We are partners Bette, in every way, and that means trusting each other enough to know that they will be there for you no matter what. You dont have to protect me from your fears or your doubts because believe it or not, I probably have a lot of the same ones. And baby, I can see it in your face when you are holding back. No more holding back Bette, from here on in its either all or nothing.

Tina held her breath as she waited for Bette to respond. She hoped that the ultimatum wasnt too much for Bette, but at this point this is what it came down to. Tina was not going to put herself in the position to get hurt again and that meant Bette had to be honest with her about everything, including her deepest fears.

Bette sat completely still as she thought about what Tina had said. She knew that Tina was giving her the option right now to either commit herself fully to this relationship or walk away for good. Bette knew that the latter was not even an option so she decided that if this is what Tina wanted then this is what she would have to do. She couldnt force Tina to do things her way anymore. She needed to learn to compromise and meet her half way. Bette struggled with mixed emotions as she carefully chose the words she wanted to say to Tina. Part of her wanted to dive in headfirst and tell Tina that yes, she was totally ready to be open with her, but part of her was uncertain. Not uncertain because she didnt know if she wanted Tina back, that was not even a question, but uncertain because she didnt know if she could handle it. After being so guarded with her emotions for all these years then suddenly having complete and total faith in someone and letting them in to see your most vulnerable side was no easy task for Bette. She knew that she had to somehow get Tina to see this, and she gathered her thoughts before speaking.

Tina, first and foremost I want you to know I heard every word you said and I understand what you are asking from me. But I need you to understand that I cant make any promises. I will do my best and really try my hardest to open up to you but know that its not something that comes easy for me, so at times if it seems like Im backing away again, I want you to know its not because I dont love you but because Im scared. Im scared of letting you in only for you to find that Im not the person you thought I was. I trust you more than anyone on this planet, and still I know I have a hard time opening up to you. But I am willing to give it my all if you will let me.

Tina let the tears flow down her cheeks as she listened to Bette. She couldnt remember a time in the past when Bette had been so open and vulnerable to her. A sense of power came over her and Tina knew that this would be something she could always hold over Bette, but she never would of course. Tina knew that Bette was being totally sincere in what she was saying and she understood what Bette meant. She too would have to compromise a little, and if Bette was willing to work on it then so was she.

Yes Bette, Im willing to let you. And Bette, I know exactly who you are. You are the same person I fell in love with seven years ago and the same person I am still in love with now. So to answer your other question, yes, I want you to wait for me.

Bette felt tears welling in her eyes and she did nothing to stop them from falling. Hearing Tina say that she wanted Bette to wait for her sent a feeling of joy and relief through her body. She felt her hands start to shake as she held the phone up to her ear and this time the shaking was coming from ecstasy. Bette felt that this had been one of the best talks theyve had in months, and she was pretty sure that Tina felt the same. It was nearly two in the morning and Bette had an early day tomorrow so she decided to end the conversation while it was going so well.

Tina I would wait forever. And not to change the subject or anything, but baby its almost two and we both have early days tomorrow. I want to finish this conversation though, so can we talk tomorrow?

Oh wow, I didnt realize it was so late. Yeah, why dont I call you when I get off of work? Unless youre working late tomorrow?

Just call whenever, Ill be able to talk. Okay Tina, goodnight.

Goodnight Bette.

T?

Yeah?

I love you.

I love you too Bette.

Bette hung up the phone feeling emotionally drained. She knew that she had a lot to work on if she was going to be the new and improved Bette, but at least she had a reason to do it. As she drifted off to sleep images of Tina clouded her mind and soon enough, despite her not wanting to, her hands took on a life of their own.